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Maybe.

Rashid: hey....i have something to tell you, related to that

NT: Sure, shoot.

Rashid: I'm going to cut off my locks, i think

NT: Now what would make you want to do that?

Rashid: I am keeping them for the wrong reasons, I think. I've wanted to run my hands through my 'fro for a while. But every time I mention cutting them people are like "noooooo don't do it, you look sooooo goood with them." And the funny thing is, I look "so good" but not good enough to have a significant, meaningful relationship. Yet, everyone I kick it with loves touching them, loves running their fingers through them. I think that my locks have become too much of my trademark. But to me, it's just hair. It doesn't represent anything spiritual. So, I think to sorta separate my vanity from the essence of who I am, I need to get rid of the locks

NT: Whoa, that was incredibly deep.

Rashid: It's not that I am trying to make myself ugly because I'm sick of the dating scene..... but I think that I need to get in touch with the real me again. If the lack of locks shows off the tad-too wide ears, or shows off the extra 20 pounds I need to lose, then so be it. Whatever they're hiding is all me.

NT: If you feel that they are a hindrance to your own self-development, then you do what you must.

Rashid: I think they might be. And I just might start locking again, who knows? But I think some other reasons are that my current loctitian uses a product that seems to flake off a lot and make it look like I have bad dandruff. Plus, I don't feel my scalp is as clean as it ought to be. I liked when I had the afro.

NT: Hey, to thy own self be true.

Rashid: So, I dunno....and now that I am seriously contemplating it, I feel scared -- and it's like yo, why should I feel scared? Am I afraid that people will find me unattractive? And that's exactly what it is. And that kinda bothers me about myself. I should feel attractive no matter what I do to my hair. But maybe I feel like my hair is all I really have.

Rashid: Yeah....I am trying. I apologize for all the venting and whatnot. I've just really never talked to anyone about this in depth.

NT: You forget one other thing that you have that makes you attractive to others.

NT: It's all good, dawg.

Rashid: The ill Rah-Rah?

NT: No. Not even if I knew what a 'rah rah' was.

Rashid: lol okay, so what then?

NT: No, it's your intelligence.

Rashid: ooooooh.....that

NT: Why do you think people buy your book or listen to you speak?
NT: B/c they have nothing else to do?
NT: No, it's because you speak on a level that they understand and you're articulate.
NT: I do feel the same way about my own hair.
NT: But folks need to realize that there's more to me than hair.
NT: There are folks who knew me way before I started lockin'.

Rashid: True true....I hear you.

NT: And some of those folks are still around today.

Rashid: right

NT: I think the insecurity you feel about your appearance is only skin deep.

Rashid: There are so many people in my life who don't know me from when I had short hair.

NT: If someone really wants you, they must see past some of that.

Rashid: yeah, that's true

NT: Not to say that they must be blind.

Rashid: yeah

NT: If you feel more comfortable with an afro, then do what you must.
NT: Don't let others control your life.
NT: You haven't done that before, so why start now?

Rashid: That's true.....
Rashid: Like Fantasia said, I need to go ahead and free myself, lol

NT: If she were anymore free with her hair, she'd be bald and possibly nekkid.

Rashid: LOLOLOL
Rashid: Thank you so much. You really do understand me.

NT: Well, I'm glad I could share with you.
NT: I think as you progress towards notoriety you should really focus on carrying yourself.
NT: You shouldn't have to worry too much about the way you look.
NT: It's more about the way you feel.
NT: You can tell by looking at people that they are insecure or vain about themselves.

Rashid: That's true
Rashid: I know one thing.....it's gonna look a hot mess when i cut it, lol. But in a good way.
Rashid: In a sense, I will be more natural than I am now....I might just let it have ragged lengths, I dunno

NT: Yeah. I have a friend who did that and didn't look that bad.

Rashid: Let me show you a picture of somebody whose hair I wish I had....my texture isn't really "curly" enough for this, but I wish it looked this way....

Rashid:

NT: Are you serious? Wasn't this fool on some sort of commercial?

Rashid: LOL
Rashid: i dunno...that's Toure', the writer and hip-hop journalist type

NT: Oh.
NT: I have a friend and she has hair similar to that.
NT: Her hair is a light brown.
NT: Ah, it doesn't matter. Be you.
NT: It hasn't hindered you before.
NT: So why should it now.

Rashid: true
Rashid: *hug* thanks man

NT: No problem, dawgz. *hug*

Posted by Rashid on September 23, 2005 11:50 PM