« And now for something completely different: | Main | Up and At 'Em »

Death of a True Idol (By Meghan Barr, Cornell Daily Sun)

Sometimes, somebody else's words more than suffice. Thanks for letting me repost this, Meghan!

Death of a True Idol
No Holds Barred
March 17, 2005
Meghan Barr

mariovazquez.jpg

The world stopped spinning on Monday when I logged onto CNN.com and discovered that Mario Vasquez, my curly-haired favorite contender on American Idol, had left the show due to "personal reasons." There it was, breaking news, right next to a report about the Iraq National Assembly. I couldn't believe it.

With the exception of the snow, my life since February has largely been defined by episodes of American Idol. I spend the vacuous stretches of time between episodes eating, sleeping and discussing the previous night's performances. But mostly I'm just waiting for the next show to begin.

I discovered Mario way back when nobody knew him. I mean nobody. Before fans like me, he was nothing but a Justin Guarini clone from the Bronx. So perhaps Mario should have considered the "personal" feelings of his legions of devoted fans when he abruptly skipped out of the competition without so much as a goodbye kiss.

I have compiled a list of important Mario stats for the idiots who never got to know him the way I did. Full name: Mario Vasquez. Age: 27. Audition city: Las Vegas. Nickname: Poopie. The neighborhood friends who came up with that nickname must have known instinctively that Mario was destined for greatness.

False rumors have swirled about his unexpected departure all week. I, along with fellow members of the Mario Vasquez LiveJournal team, have carefully employed scientific methods in order to disprove each theory.

Rumor #1: Mario has family problems. Anyone who watched the show would know that Mario and his mom, Ada, are really, really close. She made him sing when he was really little, even when he didn't feel like it, because she knew that he was talented. She even drove him to the audition in Las Vegas, which is a really long drive from New York. When the New York Post asked her about Mario's decision to quit, she admitted that she didn't even know the real reason. "I don't know. This is all news to me. He's a beautiful kid, he's very humble. I hope he has much success and much health."

Rumor #2: Mario will testify in the Michael Jackson case. Okay, people are only saying this because they're jealous. Mario displays the same type of raw talent that Michael Jackson had before all the plastic surgery. So he sang backup on a couple of Jacko's songs. That makes him 90 percent cooler and NOT a child molester.

Rumor #3: Mario is featured in a gay porn magazine. Just because Mario wears fedora hats and jean suits does not mean that he's gay. What about Justin Timberlake? Is he gay too? To the great relief of the online Mario community, our hero appeared on Tuesday's episode of Live With Regis and Kelly and cleared the air about the rumors. "I felt the competition wasn't right for me, and it's like ... you fall in love, and just for some reason after a while you don't understand why you're falling out of love," he explained.

The poetic nature of his answer really showcases Mario's artistic soul. Of course he couldn't give a literal answer: he lives according to the impulses of his heart. The only antidote to my grief, however, arrived in the form of Mario's fan websites. My compatriots expressed their angst much better than I could have:

"Mario is gone! I hate American Idol Season 4! I am soooo glad Nikko is back but I wonder what happened to make Mario drop out! He knew he won! Hehehe! Why not someone who sucked??? I feel horrible!!!!! I seriously don't know how much I want to watch the rest of the season anymore!!!!!!!"

Mario had a coalition of dedicated voters ready to fight till the death to make him the next American Idol. We shared a common cause. We fought bravely, side by side, regardless of race or gender. We voted together and cried together. Just before Mario left the competition forever, I discovered a heartbreaking online posting from a true believer:

"We are voting A TON ... but like in the Constantine community there is a crapload of members and they are voting like crazy. You know what I mean? We gotta keep the pride up guys! Let's get more members and post more often and VOTE TONS! I'm going to be making some banners and more icons soon that I will post! Keep the faith!!!!!!!"

Spoken too soon, my friend. She kept the porch light burning, but for what? Rejection by her idol?

Anyway, all I'm saying is that Mario totally would have won the competition, no doubt about it. That's all I've got right now. After Spring Break I might have a new favorite Idol, but the forecast does not look good.

Meghan Barr is a senior in the College of Arts and Sciences. She can be contacted at mtb28@cornell.edu. No Holds Barred appears Thursdays.

main_mario_460x250.jpg

Posted by Rashid on March 17, 2005 11:57 AM

Comments

Post a comment




Remember Me?

(you may use HTML tags for style)

Copyright ©2004 Rashid Darden. Design by LU Design. All Rights Reserved.