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Haters are gonna hate....

Well, it was bound to happen.

You all know that I have written a controversial book. Hey -- books that are tame don't grow up to be vehicles for social change. Books that are controversial, a little more than just entertainment....those are the books that can change the world.

But some folks don't want to see that change. Some people don't want a positive, gay black man succeeding in this world.

So I got calleda "pillow-biter" by Frat on the internet.

"Pillow-biter"....that's so....1986. Do people even say that anymore?

Anyway, I was merely sending messages to folks I thought might be interested in checking out Old Gold Soul. I get a message saying "No disrespect, but are you GAY???" I say "Yes, it says so right there on the website. No need to capitalize it; it's not the only thing that defines who I am. :-D I hope you signed the guestbook!" To which he responds "You should have pledged Kappa."

At this point, I am like oooooh-kayyyy......do we REALLY believe that only gays should pledge Kappa and there are no gay Alphas? Get a fucking CLUE. And besides, Kappa Alpha Psi is a fine organization with straight people and gay people, just like all the major black fraternities -- just like any fraternity.

So I say to him "But I am not a Kappa, I am an Alpha. Thanks for your support!"

I really wanted to say a whole lot of other things....it was very tough to not stoop to his level.

So then this dude says "Don't even respond....you are a pillow biter. And besides, you are grad chapter...weak azz."

So of course all the thoughts are coursing through my head, like how he seemed to have difficulties forming simple sentences, how "pillow biter" was my pet name for his father, how his little podunk school in the midwest certainly could have taught him to be more tolerant, and how his chapter shouldn't have made a CAT brother such as himself. "Love for all mankind" remember?

But all I simply said was "I appreciate the exchange we are having! I hope to come to your region soon to discuss my novel and all the issues raised in it!"

Asshole.

But I knew this would happen sooner or later, and I'm cool with it. Throughout this whole process, there are going to be people who resent the fact that I am a gay black Greek telling the story of a gay Black aspirant to a fraternity. No, it's not MY story....I write fiction. But it is the story of many people who have pursued and are in black fraternities.

It just sucks....a black man can't get unconditional support from other black men nowadays, even if they wear the same letters.

Which is EXACTLY why I am thankful for the FRAT that can and do support me in my endeavors! I know that the majority of my Frat aren't haters at all. They are not all homophobes, any moreso than most black men. Yes, some will be uncomfortable with the subject matter of my novel. And yes, some will be uncomofrtable with an openly gay man being an Alpha.

But the point of Brotherhood is to be able to accept your Brother as YOUR Brother, as if he were flesh and blood. There are too many MEMBERS of these organizations who feel like they can pick and choose who their Brothers are....you're only Frat if you pledged undergrad, if you're straight, if you have X amount of money, if you went to an HBCU, if you pledged in the North, South, whatever.....

Brotherhood is my scene....I love APhiA. All this extra shit is just that....EXTRA. I'm going to keep doing what I am doing, because before anything else, I am Rashid. As my frat said last night, being black and gay and an Alpha is only supposed to supplement the essence of who you really are INSIDE.

Sorry I couldn't start this week off on a more positive note...but hopefully there will be less haters out there trying to "check" me.

Ooooooh I'm so shook, maybe I won't be a writer anymore!

Asshole.

Posted by Rashid on October 18, 2004 6:34 AM