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Bobby's World
Sometimes, somebody in this world says everything you want to say, but just a little bit better than how you've ever phrased it before.
I came across the following message in a yahoogroup that I participate in. I asked his permission to repost it, and he said yes.
Though it's part of a larger conversation, the message should still resonate.
--Rashid
Let's investigate "proclaim."
You say that you'll never understand those who wish to proclaim their sex and sexuality to the world. I assume that you mean homosexuals based on the "equal rights" comment, but I think that heterosexuals proclaim their sex and sexuality every moment of the day. They hold hands in public. They kiss in public. They have public weddings. They go out in public with their children (products of their sexual activity). While they aren't fucking in the streets (neither are most gay people I know), I think they are certainly proclaiming who they are sexually and with whom they are sexually involved by these arguably benign actions.
Why, then, is it a matter of "privacy" when it comes to homosexuality?
Why is it that when two men (or two women) hold hands in public, kiss in public, have their equivalent of public weddings, or go out in public with their children, it automatically becomes an issue of proclamation or flaunting or bringing "private issues" into the public discourse? When has heterosexuality (and everything it encompasses) ever been a private matter? Why, then, must homosexuality be one?
My guess is that heterosexuals and homosexuals alike have a deep-seated, socially-induced belief that homosexuality is wrong, shameful, abominable, ungodly, disgusting, despicable (no matter how natural it feels or how fulfilling it may be for the parties involved) and thus there is an (often unspoken) arrangement between homosexuals and society (and homosexuals and themselves)--if they must be gay, they should at the very least: keep it to themselves; not put their business in the street; not discuss something so unseemly; not expose their degeneracy to children; hide it so that they won't be the target of hatred and violence. And I think that very many homosexuals accept the arrangement because they feel it's the easiest thing to do. I can't blame them, but I also can't let them off the hook.
In my estimation, "I want to keep my sexuality private" is coded language for "I'm scared of people finding out that I'm gay." Overwhelming (and in my opinion, erroneous) religious dogma has convinced a sizeable number of people, certainly the majority of people, that homosexuality is deviant (with all the negative connotations that come along with that). That would explain why when "Nancy" in the office announces her engagement to "Dick" (puns intended), her friends throw her a wedding shower. But, when "Dais" announces his "engagement" to "Taquan," his co-workers wonder why he has to force his "lifestyle" on everyone.
While some homosexuals attempt to mask their fear of being discovered with "privacy" (i.e. DL, faux heterosexuality, homophobia and silence), others refuse to let society make them hate themselves to such a degree, and they PROCLAIM who they are come what may.
So, to answer an inquiry (that I'm almost certain was rhetorical) regarding why some gays feel obligated to proclaim their sexual identity to the world: one possible reason could be because they refuse to let the world trample over Who They Truly Are; they refuse to be beaten into submission by a largely misogynist, heterosexist, hyper-fanatical, pseudo-religious, homophobic global society.
Bobby
http://www.myspace.com/bob_eakanatturner
Posted by Rashid on March 23, 2006 7:18 AM