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Things I still don't understand about Greek life....

So, I know a really artsy craftsy type of Nupe -- VERY talented, like Martha Stewart caliber. I was on his facebook album looking at the fine craftsmanship, and then saw the para table that his chapter had during an informational. If you ever been to an informational, they usually have some sort of table set up with the org's afghan, maybe a history book, canes if it's Kappas, paddles for everyone else, a brick, a stuffed animal, etc. basically a mini shrine.

And it got me to wondering..... I don't really "get" why our orgs do this. I mean...we fill up tables with things that aspirants really shouldn't touch. Ya know?

Hell, I even know of some sororities that would glare at you if you ate the pink/green/red/white/blue/gold part of the cake, or drank the wrong color punch at the informational.

Seems to me like the stuff at the informational should be about the chapter....exhibits documenting the service projects.... photo albums of the fellowship. You know, stuff like that.

Leave the brick at home if you can't talk about it.... leave the paddles if they can't be touched.

Just observations....

***

It also ticks me off when people act like it's a PRIVILEGE to learn their "history"..... dude, everybody's history book can be found somewhere. In fact, every Alpha I knew before I crossed let me hold, touch, skim, read their history book WAY before I ever was interested in the frat. To see Brothers NOW act like it's ritual information really tickle me.

The older the orgs get, the more backwards traditions seem.

Once up a time, the orgs had no history and we just tapped who we wanted to be brothers. You earned membership by your work as a man and as a student....there was no "proving" yourself to your peers.

*sigh*

Just observations.

Posted by Rashid on August 29, 2006 at 6:44 PM | Comments (0)

why do people do this?

ringring

Me: Rashid Darden. (I'm at work)
He: Hey, wassup.
Me: Nothing...who is this?
He: This is the man that shoulda been yo daddy.
Me: Whaaaaaaa?????

So it was actually this cat I was/am/usedtocouldgetitsomewhatstill feeling. But he has his own live in boyfriend. Anyway, he called me at my job to tell me I was on his mind.

UGH, don dooo dat! (And you gotta say it like secong grader would)

I'ma need you to send me emails or IMs....but when you got a man, don't call me homie...not at work....you know what the deal is. It needs to be as easy as possible for us to be friends, and I can't do that if I am hatin' on your man.

Ya dig?

Was talking to frat about an unrelated situation and he challenged me to keep holding out until I found "the one"...that person that makes me feel butterflies. And I was like "Well what if it's just gas?" lol

But then he very logically said that I HAD to wait for "the one" because what if I settle and then "The one" comes along?

I was like damn, true.

Soon after that, I told him that the "ones" for me have always been really talented, really brilliant men. Like, ultra uber talented people. So much so that recently, I decided that it must be talent that I am attracted to moreso than....well, let's say that talent plus looks equals a smitten Rah-Rah.

I look back on the great loves i've had (whether reciprocated or not) and I see that they either were already on top of their game or had extraordinary potential to be such.

So yeah, that means my standards are very high. It also may mean that my current environment isn't conducive to meeting a lot of people like that.

Take for example last month....I was told that a lot of folks (at an event I attended) were "afraid" to talk to me. I was like are you serious, why? And apparently it's because I wrote a book.....I am like are you kidding me? I wrote a book to GET a man, not scare them away!!!! LOL jk

But it's interesting. I guess it means I'm looking for someone with confidence on top of everything else.

Confidence is exactly what my mystery caller has, on top of sex appeal, a good heart, etc. He just also happens to have a live-in boyfriend.

So, whatever. I'm not one of THOSE men who chases other people men. That's not a good look for anyone.

Still waiting, still searching. Going to the movies today with a new buddy. Not expecting anything but a movie. :-)

Posted by Rashid on August 26, 2006 at 6:14 AM | Comments (0)

A very brief IM conversation about my old job

Rashid: are the mean black ladies still in payroll?

Old Work Friend: nope - now we have different mean black ladies

Posted by Rashid on August 23, 2006 at 7:55 PM | Comments (0)

Goals

So.....

I've been thinking a lot about my future.

NO, I am not quitting my job. I happen to really enjoy my job, thank you very much!

I've been thinking moreso about one, two, five, ten years down the line. How will my professional (non-profit) goals line up with my literary goals? How will those two things line up with both sets of fraternal goals (APO and APhiA)?

And what will my personal life look like when my professional goals come to pass?

I'm pushing 30 now -- just under three years away. I have definitely made some moves already. Scoring the job that I currently have was exactly what I needed to catapult me from paraprofessional to professional. Now I'm doing things to ensure that the work I am doing now is a solid foundation for the future.

Unfortunately, it's caused my literary work to suffer. Not drastically -- but I am not devoting the time I used to devote toward this work. I do know that eventually it will all balance out.

I have a lot of travel scheduled for 2007. I'm really excited, especially now because since I have a REAL job, I can actually afford to travel independent of book sales. (Well, at least it appears that way.)

Oh yeah...... I bought me a laptop. It arrived yesterday. A Dell. It's kinda hot, but I took for granted the fact that it took YEARS for me to create the ideal desktop computer, lol. Even down to the codecs I downloaded on my desktop so I could listen to certain music and video files.

What else has been going on.... oh yeah, last week was quite hellish emotionally. I had ups and downs like they were going out of style. And just when I got over one thing, something else would happen to make me go under again.

I finally broke out of the funk when I spoke to SMYAL on Saturday....it was for the BUILD program for young men of color. HOT. I have a lot of new respect for SMYAL now that i know the work they're doing for gay and bi boys of color. God bless em.

I gave each of the participants a copy of LAZARUS in hopes that it would inspire them in some way. I totally had my first Oprah moment and loved it!!!!

(Not counting the time I gave away toothpaste to first graders and they all screamed like the won the lottery.)

Posted by Rashid on August 22, 2006 at 9:07 PM | Comments (0)

I'm sorry, but....

I'm sorry, but...I still don't like Madea movies. I tried....they're just not funny to me.

I'm sorry, but....Kristoff St. John could get it.

I'm sorry, but....I like Da Backwudz.

I'm sorry, but....Terrell Owens' body makes me forget that he is supposed to be a jerk.

I'm sorry, but...I'm glad Days of Our Lives is axing so many actors. Sorry Jack and Jennifer, but I'll get over you.

I'm sorry, but...I HAD to get The Wire (Season Three) on DVD this week. Yes, I used my Borders personal shopping day AND a coupon.

I'm sorry, but...I just don't really use my blog for social justice. It's more of a personal outlet.

I'm sorry, but....Adrian Fenty is gonna win the mayoral election whether you like it or not. Marie Johns should run for Congress.

I'm sorry, but.... I love my A Phi.

I'm sorry, but...yes, I do google people I meet for the first time.

I'm sorry, but....reruns of MadTV make me laugh out loud.

I'm sorry, but...this damn Jackie Collins novel is way too long. But I'm still reading it.

I'm sorry, but... if you're expecting me to mention your novel in my blog because the black gay community shows you no love....well...don't hold your breath.

I'm sorry, but that doesn't mean I can't be bought, LOL.

I'm sorry, but even though I don't have a truck, I strongly recommend you get your hitch covers from www.coverthehitch.com

I'm sorry. lol

Posted by Rashid on August 20, 2006 at 11:05 AM | Comments (3)

Test

test

Posted by Liz on August 19, 2006 at 12:58 AM | Comments (0)

Marlena's Possession

Fred...thank you SO MUCH for showing me these clips! The one above was the start of the infamous possession storyline on Days of Our Lives. LOVED IT!!!!!

Posted by Rashid on August 16, 2006 at 7:13 PM

Random 12

Haven't done one of these in a while....these are 12 songs that randomly are playing in my Windows Media Player when I click the "shuffle" button. These are the ACTUAL songs -- I have not altered their order or deleted any songs because they are embarassing.

Song, Artist:

Backstabber, Eminem
El Tejano, Cowboy Troy
Frankenstein, Richard Pryor
Can't Keep a Good Man Down (Track 17 from a random reggae playlist from Brod)
Bang Your Head, Quiet Riot
Independent School Women, Busted vs Destiny's Child
Rock Box, Run-DMC
Y-nots Losing, Madaline Bell
Can'tneverdidnothin', Nikka Costa
Cry For You, Jodeci
Milkshake (Remix), Kelis
Kronik, Lil Kim ft Snoop Dogg

Posted by Rashid on August 15, 2006 at 9:01 PM

intimate moments

ugh. in another mood.

I was talking to an online friend of mine on the topic of putting a dude behind you once and for all. and I told her all I really knew about was time and distance.

lord knows.....I still love the man I knew last fall. no matter what was said, no matter how hurt I ever felt, and no matter what I said in reaction to anything that..... I still love him.

he doesn't love me though. positive of that.

intimacy is a blessing, and there were some couples on showtime that were making my heart ache. like damn, will I ever have that? like, in my twenties?

then.... just got off the phone with montre, who is straight, but was mentioning how there seems to be so few gay black relationship role models, and how gay black relationships don't last.

sigh. although I did talk to him about how I have seen successful gay black relationships, it was the lack of visibility that was the problem.

alas.... I still felt sad.

I'm giving up on this entry cuz I'm so tired

Posted by Rashid on August 14, 2006 at 1:05 AM

It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

Posted by Rashid on August 9, 2006 at 7:12 AM | Comments (1)

no call

well, no call today. I didn't obsess over it though.

(you may notice that I am blogging more often. shit's a lot less hectic at work.)

I reckon there's nothing much to add. diddy, I really appreciated your comments. I never really viewed myself as having balls in this particular situation, but I guess I have to have that if I ever want to be happy.

later for now.

Posted by Rashid on August 8, 2006 at 10:30 PM | Comments (1)

i am a punk

so I talked to my girl today, and explained to her the situation with home skillet, who, thanks to her, will henceforth and forever be known as LIVIN LEGEND or just LEGEND for the purposes of this blog.

I was sooooo scurred to call him! I mean, calling somebody's job to ask them out....sheesh. but as my mom said, when I explained the situation to her, "aww what tha hell!" and basically that I should just do the damn thing and ask him out.

but of course, when I called, he wasn't there. well, that's because my dumb ass waited until quarter to six to do so.

d'oh!

so I left a message asking him to call me when he got a chance. if I don't hear from him in two days, then I will send a follow-up email. after that, its done.

but yo, my hand was seriously shaking when I made that call!

it goes back to being attracted to extremely talented men. on some level, they intimidate me. oh yes, i'll make the phone call, ask them out, and have a great time. but I will be shitting bricks the whole time.

so yeah....livin legend....we'll see.

Posted by Rashid on August 7, 2006 at 6:13 PM | Comments (2)

The Queernet

So last night I got online and started telling Diddy about this guy I met. The problem is not trying to determine whether the guy is gay (which is usually my number one obstacle -- blasted straight dudes!) but moreso trying to determine whether he is involved with anyone.

It's a tricky situation. It's not like dude is your average mail carrier or bus driver. It's kinda important that I find out as much as reasonably possible before I step to him. There could be consequences and repercussions if this isn't handled delicately.

So I tell Diddy these things (and more) and he's telling me to use the Queernet. Which is basically another word meaning "ask the gay folks you know -- ONE of them must know him."

And ordinarily, this usually works. I've never really knowingly and aggressively used my Queernet....it just sorta happened that somebody knew somebody who knew somebody. Happened quite a lot last year among the gay black blogger boys. Happened an awful lot (and still happens) when it comes to the Principal. (I don't know if I ever had a code name for him.) In fact, at Convention, somebody told me they knew his best friends. I was like damn....and the next day, he emailed me. That was crazy. I still kinda love him. That sucks.

But I digress.

Bus how the dude I'm trying to get to know isn't even a blip on my Queernet? I am like WTF?

So I am like gonna have to figure out a way to ask him out. That's insane, what am I, like 15? Ugh!

lol

Like I said, it's a delicate situation....

He's cute to me. Slim (they always are, aren't they?)....kinda light skinned. Well, he's lighter than me, which means he's just plain light skinned.

My weakness, as I think I stated within the past few weeks, is really talented men. Like for real, look back on my greatest loves, so to speak, and they are really all high caliber, high quality. And if they weren't at the top of their game, they had that potential. Even dude I went on a date with in January.... degree from a Big East school, in grad school, Greek.... I coulda overlooked the physical imperfections if he wasn't argumentative for no damn reason.

On a related note, so me and one of my soror/friends were talking about relationships and whatnot....actually, this also relates to a conversation I had with a frat during convention....

People really kill me talking about how long it's been since they've had any ass....and it's like two weeks. WTF???? Gimme a break....the last time I had any lovin', I'm sure Another World was still on the air. LOL jk.....but it has been a very long time.

("No wonder he's always in a bad mood" some of my coworkers might say....lol)

Adam4Adam..... been A4A free for a minute now and I don't miss it. For the first month, it was kinda like "Damn, I'd like to see where the boys are...." but now it's like ho-hum, whatever.

Even though I felt some kind of way about not getting any attention when I was in a few situations where I could and should have gotten some. Imagine going to a club (ladies and gay men) and you have brought your A game, and like nothing happens. Nada.

I was in that situation very recently and it's like damn.... I haven't felt better about myself in months, yet for whatever reason, that's not translating to more attention.

Which is cool. Just...strange.

Somebody told me (and I don't know how I feel about this if it's true) that people weren't approaching me because of who I was. Not that I am famous, but I guess I am known among certain circles. *shrug* I just write books. I'm still Rah-Rah.

But back to the Queernet..... hoping to cast my Queernet wider this weekend and find out if Home Skillet has a man. What his story is. Etc.

Posted by Rashid on August 5, 2006 at 5:34 PM | Comments (0)