Having just been in a situation like that, I can tell you it's so not worth it to even dignify them with any sort of emotional response. It's pointless; just return their indifference with apathy and move on. Easier said than done, I know...it took me almost a year.

Seems like "HIM" lost a great thing. I am sure you have lots to offer. Most of us don't realize that we have something good until it has come and gone.

There are only two causes of anger (bitterness). One is as the result of feeling hurt. Anger is then a defense mechanism. The only other time that anger arises is as the result of a blocked wish. Someone or something has presented an obstacle between us and the object of our desire.




I was easily able to identify with the experience of wanting to share myself (and my time) with someone who won't/can't or doesn't want to share him/her-self with me to a degree that satisfies me. A few hours after reading the transcript of your conversation, I felt residual "blocked wish anger" from experiences of my own that your post echoed. One minute I want to be more involved with someone so bad that I can taste it. The next minute (after their rejection) I want only to hurt him/her in return and isolate myself for protection (or both).




It has been (and still is) a difficult lesson to learn that I can't always get what I want with/from others. These days, if I'm feeling strong attraction for, and affinity with, someone who doesn't share my feelings, I try with all my might to live within my original feeling. If I adore a man so much that I want to spend time with him, touch him and make love with him, yet he is only offering casual friendship, I still offer him my adoration. I still love ANY time that we spend together. And I make love with him by unapologetically showering him with all the forms of love that don't involve sexual touching. The feelings of adoration that I have for him ARE MY FEELINGS TO ENJOY. Out of love, I offering to share myself with him in anyway that he is willing/able to receive. I try to put down the notion that he should be offering me something in return. My having this expectation of him (despite reason) only brings ruin on my world. Love is a selfless offering of what you have give without expecting anything in return.




If you truly love him (in some way), love him still. Just find someone else to share the ecstasies of love with. Chances are there are at least a few guys who adore you from the shadows. You may want one of them. You may have overlooked someone.

Rashid,
I need not tell you that the relationship is moving faster for you than for HIM. Slow your roll a bit so that hopefully you can both arrive at the same place and at the same time(and I know that may be frustrating). I recommend this Chinese proverb. "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was. We do not possess anything in this world, least of all other people. We only imagine that we do. Our friends, our lovers, our spouses, even our children are not ours; they belong only to themselves. Possessive and controlling friendships and relationships can be as harmful as neglect." I'm off to the health club and work. I'll check in on you later. Peace and one.
'06

Oooops! Sorry, after rereading what I submitted to be posted, I realized that I made a few grammatical errors. Here is the way my post should read (I hope I cleaned them all up):

There are only two causes of anger (bitterness). One is as the result of feeling hurt. Anger is then a defense mechanism. The only other time that anger arises is as the result of a blocked wish. Someone or something has presented an obstacle between us and the object of our desire.




I was easily able to identify with the experience of wanting to share myself (and my time) with someone who won't/can't or doesn't want to share him/her-self with me to a degree that satisfies me. A few hours after reading the transcript of your conversation, I felt residual "blocked wish anger" from experiences of my own that your post echoed. One minute I want to be more involved with someone so bad that I can taste it. The next minute (after their rejection) I want only to hurt him/her in return and isolate myself for protection (or both).




It has been (and still is) a difficult lesson to learn that I can't always get what I want with/from others. These days, if I'm feeling strong attraction for, and affinity with, someone who doesn't share my feelings, I try with all my might to live within my original feeling. If I adore a man so much that I want to spend time with him, touch him and make love with him, yet he is only offering casual friendship, I still offer him my adoration. I still love ANY time that we spend together. And I make love with him by unapologetically showering him with all the forms of love that don't involve sexual touching. The feelings of adoration that I have for him ARE MY FEELINGS TO ENJOY. Out of love, I offer to share myself with him in anyway that he is willing/able to receive. I try to put down the notion that he should offer me something in return. My having this expectation of him (despite reason) only brings ruin on my world. Love is a selfless offering of what you have to give without expecting anything in return.




If you truly love him (in some way), love him still. Just find someone else to share the ecstasies of love with. Chances are there are at least a few guys who adore you from the shadows. You may want one of them. You may have overlooked someone.

Asshole!

u know..ive probably talked to u before about my having to say "peace" .... u did the right thing...U dont want anybody to feel a certain way because they think u want them to....jeez

I'm sorry to hear that the situation did not resolve with a walk into the sunset. But this is bittersweet--you are making headway and moving on, and sometimes it's a fine idea to be "selfish" with your heart. :p

That bama knows he just missed out on the boat. If for no ther reason than you're gonna be rolling in dough soon LMAO (you know me lol). But for real, it really sucks when you like someone and they really couldn't care less. I say good riddence, don't wast your time and love where its not appreciated and craved with the same, if not more intensity as yours.

Rashid,
First off, I come to your journal everyday to find peace cause if there is anyone I expect to have it, it's you.

Now to the subject at hand. Ole Boy is wrong in a sense. However, I know guys that just cannot put their emotions into words. You remind me of myself when I was younger. I would fall for the folks that seemed to have the right frame work but they lacked the mental capacity to understand my feelings the way I needed them.

My Guess, you need to be strong and unmoveable in your stance to not speak or have any contact with him. It's changing your lighthearted manner. You deserve to be enveloped into the arms of a man that will capture the essence of your words and look to decipher the feelings in your heart.

In life, I have learned that what we want isn't always as good as what we really need. I had to learn it the hard way. I am emotional too and just reading your past couple of thoughts have made me want to screem.(see my site for the news).

I feel you 100%. Where are the brothers that appreciate emotion, the foundation for a good relationship lies there.

Rashid, get of the SEE SAW and move to the SWING and push yourself as high as you can. See the world higher and feel the breeze. Darkness is only a transition. Ok that is my philosophy and I am not a doctor. Just been where you have been.

Crying on the Inside.
I came in Peace and In peace I will leave.

Remember what you told me about Corye?