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Excerpt of Covenant

September 1

I woke up in bed next to a glassy-eyed stranger, not knowing who he was, but feeling oddly at ease with him.

“What the fuck?” I said softly. My eyes adjusted to the harsh rays of sunlight piercing my blinds until I was able to focus on the furry stranger in my bed. His eyes, genuinely made of glass, stared back at me, smiling – elated that he had been placed in my care.

“A damn teddy bear,” I grumbled, grinning on the inside. He wore a “Somebody at Potomac University Loves Me” shirt over his light brown fur. He wasn’t a large bear by any means, but large enough to be noticeable to the visitors of my room.

He did it again.

The last thing I remembered from the night before was talking to him, he who had stopped by unexpectedly just to say hello. I was already in bed when he came by. Heavy rapping at the door made me believe that one of my roommates had forgotten their key.

I swung the door open, surprised to see him standing there.

“Adrian,” he said, sizing me up in a deliberate floor-to-ceiling gesture with his head.

“Hey,” I said, feeling naked in my white sleeveless t-shirt, which clung tightly to my slender torso while my blue basketball shorts slung low on my hips, revealing the white FTL band of my boxer briefs. .

“Can I come in?” he asked, peering around the door and trying to take a glance at my living room.

“Um,” I said, uncertain whether he was intent on breaking the pact before the school year had even begun.

“Dude, just for a minute,” he said. “You know I’m not going to go back on my promise. I just…I just had to see you before we…we…”

“Okay,” I interrupted. “You can stay for a while.”

I tried to hide my smile from him, so I quickly walked toward the kitchenette. “You want something to drink?”

“Naw,” he said, closing the door behind him. He sat down on the old brown couch and let his old, tattered gym bag fall to the floor at his feet while I got myself a glass of water. I sat in the gray cushioned chair across from him and slowly sipped my drink.

“You seem uncomfortable,” he said.

“Naw…just nervous, I guess.”

“Nervous?” he said, leaning forward on the couch, as close to me as he could without sliding off. “I just saw you like two weeks ago, dawg.”

“You know how we can get,” I said. “We’re just chillin’ one minute, then the next minute…well, you know.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I know. By the way, nice shorts.”

I immediately sat Indian style in the chair, trying to hide my slender brown legs underneath me.

“You don’t get it,” he said, laughing.

“What’s so funny?” I asked with a nervous smile.

“Those are my shorts,” he said. I looked down again. Sure enough, the shorts weren’t mine.

I looked at him, seeing a smile wider than the main Quad. It was infectious. Finally, the ice had been broken and I could smile in his presence again.

He was back in my life, if only for a few moments on the night before classes. We both stood up and hugged in the middle of my living room.

“I missed you,” he whispered, lips brushing lightly against my ear.

“I missed you, too,” I said to him, through his chest.

“You were sleeping, weren’t you?” he asked. He backed away slightly, looking down to my eyes while holding on to my arms.

“Almost,” I said. “I was just lying in bed when you came over. I have a lot to do tomorrow.”

“Come on, then,” he said, letting his hands slide down my arms. “Go back to sleep.”

“Dude, you know I can’t just fall back to sleep now.”

“Yeah you can,” he said taking my hand and leading me to the short set of stairs leading to the bedrooms and bathroom.

“Which one is yours,” he asked as we crept through the darkened hallway.

“The middle,” I said. He had brought his gym bag downstairs with him as though he planned on spending the night.

We entered my dark room, lit only with the light of my computer screen. He sat down at my desk and started checking his email on my Dell. I got under the sheets and laid face up so I could see him.

“You ready for class tomorrow?” he asked me.

“Yeah,” I said. “Are you?”

“Yeah, I guess so. I hope I like all of them.”

“You will,” I said. He turned to face me in the darkness and smiled one last time before I fell asleep.

He must have hidden the teddy bear in his gym bag and put it next to me in bed before he let himself out of my apartment. He still loved me. His swagger, his smile, his voice, his deeds – they all called out to me, but I couldn’t answer. Not then, not yet. There was much work to be done before he and I would be ready to move forward.

***

When I woke up in the morning, I named the bear Miles and put him on my desk. Actually, I named him Miles because I rested him on top of my Miles Davis CDs. My apartment, located deep in Hurley Village, was already bustling with activity.

Calen was one of my favorite frat brothers and now my housemate. We were initiated together and had experienced many trials and tribulations to make it to that point. When we were at our darkest hour as a pledge class, Calen was one of the few who showed that he was in my corner regardless of the circumstances. From the outside looking in, we made for a rather odd pair. I was of average height, just shy of five feet, ten inches. Calen, on the other hand was six and a half feet tall, 250 pounds easy. He had a beautiful caramel complexion and a baby face, even though nothing else about him was juvenile.

His laughter emanating from the kitchen reminded me that we were to wear our fraternity shirts. It was a tradition in our chapter that we dressed in paraphernalia on certain days, like the first day of class or Homecoming. My burgundy shirt with old gold letters was already hung neatly in my closet, and khaki shorts were placed on the back of my chair. After I took a shower and clothed, I was ready to face my rambunctious housemates.

“Yo, what up Adrian?” my burly frat brother hailed from the kitchen table. “B-Chi!”

“Chi Phi!” I responded. Calen loved saying the fraternity call whenever he had the chance. He was definitely a super-neo. “What’s up, fellas?”

Adrian’s two teammates, Brad and Orlando were relaxing in the living room, watching SportsCenter on ESPN. They returned my greeting and went back to SportsCenter.

“Nice shirt,” Calen said playfully, while eating his cereal. “I got me one just like it.”

“Thanks,” I said sarcastically. “Matter of fact, you seem to be wearing it right now.”

We laughed, and I grabbed a bagel from the pantry. It was about 9:30am by the green numbers on the microwave’s clock, and there was much to be done today.

“You got a 10:15 class, yo?” Calen asked.

“Naw…I gotta go to the bank in the student center, though. That joint opens at ten.”

“Word?” Calen asked. “You know I had an 8:50 already, right?”

“What?” I asked incredulously, pausing while spreading cream cheese on my bagel. “I know you didn’t have no 8:50 on the first day…ain’t you back kinda early?”

“Naw, they just gave us the syllabus and we was out. Now I ain’t got shit to do until 12 or so.”

“Messed up,” I said, biting into my bagel. “Yo, you know first chapter meeting is in two weeks, right?”

“Yeah…not this Sunday, but the next one. Dude, you think Jamal is going to be active this year?”

Get the fuck off the line, Adrian! His voice rang in my ears as clear as the night he screamed at me to stop pledging his beloved Beta. He hit me -- numerous times -- but I stuck it out. I lost Savion. I sweat blood and tears to get these letters across my chest, but Jamal…I could feel my stomach wrapping around his fist once again. I felt nauseated.

“Adrian? Dude, what’s wrong?” my line brother asked.

“Jamal…” I said distantly. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him around yet.”

“Adrian, you know, I’m sorry,” Calen said. “I thought you had squashed that beef from last year. I won’t mention…I mean, don’t worry. Just forget about it.”

I slowly came back to my kitchen and away from the chaos of that infamous night.

“It’s okay,” I lied. “I’m not worried about it.” The truth was that I just didn’t feel like dealing with it. Brother Jamal hated my guts and it showed every single day since the night he tried to make me depledge Beta. He hated me because he discovered my secret, my only obstacle to Beta: my boyfriend.

When learning that I was gay wasn’t enough to make me drop Jamal and Brother Craig tried to beat the resolve out of me. I almost didn’t make it. I was ready to stop everything and just walk away from what I had invested so many weeks and months of my life into. I died that night. But like Lazarus, I rose again and finished what I started. At least, that’s why my pledge Dean named me “Lazarus” – the name embroidered on the back of my t-shirt.

Somebody tapped lightly on our door, and I raced to answer it, glad that something would distract me from the thought of Jamal. I peeped through the blinds and saw my favorite female in the world.

“Hey, boo!” Nina shouted, waking up any other sleeping soul in our entire apartment complex.

“Hey, chica!” I responded, a huge grin crossing my face.

“Your sexy ass roommates up in here?” she asked, huge afro puff bouncing behind her head as she spoke. Her deep brown skin radiated in the morning sunlight. She wore a floral print dress, a festive little number to celebrate the first day of class.

“Yeah, we here,” Calen said from behind me. “What’s up, girl?” Calen and Nina hugged with much familiarity.

“Hey boys!” she said over Calen’s shoulder to Brad and Orlando.

“Hi, Nina.” the boys said. They were easily transfixed by her beauty and her confidence. If Nina could do nothing else well, she could silence a room. Men loved her; women were painfully indifferent.

“You ready?” she asked. I picked up my book bag from just inside the doorway.

“Yup,” I said. “Let’s go.”

“Wait, Frat,” Calen said, grabbing my shoulder. I turned around and Calen shook my hand. Pulling each other close, we gave each other the secret handshake of the fraternity.

“Have a good day, Frat,” he said sincerely.

“Thanks, Frat,” I said, grinning slightly. Calen was a good man. He was the polar opposite of Jamal, and I loved him for it.

Nina and I walked through Hurley Village toward our student center on this magnificent September day. Late summer at Potomac University was always a beautiful time of year. The campus was clean, the trees were green, and everybody was happy. Even me.

“I am loving those letters, boy!” Nina said. I smiled.

“I’m glad to be wearing them, girl.” I sighed. Nina knew just how bad I wanted to be a Beta and what I sacrificed to get those three letters. She was the only person who stood behind me one hundred percent.

“You know, it’s not too late for you to be…I dunno, an AKA?” I suggested playfully.

“Adrian, don’t you start with me again,” Nina said, soflty grabbing my sleeve. “I don’t want no parts of these Greek hussies on this campus.”

“Ha!” I said. “No you didn’t call them hussies.”

“Yup. You know I don’t like being around too many women. They talk too much.”

“You a woman, too, honey.”

“Oh, I know, sweetie. But ummm…you really don’t wanna see me cut a bitch for putting her hands on me, do you?”

“Naw,” I said. “I guess I don’t. They’d be fucking with the wrong broad if they put their hands on Nina Bradley.”

“You damn right. Now, are we depositing or withdrawing from this here bank?” she asked as we crossed the glass doors into the student center.

“Depositing,” I said. “The father figure sent me a check the other day.”

“Well…that’s good. Right?”

“Yeah,” I said. “It’s damn good. A nigga is out of your life for a decade, and they start finding inventive ways to make it up to you.”

“Damn,” she said, partly because of my comment, but mostly because the line to the bank was so long. I grabbed a deposit slip and began to fill it out while we waited.

“Adrian, look look look,” Nina said.

“What?” I asked. “Where am I looking?”

“Second girl in line with the sandals on.”

“Okay…what about her?”

“Look…at her nasty ass feet.”

I looked at the girl from her short denim skirt to her light brown legs, and finally her ashy feet. I stifled laughter.

“That broad look like she been playing soccer in a flour pit, Adrian!”

“Hush!” I said quietly. “You already got me laughin’ at this chick in my letters, please don’t let her turn around and see us clowning her.”

“But she shouldn’ta come out the house without putting some Vaseline on them dogs! I mean, Adrian, come on now.”

Tears were streaming from my face by now, but at least I wasn’t laughing out loud.

“I mean, maybe,” I stopped and giggled. “Maybe she just got out of bed?”

Nina was now convulsing with stifled laughter herself. “But look at all her makeup, man! How she gonna put her face on but not her feet!”

And with Nina’s final quip we were gone, laughing so hard that the people in front of and behind us in line were trying to figure out what was going on. Meanwhile, homegirl in the front of the line was oblivious to our inside joke. Nina and I leaned on each other and exhaled a spontaneous “whoo” that signified the end of our episode. Just as that happened, I felt a familiar, strong hand on my shoulder. Nina saw the hand, looked behind me, and smiled. I turned around.

“Hey,” he said softly.

“Hey,” I said, smiling.

“Oh my god!” a shrill female voice said from behind him. “How are you doing! I am so glad I saw you! Give me a hug, Mr. Beta Man!”

I deflated on the inside, but kept my smile on my face as I hugged her. She was Taina Banks, a beautiful, friendly girl who served with me on the board of the NAACP the previous year. She was now the Vice President.

He…was Isaiah Aiken. Her boyfriend, and my…friend, as of the previous summer, when we were roommates.

“I am just so proud of you, Adrian!” Taina continued. “I remember you were looking tore up when you were on line for Beta, but I will never forget the night of your probate show. Who knew you could sang like that, boy!”

We all laughed. Taina and Nina were cordial to one another, but each had dominating personalities, so it would be interesting to see who might “win” the conversation.

“Hey, girl!” Taina then said to Nina. “Girl, that dress is soooo cute! Oh my God!”

“Thanks, girl!” Nina said. “And you are working those jeans!”

“Okay!” Taina said. “You know I got these right down on Wisconsin Avenue before summertime, right?”

“From the Gap?” Nina asked.

“Naw, girl, from Express!” Nina and Taina’s girl talk was legendary. Nina loved to camp it up around ultra-feminine women like Taina. It was almost like watching a man in drag. She wasn’t entirely comfortable around girly girls, but she would also not be outdone by any personality more gregarious than her own. As the ladies chatted, I focused on them. I was afraid to look at him…Isaiah.

“Did you see it?” he asked in a low tone, sure that neither Nina nor his girlfriend could hear.

“Yeah,” I replied. “You really shouldn’t…”

“I know,” he said. “I know.”

He playfully punched me on the shoulder, lightly at first, then a little harder. I inched forward in the line, and then turned around to face him. He was still the most attractive man on campus, and probably one of the more attractive men I had ever met. He was light-skinned, light-eyed, and had high cheekbones. His voice was incredibly deep. He didn’t look like the typical college basketball player, other than his height and broad shoulders. He was almost too “pretty” – a word that was often attributed to preppy, well kept black dudes who wore khakis and button-down shirts. But that was not Isaiah. His striking, runway worthy features were masked by oversized t-shirts, baggy jeans, and boots. And ironically, this basketball player preferred wearing football jerseys off the court. It was Isaiah’s shorts that I wore to sleep the night before.

“Don’t,” I said, moving my eyes toward Nina and Taina, who were still talking.

“All that,” he whispered “ain’t shit. That’s all about to be dead. You know where my heart is.”

“You can’t do this,” I whispered sharply. “Remember your promise.”

He frowned. I stepped backward from him.

“So, you coming back to NAACP this year?” Taina asked abruptly.

“Of course!” I exclaimed. “You know that’s where my roots are.”

“Well why you ain’t wanna be on the board this year?” she asked earnestly.

“Girl, you know I’ma be at those meetings. I just wanted to give somebody else a chance. And have some time to be a Beta, you know?”

“Yeah, I guess,” she smiled. “Well, me and Isaiah saw you two in here and just wanted to say hi! I am so glad you got to be his roommate this summer! He has not been able to stop talking about you!”

“Oh really?” I asked. Isaiah looked away as Taina continued to smile and nod.

“Yup!” she said. “It’s like you his new role model!”

We all had a good laugh at that one, but only Isaiah and I knew the danger involved. I couldn’t believe he was talking about me to her. If he was going to square things away with Taina, he needed to do it. Just don’t involve me in it.

“Well, we’re off! Toodles!” Taina said.

“Toodles, girlfriend!” Nina chirped. As they walked away, Taina slid her hand into Isaiah’s.

“I hate that bitch,” Nina said. I burst out laughing.

“Why?” I asked. “She ain’t did nothing to you!”

“She’s just so fuckin’ girly. I mean, damn. Tone that shit down.” We laughed some more. Although I knew she noticed – and Nina noticed everything – she didn’t mention the uneasy tension between me and Isaiah.

When I finally got to the teller window, I deposited my check. Five thousand dollars, paid to the order of Adrian Collins, from Adam Collins. My dad.

Some things change.

Did you enjoy what you read?

Posted by Rashid on February 10, 2006 8:41 PM

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