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Looking for Nell Carter
White boys are so pretty
Skin as smooth as milk
White boys are so pretty
Hair like Chinese silk
So last night, I was watching/listening to one of my favorite musicals of all time, Hair. I used to have a VHS tape of Hair from when it was on the A&E channel this one time. I swear I wore that tape out from fast forwarding through the commercials and watching it over and over again.
Luckily, I got a DVD player and sometime last year finally got Hair on DVD. It’s one of the DVDs I will pop in and listen to while I am trying to get other work done. You know…for noise effect, as they say.
But this time was a little different. It felt like the movie was speeding along. Next thing I knew we were at the scene at the draft board and the musical number “Black Boys.” Intercut with scenes of the naked white boy and the black members of the draft board were shots of three black women in central park, ogling and cat-calling the white boys there. One of those three black women was a slimmer (but still thick) Nell Carter. I couldn’t turn my head as she sang the opening lines of the song:
White boys are so sexy
Legs so long and lean
At this point she grabs her thigh and looks at the white boys like “oops!” It is one of the best moments in the entire movie for me.
Love those sprayed-on trousers
Love the love machine
And she does this bump and it’s just like ahhhhh man, that is one sexy woman. She owned her sexuality – I don’t think I knew what it meant to own your sexuality until that moment. No, she wasn’t perfect – she was short and always had a weight problem, but in 1979, this was just a little thick woman who was so confident, so beautiful…
Most people from my generation know Nell Carter from the show Gimme a Break! And that’s cool, Gimme a Break! was a great show. At the time, I think black folks may have been up in arms about this fantabulous Broadway actress with the full, rich voice portraying, of all things, a maid. I’m sure people were like damn…again? Why must we always be servants to white folks, even when we’re the star of the show?
But to me, a kid in Kindergarten, I didn’t see race. In fact, when my mom asked me “What color is your teacher?” I said “Oh, she’s about your color.” So I didn’t see a modern-day “Mammy.” I saw a lady who took care of her friend’s husband and children after she died. (Sidebar: People were sho nuff dying all the time in 80’s sitcoms, weren’t they?)
Though the “sassy housekeeper with a heart of gold” archetype had been done before (and still is done), Nell Carter brought to the role confidence and sexuality. Maybe I am remembering this wrong, but didn’t she always have a thing for Billie Dee Williams on the show? She was never androgynized or desexualized like Paula Kelly or Marsha Warfield on Night Court, nor was she made into a vamp like Jackee’ on 227. She was in many ways just an average single woman.
Almost all of my favorite moments from Gimme a Break! involved her singing. Damn, her voice was beautiful – is there a Nell Carter album somewhere? Gotta be. Anyway, I remember this one time that she sat in front of the piano and started singing “Memory” from Cats.
Memory…
All alone in the moonlight
I remember the old days
I was beauuuutiful thennnnn….
She was such a ham – I loved it!
Then of course the men who were always trying to marry her. Remember: “This is the church, this is the steeple, open it up and here are all the people waiting for us to get married, Nell!”
And how about when Nell and Addie (Telma Hopkins) went to Mississippi (or Alabama?) to visit Nell’s sister (played by the late, great Lynne Thigpen), who for some reason, always had beef with her. What finally brought them together was when they played some old records and started singing along. It seemed so natural, like they were really all best friends.
Then of course the show jumped the shark when they went to New York. It was still good to me (I mean hey, I was in elementary school, nothing really sucked about television). But it was eventually cancelled.
Nell Carter also appeared on Hangin’ With Mr. Cooper and Reba after Gimme a Break! went off the air. Before that, she appeared in Hair, Ain’t Misbehavin’ (on and off-Broadway as well as a television version), and later as Miss Hannigan in a 20th Anniversary revival of Annie.
On Thursday, January 23, 2003, we got the news:
BEVERLY HILLS, California (CNN) -- Actress and singer Nell Carter, best known for her role as the housekeeper in the TV sitcom "Gimme a Break!", died Thursday. She was 54.Carter's publicist Roger Lane said Carter collapsed and died of natural causes in her Beverly Hills home.
She had suffered from diabetes and had recovered from a near-deadly bout with a brain aneurysm in the 1990s. Lane said he did not know if her diabetes contributed to her death.
I think I was pretty hurt by it, as much as I would be by any actor dying before their prime, but especially one I had grown up watching nearly every day in syndication.
I didn’t find out until months later that Nell Carter loved women the same way that I love men. Damn you, E! True Hollywood Stories.
I remember watching it with my mom and in the very last thirty seconds of the program, they said almost verbatim what you can find on the internet now:
When she died, friends and family were surprised to discover barely $200 in her bank account. They were further startled to discover that Carter had been living as a closeted lesbian, and that custody of her children had been left to her domestic partner.
My mouth fell open and my mom said “Uh-huh! Betcha didn’t know THAT one, didya!” (She had only found out a week before, I was watching the re-run.)
I wish that I had always known that Nell Carter loved women. Yes, she had been married to a man at one point. (Which is when she converted to Judaism, but that’s another story.) But I don’t know…did she really ever love men? Did she always love women? Was she on the “DL?”
I hate that I’ll never know the answers to these questions.
It’s like maybe in my subconscious mind, I always knew that she was one of us, no matter how many men proposed to the Gimme a Break! Nell, no matter how many white men she cat-called in Hair. She owned her sexuality on stage and in private. She lived with her woman at the end of her life. The custody of her children went to her partner. That’s love…
I want to meet Nell Carter. I want to know if she identified as a black Lesbian. I want to give her a hug. I want to help her manage her money better and get good health insurance and help her keep her weight off. I would stop her from eating those “funeral foods” that are killing black folks.
But she’s gone, and been gone.
I don’t want to lose any more of my heroes and sheroes. I want all gay black people to live to be a hundred, or however long it takes for them to come out. I don’t want one of my heroes to be outed by E!. I want them to come out on their own terms, to be the role models, to be proactive. I want them to stand with me for equal marriage rights. I want them to fight AIDS with me.
I want them to stand up as proud men who love men, women who love women, and whoever loving whomever. I don’t want Keith Boykin to do this alone. We need our activists, yes, but we need our actors, lawyers, doctors, singers, writers, filmmakers, rappers (yes, rappers), teachers, politicians – we need you out here. Not in the closet.
Some pebbles in the pond cause ripples. Some cause tidal waves. Imagine what this world would be like if people could really be themselves? We would actually see the diversity that exists among all people, straight or gay.
And maybe one day, nobody will care anymore.
And then we will have won.
See you on the other side, Ms. Carter.
Posted by Rashid on August 3, 2005 9:56 AM
Comments
Good entry!
I didn't know she was a lesbian. I used to love GAB, but I don't remember too much of it because its syndication over here wasn't that long.
Commented by marths on August 3, 2005 12:21 PM
Very interesting and eye-opening info. I love Nell anyway, she was always so funny to me. Gimme A Break was a favorite growing up.
And yes, people did die a lot on the 80's sitcoms.
Commented by Double 'A' Ron on August 3, 2005 12:42 PM
I loved Gimme a Break! I didn't know she was gay. That is off the hook. I can see you really dig or dug her. That is cool.
Commented by No 4real4real on August 3, 2005 3:51 PM
I never knew Nell was a lesbian. Really didn't matter, because I loved her for her body of work.
Commented by Nikki on August 3, 2005 5:02 PM
I used to watch Gimme a Break religiously as a kid. I do remember the episodes with her sister and how they never got along and of course the lady who played her mom(Mother Winslow). You brought back some memories for me. I did not know she was a lesbian either, now that was surprising and yes her voice was like butter.
Commented by Ricky on August 3, 2005 6:45 PM
How I still miss Nell Carter. She was one of the greats. I used to break my neck to see Gimme A Break when I was a kid. Still remains one of my all-time favorite shows. I guess like most people, I didn't find out that she was a lesbian until I saw her E! True Hollywood Story. I was a little surprised in the beginning. But honestly, it really doesn't matter. I love her regardless! I do need to find out if there are any recordings of her music available....
Commented by BuddahDesmond on August 3, 2005 10:24 PM
you caught me off-guard with that one; my eyes are burning.
nell was my girl. reading this sorta gave me the closure with her death that i never realized I needed. i missed the THS on her. i never heard she was gay.
thanks for this beautiful piece. i'm going out today to find a copy of HAIR.
Commented by taylor Siluwé on August 4, 2005 8:20 AM
The Nell Carter info was great - she was a very under-rated performer.
I agree that more SGL people of color need to be "loud and proud" - visability is our greatest obstacle.
Commented by Audacity™ on August 4, 2005 5:01 PM
forgive me for not commenting on the love she chose.It's just that I'm still overwhelmed by the tremendous warmth I encountered, each time see her flawless smile or hear her lovely voice. It is comforting thinking about her. Love all her performances!!!!
Commented by Sherry on October 3, 2005 1:41 PM
I wish I had a chance to meet her.(it's the down side) Love Nell, Always will. I think about her all the time, and bask in the joy that fills my hear. Love her work,,,,,,,,Love her!!!! I miss her a whole lot.
Commented by Miracle on October 5, 2005 12:31 PM
Gimme a Break marathon on TV1 today. Wow. I loved nell. She was a real star. Had no idea she was one of us. I found the original cast album of Ain't Misbehavin at a thrift store. Her voice really works me over.
Commented by Ray on February 11, 2006 2:00 PM
I came across this blog while looking for Nell Carter. Especially asking the question that is asked above, surely, somewhere there must be a compilation of her music.
Many years ago Dolly Parton made an heroic effort at reviving the variety show format with a show of her own on prime time. It was very short lived only a few episodes, but Nell Carter was featured on one episode. Nell sang a rendition of "Back in the High Life Again" that pierced my soul. She sang it like a gospel anthem, like a thunderstorm after a long drought, like the morning after. It was truly triumphant and after all these years I have never seen or heard of a copy of that song done by Nell.
I would love to hear it again. I would love to hear Nell Sing again. She wasn’t around near long enough.
Commented by Annie on March 24, 2006 1:20 AM
I was only 4 when GAB started but I remember watching the show religiously, I always felt a kinship with Nell. Back then I thought it was because there was a plus sized black woman on TV who looked a lot like my mom & maternal granny, who sang very well, another trait shared with my mom. I LOVED the show and watched it through its entire run and I associate that show so much with my childhood. I just found out that its been releasted on DVD, I got it along with a made for tv movie Maid For Each Other, that Nell starred in. The fact that she was a lesbian only added to my eternal love for this immensely talented woman who passed away too soon. There was only 1 Nell Carter. Your statements about closeted people needing to come out are so true, I've never been closeted as I've lived my entire life openly, I wish everyone else were the same.
Commented by Shaun on December 6, 2006 12:59 AM