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the knot inside me grows

the knot inside me grows
the more i know
i like you
but you have a man

who certainly understands why i would
because
well
look at you

you might not see what i do, but
trust
when i say that you are beautiful
i choose words carefully
and unveil them like new treasures

you know me…okay
so far
i want to know you better because
the knot inside my stomach grows the more i know
that i could really really love you
but you’re not leaving him any time soon
and
i
am not
going
to cry
even as poetry man plays

and i split inside myself once
i am half
and each half is half
and each half is half
and i am decimated into a trillion tear sized pieces of myself
because i am not that kind of man

you are his
yet you run your fingers through my hair
the last time someone did that
i was a fetish
and i shaved myself so it wouldn’t happen again
but you reached
and you caressed
and i allowed
and i touched
and i caressed
and i knew i was wrong

but i see you and my heart decides not to talk to my mind about this situation
because my mind has turned into a puddle of pieces of a mind
because i was a wreck last night
and cried and cried and cried
until i wasn’t even myself anymore
i was a dream
a dream that you threw a pillow and a blanket at me and gave me your couch
yet i still didn’t know if your man was at home
so i woke
and crept
and stared at your body while you slept
and i didn’t see him
but i didn’t see me either
i was in the shadows
waiting
fucking longing

and the knot inside my motherfuckin stomach grows the more i motherfuckin know
that i love you
even as poetry man plays
i won’t let you see a single goddamn tear
even though i’d kill to have you near
around
inside
my tears create the rolling tide

Posted by Rashid on October 8, 2006 1:33 PM

Comments

wowzers

Commented by Montre on October 12, 2006 5:09 PM

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