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Traffic

I am blogging from a cab. Not quite 'stuck' in traffic, but also not moving very quickly. It isn't too hot yet, but it's not cool.

I am missing Adrian Fenty, who is out politicking at the metro station near where I work. My employee/friend called and told me. awwww i'm sad.

however, I have a young cab driver who has the radio pumping a niiiice jam. I think its mariah carey and snoop. sounds like a Prince sample, so its probably a neptunes track.

god I love them.

I also love my friend and former coworker. he really is in tune withme emotionally, without being anything like me. he called me last night -- I was already asleep -- to make sure everything was okay with me and the job.

(sidebar - it feels like I have been working a lotttt longer than two and a half months.)

so I listen to his message and its really sweet. its great having a guy like him in my life: genuine, loyal, caring, kind, intelligent.

his wife is cool as hell also! she and I are really similar in temperament. they're the first couple I have befriended.

well I'm almost at work now. everybody have a great day and weekend.

Posted by Rashid on June 30, 2006 at 9:11 AM | Comments (1)

How can I not love this?

Aesthetically a woman...athletically a man.

Yeah....I might not understand it....but the shit is dope! It's like gay capoeira!

Posted by Rashid on June 27, 2006 at 9:44 PM | Comments (6)

Post birthday.....first day of summer school

Well, I can't type much..... I am sorta running late and I'm nervous about work! Well, not mentally -- but physically, my stomach tells another story. My biggest concern is the one familiar to anyone who has worked with kids before....

TRANSITIONS!

Ugh....

But I did want to say that I had a phenomenal birthday!!!! Had mexican food and a drink followed by a talent show on Friday night. Followed by a drink at Alero on U Street. Then went shopping on Saturday, ran into Professor Velez. Had dinner at Yenching Palace with some of my best friendsm then went down to Georgetown for another drink.

Drink tally:

Friday: Strawberry Daquiri
Friday: White Sangria
Saturday: Sex on the Beach
Saturday: Amaretto Sour

My favorite was Sex on the Beach....the Amaretto Sour was the Tombs was mad watered down. All the other drinks were perfect!

Pictures are in the gallery.

PEACE!

And thanks to everyone who offered me birthday greetings this weekend!

Posted by Rashid on June 26, 2006 at 7:13 AM | Comments (0)

She busted her ass!!!!

Happy birthday to me! Thanks for the clip, Antonio!!!!

Posted by Rashid on June 25, 2006 at 9:06 AM | Comments (1)

Two Things (From 5-MB-05)

Two Names You Go By:
1. Rashid
2. Mr. Darden

Two Parts of Your Heritage:
1. African American
2. White

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. t-shirt
2. cut off sweatpants

Two Things You Would Want in a Relationship:
1. Loyalty
2. Security

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Reading
2. Writing

Two Things You Want Really Badly At The Moment:
1. Love
2. Mo Money

Two pets you had/have:
1. Maxwell the cat
2. Laila the cat

Two people who will fill this out:
1. Valerie
2. I dunno

Two things you did last night:
1. Worked late
2. Showed off my camera

Two People that live in your house:
1. Maxwell
2. Laila

Two things you ate today:
1. Nothing yet, I just woke up
2.

Two people you Last Talked To:
1. Mom
2. Stepfather

Two Things You're doing tomorrow:
1. Birthday dinner!
2. Hopefully getting my hair did

Two longest car rides:
1. South Carolina
2. Pennsylvania (All other times I bussed, trained, or flew)

Two Favorite Holidays:
1. Halloween
2. Christmas

Two Things You Can't Live Without:
1. My computer
2. Pen and paper

Two Things You Hate:
1. Men LOL
2. Bronchitis

Two Things You Love/Like:
1. History
2. Romance

Two Favorite Seasons:
1. Winter
2. Fall

Posted by Rashid on June 23, 2006 at 6:18 AM | Comments (0)

B.More.Careful

So.....

A good deal of people I work with know about my website and my blog. Well, no shit, I write books, I promote books, they just better know about it, right? That's not a problem. It's also flattering that they find my blog to be interesting. Sure, I feel nekkid at times because I know they know when I'm having man issues. lol. But hey, I've never been an extremely private person.

Except, of course, when it comes to blogging ABOUT work. I had looser lips previously when I was subbing. And being fairly confident that the school system I worked for didn't really care too much about whether employees were blogging. I mean hell, it's not like any school system has trade secrets.

BUT....I gotta say this.... I have people in my life who do make some unwise decisions mixing the internet with their work lives!

One of my boys, and I mean my ACE BOON COON going ten years strong....why did he blog about illegal activity he's engaged in? I was like noooooooo not with your real picture, real name, and real place of business!!!! *smh*

But you can't tell niggas nothin......

Another homie....he decided to past a series of pictures on his site about how he goofs off at work. Funny? SURE! Very witty. But not when the name of where you work is promininently shown in one of the pics.

People, bloggers have been straight up fired for blogging either at work or about work or both. I am lucky enough that I don't have to hide who I am inside or outside the job. But please ma'am and please sir.....exercise some discretion. Unless you have a product to sell, people don't need to know everythang.

Posted by Rashid on June 22, 2006 at 9:11 PM | Comments (1)

Challenges

There's a thin line between stepping back and giving up.

I feel like giving up.

***

This goes far beyond the situation with the last dude. By the way, the general concensus is that he sucks. I, for one, don't really have an opinion of him. I expected a whole lot more than what I'm getting. I expected for someone who wants to just be friends to stay in touch.

But I don't really care anymore. I can't expect too much of anything from the men I am interested in.

No, this goes far beyond him.....this goes back to the one who implied that there was something wrong with me if this always happens to me.

***

It's over. Curtains. Quits. I give up.

There's nothing left for me to do. Seriously. Someone today told me that they found themselves in a similar situation to mine and when they simply "stepped back" and focused on themselves, that's when love found them.

My response was a thank you for the advice. And I did appreciate his story. But what a lot of people don't realize is that I do step back. And when I step back, I do it big! Like, when I wrote Lazarus, I was celibate for seven months!

If I step back now, what would be the point? I've retreated so many times and (honestly) come out stronger afterwards. But no matter how strong one gets, rejection after rejection still hurts like shit.

I take the shit personally because it personally happens to me.

***

I was feeding the cats today and wondered if my lot in life was to write books and take care of children and that's it. Like I wasn't made to receive the type of relationship that I seek.

I don't think it's selfish to want more even after knowing and acknowledging that I have a good life. Great friends. A wonderful family. And gifts from God in writing and working with children.

But what if that's all there is? I'm starting to think so.

Don't email me about this please. The comments are off for a reason.

Posted by Rashid on June 21, 2006 at 7:47 PM

Good or Bad Hair

Posted by Rashid on at 2:14 PM | Comments (0)

Confused

I just don't understand people.

It's been nearly two weeks (I think) since I last heard from the most recent person I've been talking to. Called him last night leaving a last ditch effort message acknowledging that I knew his phone was acting up (that's what he said last time I talked to him) and that I knew he was going out of town for a while.

But I mean damn.... not even an email? I can understand not texting if your phone is acting up. I am a really understanding type of person, especially if it's someone I care about.

This morning I wake up and get a request to join his yahoo 360 network....which I do....and then I peep the blog entries from a week ago today.

Why, oh why, did I do that? They only leave me with a lot of questions with a generous helping of disappointment.

When you read someone else's blog, especially someone you're getting to know, you ask yourself "Is that me?" You assume that they're talking about you, then you shame yourself for being presumptuous. (I guess that's a taste of my own medicine.)

I guess what I really want to say is that I was really feeling this dude, and it sucks to read (and to know) that once again, the dude I want is unwilling or unable to move forward in the way that I want to.

It doesn't help that his most recent entry didn't seem to be about me at all, LOL......

I could be misinterpreting this WHOLE thing. I acknowledge that.

But it doesn't help that I haven't spoken to him in so long.

I feel like someone who wanted me would find a way.

I need....I need....I need.....it feels like such a selfish statement, but I do have needs that it seems I can never get satisfied.

I need someone to love me. I need someone to come home to, at least figuratively. I need someone I can depend on. I need someone who will tell me he loves me. I need someone who will massage my back. I need someone who will respond favorably to the romance that I bring.

I don't know why all this is hitting me so hard this morning. Maybe because I was already feeling sick and this didn't help much.

I want someone who will care and communicate....care how I feel. Care what I will think. Communicate with me....help me understand what's going on.

I am not trying to levy all of this responsibility on him per se, but I am trying to identify the things I need and have needed through the years that have led to this ultimate point of feeling empty inside. I never felt this empty before recently...very much alone at the end of the day.

It just seems like collectively, the dudes that I fall for can be in relationship to relationship, but when it comes to me they wise up and say they're not ready to be in a relationship, they're not ready to be in another relationship, they're not ready to be in a relationship with me.....etcetera, etcetera.

And he'll probably read this and be convinced that I wasn't the one after all...will be relieved that he found that I was crazy before it was too late....

Posted by Rashid on June 19, 2006 at 6:06 AM

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all my people who are fathers, including The Golden Child, WarGames06, FratMan1906, nupe4life, Animal, Smooth Criminal.....wow, all but one are Alphas. Are we especially potent or something?

Anyway, special shout outs also to my male mentors who have given me fatherly advice over the years.

Posted by Rashid on June 18, 2006 at 10:10 AM | Comments (2)

Lady V and Astrology

So I was talking to Lady Vengeance tonight (like, just now) and she is one of my best friends and a fellow Cancer. Our conversation inspired to to re-read parts of The Only Astrology Book You'll Ever Need by Joanna Martine Woolfolk.

As anybody who reads this knows, shit just doesn't work out for me in the romance department.

Let me back up for a moment -- you know that I don't write everything in this here diary, and that sometimes I'll just post something that is hella random but means a lot to me at the time.

That Mary L. Blige song I posted a few weeks ago....that wasn't me saying "Hey, I found my everything" literally..... I just wanted to repost the song that came on when I kissed a dude that previous day. Yeah that's extra, that's TMI, but I just wanted to be clear. If you sit and read all my Sex and Romance entries, it will probably look like I fall in love as often as some people sneeze. The real deal might be very similar to that, but not quite identical.

Back to astrology....when I meet a dude who is of an incompatible sign, I give him a chance anyway. Yeah, I am a believer in astrology, but I also believe that two people can work any difference out if they really want to.

But.... maybe I should listen to astrology more often? Last dude I was interested in is an Aries. This book says "These two may start out like a house on fire, but it won't take long for the fire to burn out."

Seems that way, doesn't it? I haven't heard from dude in like a week or more now. I'm not sad....just wondering what happened. I ain't chasin' after no nigga, ever.

One of the great loves of my life (so far) is an Aquarius...."Cancer needs to feel close and secure; Aquarius is a lone wolf." To this day, he's still like that....when we're together, we're tighter than panty hose two sizes small. But it doesn't take long for him to go off on a "speaking engagement" as my mom might say, and next time I hear from him he's in yet another foreign country.

I can see these things coming from a mile away now. If I could, I would just round up all the eligible Tauruses, Virgos, Scorpios, and Pisces and read them page 66 of this book.

How to attract a Cancer.....

All you have to do to attract a Cancer is to be just slightly less crazy than he is and the battle is half-won.

Posted by Rashid on June 17, 2006 at 9:49 PM | Comments (2)

Random 12

Once again, 12 songs that came up on my media player when I hit "Shuffle." I have taken out no songs to protect my rep, lol -- these are what would have normally played anyway.

Without You, Kelly Clarkson (live American Idol performance)
Purple Rain (live cover), Ween
Winelight, Grover Washington, Jr.
Mo Money Mo Problems, Biggie
He Was a Friend of Mine, Brokeback Mountain Soundtrack
Get Busy (funkymix), Sean Paul
Misty, Chuck Brown
Natural Woman, Aretha Franklin
Best of House 5, some sort of track I got from Frat that includes "Finally it has happened to me" and "Everybody Everybody"
Black and White Life Styles, Richard Pryor
Take the Whole World With Me, Eminem ft Bizarre & Pacewon

Posted by Rashid on June 15, 2006 at 9:38 PM | Comments (0)

The One

"He has the most cash on hand -- over a million dollars, and he's turned in the most signatures, and he has the most lawn signs. With three months to go, he is in very strong shape. I think it's fair to call him the front runner," Plotkin says. --Mark Seagraves, WTOP Radio

Who is he?

My next new Mayor, Adrian Fenty. (Pictured with my next first lady, Michelle Fenty. Check him out at www.fenty06.com/

And if you're a DC resident -- vote!

Posted by Rashid on June 14, 2006 at 5:35 AM | Comments (0)

this is hot

so I am blogging from my phone. wow. just standing here, waiting for my ride to work, chillin like a mug.

omg I can't believe these reprobates on the road are passing the school bus. you can't do that shit! I mean, the bus had all the flashing lights and the stop sign out and everything. shit like that makes me mad.

at any rate....work is going really well. its a lot of...work... but it suits me well. I get to work with kids as well as college students. what freaks me out.... of the 16 college students I supervise, only ONE is 21! that shit is insane. they are really cool though, and generally about business.

aight...time to be cordial...enjoy the day!

Posted by Rashid on June 13, 2006 at 7:23 AM

50 Questions (From Erika)

1. Where were you 3 hours ago?
At home eating dinner.

2. Who are you in love with?
I'm not in love right now but I would love to be.

3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?
Eeeeewwwww never.

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
I looked....no.

5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
Hmmmm.... it's been a long time since I was in an actual mall.

7. Do you have a car worth over $2,000?
No.

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
Wow.....I've taken the train or flown the past few years, lol.

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
No.

10. Are you hot?
You be the judge.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
One of those flavored seltzer water things.

12. What are you wearing right now?
A t-shirt and my red draws.

13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?
What car?

14. Last food that you ate?
Peanut Brittle (just a little!)

15. Where were you last week at this time?
I was asleep in my bed.

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
I bought a long sleeved t-shirt today!

17. When is the last time you ran?
I've probably run at site a few times this week.

18. What's the last sporting event you watched?
I feel like I watched a smidge of track and field last week?

19. What is your favorite animal?
Domestic cats.

20. Your dream vacation?
Anywhere with the man I love and unlimited cash, lol.

21. Last person's house you were in?
Before the one I'm currently in, I think I was last in my grandmother's house.

22. How old are your parents?
mid fifties

23. Have you been in love?
Yes.

24. Do you miss anyone right now?
I miss my new friend.....

25. Last play you saw?
Damn....a play, eh? Been a LONG time.

27.What are your plans for tonight?
Sleep....very very soon.

28. Who is the last person you sent a myspace message or comment to?
Delishia.

29. Next trip you are going to take?
Most likely Atlanta for Labor Day weekend.

30. Ever go camping?
Hell no...not my thing.

31. Were you an honor roll student in school?
Yeah, off and on.

32. What do you want to know about the future?
If I'll become a father.

33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
Not right now.

34. Are you due sometime this year for a doctor's visit?
Yeah.

35. Where is your best friend(s)?
I don't have a single best frien....but all my close friends are accounted for.

36. who is your best friend?
Several....

37. Do you have a tan?
Yeah, a genetic one.

38. What are you listening to right now?
Local news on TV.

39. Do you collect anything?
Yeah. LOL

40. Who is the biggest gossiper you know?
Everybody I know is "newsy."

41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?
Never.

42. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
I use straws all the time.

43. What does your last text message say?
"lol"

44. Do you like hot sauce?
It's aight.

45. Last time you took a shower?
This morning.

46. Do you need to do laundry?
Yes.

47. What is your heritage?
Except for the one eighth "other" I am black.

48. Are you someone's best friend?
Perhaps.

49. Are you rich?
Hardly.

50. What do you think of the person who took this survey before you? Erika is cool as hell. Wish she was in DC!

Posted by Rashid on June 9, 2006 at 11:43 PM | Comments (0)

*sleep*

I think I am about seven miles past exhausted now.

Best quote of the day: "It's Wednesday."

I swear I am PLEDGIN', yo.

Gettin to know the best and worst of everybody on the team.

Wait....this REALLY does feel like pledging.

!

Do people who work for the government feel like this? LOL

My feet just stay hurt, though.

Aight, I need to sleep, cuz now my pledging flashbacks are mingling with my work thoughts, lolol

Posted by Rashid on June 5, 2006 at 10:06 PM | Comments (1)

Fonzie The Clown Charged With Sex Abuse!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!!! This is for the Uptown DC heads!

The report comes from WUSA, Channel 9 in DC:

Fonzie the Clown has been charged with sexually abusing an employee. The well-known kids' character, whose real name is Alphonso Pittman, was arrested at his clown offices in Northwest Washington.

According to 9 News reporter Bruce Leshan, the charge is a misdemeanor and the allegation is that Pittman, 44, inappropriately touched an employe, who is an adult. Court records show that Pittman has been charged several times child sex abuse and sexual assault, but he’s been acquitted each time.

On his website, Pittman says he’s been clowning professionally since 1980 and trained with Ringling Brothers and Barnum, Bailey Circus in 1981.

He says he holds bachelors and master’s degrees in mental health and counseling and is currently studying child psychology at George Washington University. He also taught in DC public schools from 1983 to 1989.

Ironically, he writes that he’s been called to lecture about motivation and positive work relationships.

****

I am sitting here like WHOA.

Posted by Rashid on June 1, 2006 at 11:10 PM | Comments (0)