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Walking Away

A few weeks ago, I requested 2.5 days off because I was invited to be the keynote speaker for National Coming Out Week observances at Ohio University. I was set to address the NPHC on the Tuesday night after Columbus Day and the campus as a whole that Wednesday night.

I should have submitted the leave request earlier. However, my job does not have any stated policy on how far in advance one must request leave. So, I figured a week in advance for 2.5 days should be adequate.

My supervisor denied the request. He said we were "short staffed" -- which is insane because the one chick who is getting married and taking two weeks off has NOTHING to do with my 2.5 days. [Note: I was a Site Director for an after school program. The absence of a Site Director in one place does not have anything to do with my school on the other side of the city.]

I asked him to reconsider because speaking at these events was VERY important to me, and I would hate to be forced to choose between the job and the opportunity to speak at OU. He asked me then if I was not given the days off, was I saying that I would resign? I said yes. He agreed to reconsider and said he'd get back to me the next day.

I knew then that if my supervisor had to "think about it" -- whether I was worth the 2.5 days -- then I would be saying goodbye to the job. But all of my friends and family swore that one man couldn't be that stupid. "You'll get the days off," they said. "Nobody is going to be dumb enough to deny the request and then spend weeks trying to find another Site Director."

They didn't know the inanity of my job as well as I did. I knew I'd be leaving.

The next day, he said that the best he could do was let me have ONE DAY off.

ONE DAY, yet I would be speaking for two nights. Not to mention the LGBT office at OU had arranged all of these lunches and dinners with faculty members, directors, and student groups -- treating me like a celebrity! Not because I am "famous" but because they wanted to make sure my time there was well spent.

I asked him a final time "You do realize this is an out-of-state trip, right?" And he said yes, and that I would have to come back a day early or rearrange my schedule to make it work.

"You have to understand," he said (which is ironically one of his favorite phrases) "that we're very busy and short-staffed around here." Etc, etc, blah blah blah, [insert bullshit that doesn't apply to Rashid Darden]

So I told him that I found his offer of one day to be unacceptable and that I was resigning, effective that day.

He stuttered a bit and finally said to me "So we don't even get two week's notice?"

I said "No. But thank you for the opportunity to work here."

So that was that.

It was a great six months. I did a lot to improve my site's reputation at my school. I revived the volunteer corps from Georgetown. I "got those kids straight" as some of the teachers at my site said. I basically kicked ass for six months and my bosses chose to throw it away over 2.5 days of leave -- THAT I HAD TO USE. Not like I asked them for extra, lol.

This change allows me to focus on the final weeks of getting my second novel out and move full speed ahead with doing more things like my lectures at Ohio.

Now, to answer the inevitable quetions:

So what do I do next? Duh, weren't you listening? I WRITE BOOKS, BITCH! I will be spending my time writing and planning more lectures and workshops and creating more opportunities for myself. And of course, substitute teaching! I miss those kids and they miss me.

Luckily, I have a great support system of family and friends who believe in me. They know that I am a damned good author with options. A bright future. Success. A life outside of "work" that my supervisor didn't value or didn't understand.

And let me go ahead and put this out there, at the risk of sounding bitter. Aww hell, y'all know I am a bitter bitch anyway, lol.

I never once believed in my supervisor. I was hired by someone and supervised by her for about a week before her successor was announced. When he was announced, I was kinda like.....ummmmmm okay? But as the weeks and months went on, it became quite clear that he was in over his head. Even if he knew what he was doing, he looked like he didn't. He was a vegetable in crisis situations (ask me about the gas leak at my site), could never answer a question directly (You should ask so-and-so....you should ask such-and-such..... Rashid, to be honest, I really don't know....), and generally didn't do much to inspire us as Site Directors.

So I learned how to adapt without him early on. My site was strong -- yeah, I know my own shortcomings and I can't blame them all on the poor leadership examples I had. But we were strong nonetheless. To get back to the heart of the matter, 2.5 days off, when I had never asked for time off relating to my writing career, was a drop in the bucket. 2.5 days for a strong site that could run on its own if need be.

2.5 days was all it took for me to realize that while I am good at non-profit work, it is not my calling. As I said in my initial interview "Writing is what I was born to do; youth development is what I was led to do."

And now I gotta continue doing what's in my blood.

So that's the story. I hate to be negative with the stuff about my boss, but it wouldn't be an Old Gold Soul blog without the necessary nakedness of my emotions.

And that's all she wrote.

Posted by Rashid on October 20, 2006 2:09 PM

Comments

Commented by Shawn on October 20, 2006 2:57 PM

Commented by Mark on October 20, 2006 4:16 PM

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Commented by montre on October 21, 2006 3:47 PM

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