Oh, you want something to read?

Then read this, bitches.

I won't be taking the time to address the specifics of the situation that have caused the "epilogue" of this section of my blog. In fact, as even the least technical-minded of my readers may note, I haven't updated my blog in months.

Evidently though, my blog wasn't poppin' enough for several of the people who live in my community. So they took words I had written and ran with it.

My, how I wish I could say more.

I want the world to know that the unsinkable Rashid Darden is on top -- again -- and has weathered his most recent rainfall.

Yes bitches, a rainfall -- you weren't a storm.

If it wasn't clear in any other entry, I will make it plain: I loved being a teacher. I love children. I am one of the few gay men under 30 that I know who really wants a family.

I will never forget the first student who ever [i]asked[/i] to read to me. He wasn't the perfect reader at all, but he tried. And you know what? He is so good now. I don't claim that -- he had good teachers and a mother who he really admired and respected.

That's the crux of the crisis in the schools..... many children I worked with over the years had no one at home to respect. Sure, they loved them.... but when they looked at their parents, they did not see adults that they wanted to become.

And I don't blame them.

I have been the victim of a grassroots campaign of homophobia. Members of my community ignored the greatness that I provided to the students in the form of a positive male role model, a respectful and respectable Washingtonian, a Student Council Advisor, a tutor, a multicultural liaison... they ignored that because they read my blog and got offended.

Sure, I call the kids "little bastards" and "Satan's Little Helpers" in my blog. This blog was also never promoted or publicized to the children. Ask ANY child who ever asked me "Mr. Darden, what's your book about?" and they will say they don't know -- because I never told them. I respected their boundaries and the boundaries that their parents set for them -- homosexuality is not something I want children exposed to through MY novel for the first time. When they're teenagers, find the book in a store, and purchase it with their own money, then clearly they will be ready to deal with the issues.

But several irresponsible adults shared my blog with the children and rather giving them proper guidance, hyped up things I said and took them out of context. In addition, there was never proof that I was even telling the truth all of the time. I write novels for God's sake, not the news.

A discerning reader (as most of you are) would know that I never once disclosed the location of my job in this blog, nor did I ever publish names or addresses of students. But homophobia is deep and rampant in this community.....

Straight people have done far worse where I worked and gotten away with it.

Luckily, I believe in all that I have ever written in this blog and refuse to edit it. I have said some things that have changed my life, most for the better, some for the worse. There are people who I have hurt in this blog.

But for anything I said regarding the children I work with or their parents or the situations I found myself in that were sad, witty, horrible, and great -- I DO NOT APOLOGIZE.

The urban school systems are doomed to fail for several reasons -- the primary one being the irresponsible parenting that I have encountered. I can count on ONE HAND the parents or guardians who I really believe are doing their best. The rest.... well, smoking weed in the car with your child before school... that's normal behavior, right?

No punishment for your child calling a teacher a bitch or a faggot....that's normal, right?

Your child hitting a teacher....no punishment....that's normal, right?

Oh wait, those things should be enforced by the principal, right? Right. But we're not going to get into that -- I have no respect for a man or woman who would allow the type of witch hunt to occur to me. But then again, I couldn't respect someone who was handed a position rather than working for it anyway.

No respect. Urban school systems might fail with bad parenting, but they WILL fail with bad administration. I hope to never have the misfortune of working with anyone like that ever again. The stories I have in me could fill a book.

Hmmm..... a book....now there's an idea.....

Posted on August 21, 2007 at 7:56 PM | Comments (0)

Walking Away

A few weeks ago, I requested 2.5 days off because I was invited to be the keynote speaker for National Coming Out Week observances at Ohio University. I was set to address the NPHC on the Tuesday night after Columbus Day and the campus as a whole that Wednesday night.

I should have submitted the leave request earlier. However, my job does not have any stated policy on how far in advance one must request leave. So, I figured a week in advance for 2.5 days should be adequate.

My supervisor denied the request. He said we were "short staffed" -- which is insane because the one chick who is getting married and taking two weeks off has NOTHING to do with my 2.5 days. [Note: I was a Site Director for an after school program. The absence of a Site Director in one place does not have anything to do with my school on the other side of the city.]

I asked him to reconsider because speaking at these events was VERY important to me, and I would hate to be forced to choose between the job and the opportunity to speak at OU. He asked me then if I was not given the days off, was I saying that I would resign? I said yes. He agreed to reconsider and said he'd get back to me the next day.

I knew then that if my supervisor had to "think about it" -- whether I was worth the 2.5 days -- then I would be saying goodbye to the job. But all of my friends and family swore that one man couldn't be that stupid. "You'll get the days off," they said. "Nobody is going to be dumb enough to deny the request and then spend weeks trying to find another Site Director."

They didn't know the inanity of my job as well as I did. I knew I'd be leaving.

The next day, he said that the best he could do was let me have ONE DAY off.

ONE DAY, yet I would be speaking for two nights. Not to mention the LGBT office at OU had arranged all of these lunches and dinners with faculty members, directors, and student groups -- treating me like a celebrity! Not because I am "famous" but because they wanted to make sure my time there was well spent.

I asked him a final time "You do realize this is an out-of-state trip, right?" And he said yes, and that I would have to come back a day early or rearrange my schedule to make it work.

"You have to understand," he said (which is ironically one of his favorite phrases) "that we're very busy and short-staffed around here." Etc, etc, blah blah blah, [insert bullshit that doesn't apply to Rashid Darden]

So I told him that I found his offer of one day to be unacceptable and that I was resigning, effective that day.

He stuttered a bit and finally said to me "So we don't even get two week's notice?"

I said "No. But thank you for the opportunity to work here."

So that was that.

It was a great six months. I did a lot to improve my site's reputation at my school. I revived the volunteer corps from Georgetown. I "got those kids straight" as some of the teachers at my site said. I basically kicked ass for six months and my bosses chose to throw it away over 2.5 days of leave -- THAT I HAD TO USE. Not like I asked them for extra, lol.

This change allows me to focus on the final weeks of getting my second novel out and move full speed ahead with doing more things like my lectures at Ohio.

Now, to answer the inevitable quetions:

So what do I do next? Duh, weren't you listening? I WRITE BOOKS, BITCH! I will be spending my time writing and planning more lectures and workshops and creating more opportunities for myself. And of course, substitute teaching! I miss those kids and they miss me.

Luckily, I have a great support system of family and friends who believe in me. They know that I am a damned good author with options. A bright future. Success. A life outside of "work" that my supervisor didn't value or didn't understand.

And let me go ahead and put this out there, at the risk of sounding bitter. Aww hell, y'all know I am a bitter bitch anyway, lol.

I never once believed in my supervisor. I was hired by someone and supervised by her for about a week before her successor was announced. When he was announced, I was kinda like.....ummmmmm okay? But as the weeks and months went on, it became quite clear that he was in over his head. Even if he knew what he was doing, he looked like he didn't. He was a vegetable in crisis situations (ask me about the gas leak at my site), could never answer a question directly (You should ask so-and-so....you should ask such-and-such..... Rashid, to be honest, I really don't know....), and generally didn't do much to inspire us as Site Directors.

So I learned how to adapt without him early on. My site was strong -- yeah, I know my own shortcomings and I can't blame them all on the poor leadership examples I had. But we were strong nonetheless. To get back to the heart of the matter, 2.5 days off, when I had never asked for time off relating to my writing career, was a drop in the bucket. 2.5 days for a strong site that could run on its own if need be.

2.5 days was all it took for me to realize that while I am good at non-profit work, it is not my calling. As I said in my initial interview "Writing is what I was born to do; youth development is what I was led to do."

And now I gotta continue doing what's in my blood.

So that's the story. I hate to be negative with the stuff about my boss, but it wouldn't be an Old Gold Soul blog without the necessary nakedness of my emotions.

And that's all she wrote.

Posted on October 20, 2006 at 2:09 PM | Comments (12)

*sleep*

I think I am about seven miles past exhausted now.

Best quote of the day: "It's Wednesday."

I swear I am PLEDGIN', yo.

Gettin to know the best and worst of everybody on the team.

Wait....this REALLY does feel like pledging.

!

Do people who work for the government feel like this? LOL

My feet just stay hurt, though.

Aight, I need to sleep, cuz now my pledging flashbacks are mingling with my work thoughts, lolol

Posted on June 5, 2006 at 10:06 PM | Comments (1)

Have a good day! Have a good, good day!

I am determined to have a good day today!

I have a family that loves me, friends that love me, peers who respect my work, brotherly brothers, sisterly sisses, and a funny ass grandma.

Today will be less hot than the day before.....I will be on top of my paperwork....I will smile more than I roll my eyes.

My kids will make me laugh and my employees will make me proud.

And the icing on the cake will be how I feel when I get his text messages throughout the day...and later, when I get to hear his voice.

With so much going so right, I had just better have a good day! :=)

Posted on May 31, 2006 at 8:00 AM | Comments (0)

Gag Order

Just so you all know, I'm still here.....I have a new job, and it would DEFINITELY be a bad idea to discuss it here, lol.

It is a welcome challenge, though.

Posted on May 2, 2006 at 9:57 PM | Comments (0)

A reason to celebrate

I'm back, beeyatches!

Storme, thank you so much for filling in for me this past week. You are such a talented poet, artist, and intellectual. You are truly a renaissance woman!

Well, I have a lot of news to report. Let me just say that life had been pretty rouch for me since last Thanksgiving. I'd gone through it with a guy (as usual) and it really took me a long time to recover. Honestly, it's an ongoing process. But, as usual, I persevere. My health sorta deteriorated -- got my usual upper respiratory infection. Well, at the end of my second bout with an infection in January, my doctor ordered some bloodwork. He had no particular concerns, but just wanted the bloodwork since I was a new patient.

In February, I learned that I had diabetes. Major bummer. I was depressed about it. On top of everything else, here I now was: a fat diabetic. I couldn't help but blame myself, even though everyone told me not to.

Through good friends, I got over that, too. Just as I had gotten over being ill off and on, been dicked over by men, and even that one shrew I deal with every now and then at work.

And yeah, I've had issues with my second novel being delayed....but it's all good. It is on the way.

So fast forward....yeah I'm skipping a lot, but the most important thing is....

I GOTS ME A NEW JOB!

Yes, I am leaving the world of Educational Aide-dom as of this week and movin' on up to be a Site Director at a non-profit here in DC! It was very competitive. I learned a whole lot about myself via the process.

Sometimes...you go through life not feeling like you have much of a purpose. You float on...from job to job, from school to work to school to work again. And then a moment of clarity happens... you understand WHY.

I know now WHY I left my first job, why I went to grad school, why I dropped out of grad school, why I became a substitute teacher, then an educational aide....if I hadn't done those things, I wouldn't have had a STORY. All those things (including just being myself) led me to this job... this career.

I feel so happy. I am proud to know that a serious non-profit entity thinks I am the best fit.

I earned this. I earned this through the hard work of the application and interview process, but I earned it even more by being MYSELF and doing what I loved. And NEVER settling.

People used to ask me all the time why don't I "just" become a classroom teacher. My response was always "ehhhhhh..."

And I didn't know WHY I was passionate about kids, but not passionate enough to teach them.

It's because I don't want to be part of the MACHINE. Teachers do great work, of course, and I've encountered a lot of good ones. But what I want to do goes beyond the scope of teaching.

I know my job will be tough. But I am prepared to love it.

As for the men.... the men are still out there. One will find me someday. A good one. I'm keeping my eyes open and entertaining proposals, lol.

And the diabetes ain't nothin' but a thing.

But my friends have truly been there for me when I needed them. I love you all so much.

That said....

HAPPY HOUR AT TAKOMA STATION THIS FRIDAY AFTER WORK!!!!!

Posted on April 3, 2006 at 7:11 PM | Comments (7)

Breakfast With Santa

Free Jolly Jenkins!

What WHAAAAAAT!!!!!!

Posted on December 28, 2005 at 6:39 PM | Comments (6)

Tired

Jesus I am worn out.

Work isn't hard, but it's long. It seems like I keep forgetting "Oh yeah, I'm also the student council advisor." :-/ So that means even AFTER this long week, I will have to spend ALL DAY at a bazaar on Saturday, selling stupid baked good for the stupid Student Council Bake Sale.

(Though if you're in the DC area and want to support my student council on saturday, just email me and I'll give you directions to the school.)

I didn't sleep well last night, though I had two interesting dreams. One was erotic (YES! The most action I'll be getting any time soon!) and one was benign.

I'm just TIRED and my cough seems to be worse these days. I think I need to switch up my medicine because I am clearly congested again.

Anyway....

Posted on December 14, 2005 at 6:24 AM | Comments (1)

Day One: Over

Work was great! In case you missed it, I work for an after school program teaching test taking skills. It's only a few hours a day for the next two weeks, and it's actually very tiring by itself. But all together, I end up having like a ten-eleven hour day instead of a six hour day.

I'm looking forward to the upcoming vacation, though.

Posted on December 13, 2005 at 6:50 AM | Comments (0)

Thanks, General Robert

Snow, but not enough to cancel school.

Yuck.

Student Council meeting today. I'll be showing the little runts how to conduct a meeting. Order of business, basic parliamentary procedure, how to make a motion, etc. The bad part about Robert's Rules is that there is no Robert's for kids....that I know of, at least.

This will be a fun meeting, though.

Hell, come to think of it, wouldn't it be nice if my frat meetings followed Robert's Rules? That's what bugs me the most about organizations in general. The parliamentary authority is clearly identified in the bylaws, but nobody makes it a point to learn even the basics.

It's not even that difficult to learn.

But ah, whatever. I guess I complain too much.

Posted on December 6, 2005 at 7:50 AM | Comments (1)

tireder

Ex.

Haust.

Ed.

First things first....I got the job! YEAH BITCHES!!!!! I have orientation in early December. It was a GREAT interview. I was like JEAH, I still got it, and what!

I haven't had a real interview in a long time.

The Student Council is going well. They represented at the PTA meeting tonight. We've got to work on their public speaking though.

I kinda didn't like this one part of the meeting where I felt like one of the parents undercut an idea I had. Won't get into details...but I will say that I BET THE PARENTS AT LAFAYETTE DON'T SETTLE FOR THE STATUS QUO.... lol....we can't always just settle, you know? I encourage ANYONE who wants to see change in their communities to harrass their council members until they see change.

Period. Fuck the chain of command -- you LIVE there!!!!

I'm going out of town for Thanksgiving. First time away from the family -- believe it or not, I am totally unfazed by this fact. As family oriented as I am, it's okay that I won't be with my mom and them. They'll be fine.

Random Family Guy quote: "You can't sell me, you fat son of a bitch!" Laughed my ass off.

I'd say more.... but ER is on....latah...

OOH YEAH...one more thing...check out my pictures from this show I went to last weekend called RANGILA. The hotness.

Posted on November 17, 2005 at 9:51 PM | Comments (1)

Interview/Handwriting

I've got an interview today for an after school program. I REALLY need the money. It's a good gig, too. Wish me luck!

The kids are good. I am working really hard with one little boy who doesn't understand the concepts of top, middle, and bottom -- therefore, he can't write very well. I tried EVERYTHING. I pointed to doors, file cabinets, and my body. I walked up steps to show him bottom, middle, and top. Finally, I showed them the blue lines on the paper....

He just didn't get it. :-(

The other boy did, though. I was happy about that.

Another boy in another class has handwriting problems, too. But his is hand position and how hard he presses down on the paper. You can barely see what he writes.

There's something ironic about ME teaching handwriting.

Posted on November 15, 2005 at 6:42 AM | Comments (7)

We Are the Champions

Although I now have a full-fledged cold, I must say that the Student Council Elections went extremely well!

What went right:

The principal was there.
The teachers and students pretty much showed up on time.
Voting.
Discipline of the students.
Teachers bought into it.
Students were both excited and serious.
Baloons, streamers, tablecloths -- the whole aesthetic was perfect.

What we could improve for next time:

Having students practice their speeches more.
Getting the custodians to place enough chairs out for us in advance.
Better communication between Student Council Advisors and teachers.
More (or different) teachers counting ballots.
Our podium is bootleg.
A/V was late, and wasn't that great when it was set up.

But those things are so minor -- for all intents and purposes, everything went so well! I do believe that the "right" person won for every position. Even the boy that lost won of the positions that I wanted him to win....well, there will be other opportunities. The people who campaigned the most won.

This is the fun part....seeing their little faces light up....seeing them treat the whole thing with reverence. Love it man, love it.

I couldn't have done any of it without the co-advisor.

Posted on November 11, 2005 at 5:59 AM | Comments (0)

Student Council

This junk is hard!

I am the advisor of two clubs at my job, the Student Council and the Multicultural Club. What the hell was I think? It's fun though. I have a really great Co-Advisor. She is good at the educational, student-centered part. Not that I am bad at it. More like she is better at making things lessons. I think I am good at the organizational aspect. The previous advisor, who is a great woman and still in the building, just didn't have the time for it anymore, so I was able to step in. :-)

I've been on Student Council in Elementary and High Schools, and did student leadership stuff in college, so a lot of this is fresh in my mind. This group needs a constitution -- I forgot how much a constitution is the backbone of any organization. When my friend Attractive talks about her chapter's bylaws and annual chapter program review, it makes me smile because so few chapters of any group actually review their bylaws on a regular basis.

At any rate, I am sitting here trying to write up the descriptions for the various officers, and I am realizing a few things:

*Vice President is really an important job. When I was President of GUST (The Georgetown University Step Team), I had an AWESOME Vice President that second year. His name was Joe Morrow and he was an awesome, awesome dude. He really was a hard worker, first and foremost, both on the stage and off. But when it came to organization, he really had it together. A true "right hand." VPs really need to be there for their Presidents, because you NEVER know when that nigga gone die, get sick, etc. I had an okay VP the previous year, but Joe took the prize.

*Treasurer is a ridiculously useless job on the student level. Even in college, you were so bound by the rules of your host institution that you never even got to see any money. Okay, it's not a totally useless position, but on the elementary level, I am really going to have to find creative ways to teach Treasurer stuff without letting on how useless I think the position is.

*It is damn near impossible to find a boy/man to run for Secretary in a coed organization without them treating it as a stepping stone to something else. The word still has femme connotations to it, even in 2005.

*I was a self-righteous little snot in elementary school. I just had a memory of this dude who was Secretary of the SGA under me at Keene. I really looked down my nose at him for no reason -- what was wrong with me?

*Parliamentarian is going to be my "pet" position. Darden Trivia: I was a member of the National Association of Parliamentarians back in the day. I love me some Robert's Rules of Order and need a new one. I think the latest came out in 2000. I hope whoever wins that is a little procedure nerd like I am.

Aight, one of my coworkers is IMing me.... have a good one!

Posted on November 3, 2005 at 7:14 PM | Comments (1)

When Worlds Collide

My school's PTA has profiled LAZARUS on their website!

It's in a blog style, so PLEASE check it out and leave a comment....they are really getting a kick out of the fact that people are checking the site out!

The PTA talks about LAZARUS

Posted on October 27, 2005 at 6:47 AM

Recap

Work was cool yesterday....sort of exhausting, but a lot of fun.

Highlights:

**The little boy who had never been away from his great-grandparents who kept saying "I want my mommy" every time we asked him a question.

**The little girl who started crying during her nap -- I taught her breathing exercises. Later, I would realize how ridiculous this was, even though it worked, dammit! It worked!

**The boy in first grade who speaks NO English! But he speaks Spanish like we're all supposed to know it and GOSH we're stupid if we can't understand him.

**Running into one of my classmates from high school (she actually spoke to me! lol). Her daughter is in one of the Kindergarten classes.

All in all a great day.

Gotta go....other stuff to do today -- peace!

Posted on August 30, 2005 at 6:11 AM | Comments (4)

Day #2

Day #2 went off without a hitch. I was exhausted by the end of the day, though. Moved a lot of textbooks from the makeshift book room to the classrooms I work with.

I am really fond of the music teacher. He is a really cool man. I know I always say that about him, but I really mean it. He's somebody I wish I hung out with outside of work, you know?

Came home, then went to the post office. Shipped four boxes of books to Atlanta via media mail -- they should get there in a week, which will be the day before I get there. I will also send two other boxes to other locations in ATL as my "insurance" just in case my four boxes magically disappear.

That would suck.

Got dinner from a nice Middle Eastern restaurant near the post office.

Had an incident with a shop girl....but you know what, I don't even feel like rehashing that. COTTONMOUTH be coming out...

Positive thoughts.

Posted on August 24, 2005 at 6:40 PM | Comments (1)

First Day Back: Fun and Productive

Lord I need to find a way to get more sleep.

Yesterday was a good day. All morning we had a staff meeting and it was cool. We have two new staff members -- a new special ed teacher and a new mental health clinician. Thank god for that. We had a horrible shooting over the summer and I was concerned about how the kids in general would be handling that. This neighborhood is pretty quiet, although there is a drug presence.

I had lunch with one of my coworkers and that was cool. All my other coworkers were either busy in their rooms or had gone out for lunch. There were a few who were being gloomy about the start of the year, but I was like to hell with feeling bad. Sure, I'd rather not be working, and yeah, I get paid SHIT, but you know what? It's a job with benefits, I like children, and it could worse in today's Bush economy. I'm glad to have any job AND be able to sell a few books on the side.

After lunch I helped each of the teachers I am assigned to. They are great. It will be a mostly low stress year.

Got home and was hungry as hell, even though the ESL teacher said "You gained weight over the summer, didn't you?" ILL! Do you say that? That was so rude. YES I gained weight, bitch. Ugh.

I called myself going to bed "early" so that I could get up at 6am if I wanted to. Not! After sleeping for about 45 minutes, I got a phone call. I only left it on in case my friend called but it was my frat who writes. He has sent me some information in email, which I had responded to, so I am like half sleep asking what the hell he wants, lol. But we had a good 45-minute conversation. I know he's really busy, so I don't mind the interruption. But I swear he didn't give a rat's ass that I was asleep.

Oh yeah, the oh-so-hot co-worker never did come out of the closet, LOL. Not that I expected him to. But I'm quite fond of him in general, so it was good to see him again.

I am going to the post office today. I have to send boxes of books down to Atlanta, and I am really not trying to have to pay for priority or express shipping. Media mail is only supposed to take four days from DC to Atlanta, but I am going to talk to the postal workers myself about that. I'm not trying to be in Atlanta with no books! That would be a nightmare!

I fell asleep (both times) last night trying to visualize scenes from a book I was inspired to write. I had been vaguely inspired to write this story a few months ago, but somehow things crystalized for me yesterday at work. I can really "see" this polt unfold, so I'm happy for that.

Jeez, if I had the leisure, I'd be hella prolific!

Posted on at 7:02 AM | Comments (1)

Woo hoo!

I sooooo didn't get enough sleep, even though I made sure I slept an extra hour. Not used to it! I planned on getting up at six, exercising for half an hour, checking email, write a blog entry, then have a leisurely shower, figure out what to wear, etc.

Well, six in the morning was WAY too early, so I reset my alarm for seven. Real exercise went out the window for today! I can barely keep my eyes open. It's all good though.

I'm hoping all my coworkers read Lazarus over the summer and have good things to say about it.

Okay, time to shower...maybe that will wake me up.

Oh yeah, we allegedly will get breakfast this morning.

Oh snap, one last thing, here is part of my dream from last night: so I was at Coolidge (big surprise) on the first day of school. Crap, at first it seems like I was a teacher, then by the end it seems like I was a student. Well, no matter. The two main parts were that one teacher was new and was straight cussin' students out! Not like in a ghetto way, but in a suburban "Fuck, man!" kinda way.

The other important part was that one of my coworkers was also there and came out of the closet.

I was like.....YESSSS!!!!!!

:-D

Posted on August 23, 2005 at 7:10 AM | Comments (3)

"Freedom"

Today is my last day of "freedom" before I go back to work. Sure did sneak up on me. I'm actually looking forward to it. Although I love working on Lazarus related stuff full time, I think I will be more productive the less free time I have. You know...having less free time forces you to use it wisely.

On the other hand, I don't know how I will have time to do all the things I really want to do in the course of a day. Luckily I don't have to waste a lot of time on the commute.

I'm looking forward to seeing all my old coworkers again, too. They are a fun bunch.

Posted on August 22, 2005 at 9:12 AM | Comments (1)

Last Day of School....

And I am sick as a dog.

I caught a cold last week and it is clearly turning into bronchitis.

Nothing more to say.

Posted on June 21, 2005 at 6:14 AM | Comments (4)

Too Damn Hot

Any time it's SO HOT that they close the school system, you know that:

1) They REALLY need some A/C in this piece, and

2) They are really in school too damn long.

I should be back soon -- they won't keep us long today.

Posted on June 15, 2005 at 7:46 AM | Comments (2)

Mr. Darden: Cool Sub

I took this pic one day when I subbed for the sixth grade class I like. It happened to be class picture day, but they also took individual pictures of all the students and teachers.

Not bad, eh?

Posted on May 17, 2005 at 2:18 PM | Comments (9)

Too Slow

I've reallllly got to do a better job at getting my ass in gear before work.

Posted on May 12, 2005 at 8:10 AM | Comments (1)

What the...(a random entry encompassing all categories)

First of all....HI!

I've not been taking any calls this evening, and only placed one to him. Unfortunately, he got another call from someone he hadn't spoken to in a while, so I just said I'd talk to him tomorrow. I didn't really feel like playing the "waitupreallateandprayhecalls" game. Especially since I was already really tired and I know him -- he'd just fall asleep anyway. C'est la vie.

My boy Dwayne called me tonight and I checked his message...he is feelin' Lazarus and it really made me feel good to know that so many people identify with so many different little parts. One of his favorites so far was the scene in the Metro. (Won't say more for now.) Dwayne is really cool peeps -- I like him.

One of my APO bros from Region IV also called me tonight. I need way more time to holla back at him, I haven't seen him since summer 03 maybe?

And I STILL haven't called back my law school frat who was in town this past weekend. Where has all my energy gone?

Oh, I know...it's gone to that damn school house. I worked all five days last week with a second grade class, then no work monday due to parent conferences. Tuesday I came in to volunteer with the second grade teacher to ease her transition, but I got called in to cover a third grade class, so I got put on the schedule. Today, I subbed for a PE class all damn day! THREE, count them, THREE classes back to back, THEN recess duty! Then about 20 minutes for lunch and a pee break, then two more classes back to back! That shit was ba-noodles.

But fun. I did something slightly different with each class. All in all, only one acted like a little snot rag.

Tomorrow, I go in for the second grade teacher in the morning and the PE teacher in the afternoon, then Friday all day for the other second grade teacher.

I really do like this job, no matter how much I complain.

On that note, why do I feel like my biological clock is ticking and not only am I only 25 (26 next month!) but I don't have a biological clock! lol. I see these bright girls and boys and imagine what it would be like if I had kids like them. I can picture it now....three kids, two boys and a girl. One boy, the oldest, is going to be the "smart" one...overachieving and athletic. The type that would probably WANT to go to boarding school. The middle child is the bad boy -- the one that needs all the extra attention. He's BAD and people can't believe that's Rashid Darden's kid! But he's smart and just acts out because he feels like it. Then there is the baby sister whom everyone adores. Her hurh ALWAYS be in nice cornrows cuz her daddy finally will learn how to cornrow some day. She loves to read and her older brothers protect her fiercely.

Yes, that's that active writer's imagination of mine.

Once I get more settled down, I will mentor first. See if I can ACTUALLY help troubled kids.

Back to the book....yo, what's REALLY scary is that people are literally finishing LAZARUS in a DAY. Part of me is like damn, is it THAT easy of a read? But people are saying that it's good, so hey....it's just good then. Wierd. Weird? Why can I never remember how to spell that.

In terms of Entertainment...somehow, I got addicted to America's Next Top Model. It's good! So yeah, it's in it's fourth season and I didn't start watching until last year, but hey, I like it. My favorite is Naima (sp?) and it seems like she is America's favorite as well.

I'm not terribly interested in American Idol right now. Nor anything on MTV. I guess I am just patiently waiting for Big Brother and The Wire to come back.

I was really mad at myself this week when I had a check bounce. :-( I have automatic deduction for my cell phone bill, and I didn't have enough money in there. And Discover kinda wanted some money, too, and well....I just basically dropped the ball and I am mad about it. I ain't rich or famous enough yet to avoid these mishaps. Argh.

I am excited about Pride this year. I'm gonna be at like EVERYTHING. It should be fun.

Okay, now I am too tired to write more. I don't feel like going to sleep, but I certainly do have to work tomorrow. Maybe I'll write more in the morning.

PEACE.

Posted on May 11, 2005 at 10:40 PM | Comments (4)

Are you gonna get rich and quit teaching?

Rashid: oh, before you go

Him, via Sidekick II: Huh

Rashid: i had two of my books in a grocery bag today, and one of my students asked why was i always carrying books around

Rashid: and one of the other kids also said i was always carrying books around

Rashid: and the first kid says "Are those your books Mr. Darden?"

Rashid: and I said yeah

Rashid: and he said "You wrote them?"

Rashid: and I said yeah

Him, via Sidekick II: Yea

Rashid: so of course they got psyced

Rashid: then kid #1 says:

Him, via Sidekick II: Ok

Rashid: "Mr. Darden, so you're gonna get rich off of these books and quit being a teacher?"

Him, via Sidekick II: Awwww

Rashid: HI-fuckin-LARIOUS

Him, via Sidekick II: Its sweet too

Rashid: and i said YUP CUZ I WRITE BOOKS, BITCH!!!

Rashid: okay, not really, but i thought it real hard :-)

Him, via Sidekick II: Lol

What also happened was that my kids asked what the novel was about. And I said that it's about a guy who goes to college and experiences....stuff.

So they say "It's about SEX???!!!!"

And I say NO!!!! But it's for grown folks!

Then another kid says "So this book about Mr. Darden is about sex."

And I say NO, it's not about MR. DARDEN!!! It's fiction, you know, NOT TRUE.

And then the kid said "Oh okay. So this book is about a guy who went to Georgetown and is wearing blue and gray new balance, blue jeans, and a football jersey, and a purple bag, and has dreadlocks, and is standing right in front of me. HMMM, WHO AM I????"

Little whippersnappers!!!!

Posted on April 27, 2005 at 9:23 AM | Comments (2)

First Graders and "Vegetable Soup"

Throwing in a little bit of everything, Vegetable Soup mixed equal parts culture, cartoons, live-action drama, and life lessons, cooking up a diverse, entertaining dish. Produced by the New York State Department of Education, the show ran simultaneously on both commercial and public television stations, a TV first.

The show’s format consisted of several segments, including the memorable Woody the Spoon cartoon. Bette Midler provided the voice of Woody, who taught kids recipes from around the globe. James Earl Jones voiced another cartoon character on the show, Long John Spoilsport, who taught kids how not to behave in the Adventures in Saniland segments. Long John’s polar opposite was Luther, who gave kids a friendlier role model. Long John also appeared in a segment called 'The Big Job Hunt'. This is a trivia game show that is hosted by Sue and faces two different schools up against each other, to win the ultimate prize, the MAX trophy. MAX is a giant computer that gives the categories for the questions and lets the answering party know if they are right or wrong.

Also on the show were short films, skits, “man on the street” interviews, the show-opening Outerscope spaceship segements, brief biographies of minority professionals, and Real People, a running drama with an ethnically diverse cast.

Vegetable Soup ran every day on PBS and on Saturday mornings on NBC. There was Vegetable Soup I which was the first series and ran for 39 episodes and then two years later, Vegetable Soup II, which premiered in 1977, making a total of 78 episodes. NBC ran both series. It was also available in 15 minute format for school use and school TV broadcast. It may never have gained the success of Sesame Street, but while it lasted, Vegetable Soup showed kids the world was more than white bread, apple pie, and meat and potatoes.

So I'm obsessed with this show. Somebody on ebay sells these tapes and one of these days I am going to get the complete set. But I decided to try them out by getting the first tape, which has four episodes.

Oh my god, the memories just came flooding back. Nigel the boa constrictor and his owner Martin were on the first episode, just like I remembered. So was Woody the Spoon, making guacamole. Damn, it was just great to see black, Latino, and Asian people on children's TV.

So I went in to sub today and popped in the tape for the first graders. They LOVED it -- everything about it. I was kind of amazed because kids today seem to crave the fast paced, post-modern Sesame Street type shows. But sometimes you gotta get back to basics.

I'm definitely going to be finding the rest of these episodes on tape because my kids have to find out what happens to the Outerscope I!!!!

Posted on April 11, 2005 at 5:57 PM | Comments (9)

Nothin' major.

Work today was cool. I went in not knowing who I was supposed to be subbing for, but it turned out that I had sixth graders. Woo hoo! And I had the same sixth graders that I had last time I subbed. Some of them are some surly little bitches, but all in all, I had a good day.

Posted on April 4, 2005 at 10:09 PM | Comments (1)

As usual...

As usual, my day wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

I wish I wasn't so....wound up sometimes. I need a valium or something every now and then.

So I went to work (after calling Shari to vent, lol). I was like oh hell no, I can't believe they bamboozled me into this gig. I saw a few of my homies and they were like oh lawd, not Miss _____'s class, but they thought I would be fine.

Went to the playground to pick them up and I had the ill ice grill on. I was also wearing my blue army fatigue jacket. I only wear it because I think it's cute, but recently I began to think that the kids found it a little irreverent and menacing at the same time.

I brought the kids to the room and sat them down in their little sharing circle and said "Listen up. All I have to say is that I am NOT Miss _____ and I wil fuck you up." Sike, LOLOLOL I ain't say that. But I did tell them that I wasn't Miss _____ and they wouldn't be getting away with the things she might let them get away with. And oh yeah, I never smiled. Never smiling REALLY works.

Amazingly -- there were nearly silent for the whole first hour! I had some issues with one little annoying prick all day, but it wasn't as bad as the two boys who were conspicuously absent. Turns out that one was on In School Suspension and the other was transferred, so I was like HOLLA!!! We got through the first three hours of school without incident and then we made it to lunch.

During my lunch time, I planned on making some calls to my printer, who I haven't heard from since last week, but I got hung up with the first graders. The first grade teachers sorta made me choreograph part of their performance for next month's PTA meeting. They are gonna recite some poems, sing a song, and they really want to step a little bit. I was like cool, I can help with that. Shooooot, these MY babies, they already know a few chants! lol

After lunch, the kids had music, so I had even more time. I ended writing some notes on a future novel I am in the process of outlining. Then, I went back to first grade -- they are so calming, yo. And one of my little favorites is STILL adorable and I STILL want to adopt him, lol.

I was kinda mad at the kids during the last hour of school -- it's really a pet peeve when kids can't just FUCKING SHUT UP AND MAKE A STRAIGHT LINE in the hallway. So I had to send one to another classroom because a few of the kids were identifying him as a trouble maker. It's possible the kids were just picking on him, but hey, three kids against one -- as a teacher, I have to go with the credible reports, not the lone denial. And by sending him to another class, even if he wasn't in the wrong (unlikely) at least he gets a break.

I think I messed up, though. I gave that same kid's mother (who picked him up from the classroom after school) one of the spare Robery Dension/Sunpiper reviews that I had on me. I left my LAZARUS postcards at home, so I didn't have anything else to give her. I dunno....I mentioned that I was coming out with a novel, she said she was an avid reader, so it couldn't hurt to promote myself, right? On one hand, that's another potential sale, but on another, that's a parent (another one) who has the potential to lead a witch hunt against me.

Oh well, it's done now.

So all in all, work was good, and I wouldn't mind going back in today, although I haven't gotten the call yet. On the other hand, I still have lots to do and a hair appointment this afternoon. Which reminds me, I really also need to get a shave from the barber next door to the salon. DAMN it be some fine dudes in the barbershop.

And tomorrow, I go away for a few nights. Because of potential stalkers, I won't tell y'all where til I get back, LOL. Don't worry, it's not a book signing or anything!

Posted on March 17, 2005 at 6:47 AM | Comments (0)

damn them

This one bitch that calls from my school NEVER tells me what class they need me for until after I confirm that I am available. I should have known when the broad called that she was going to shaft me with a bad class AND SHE DID. UGH!!!! I usually ask HER which class I'm subbing for before I confirm because honestly, when it comes to a day's pay, I'd much rather lose out than be stressed out. And that's the God's honest truth.

But I didn't ask her which class because I was sort of "on call" for another teacher there who was supposed to be out either today or tomorrow. So I just KNEW that was the teacher I'd be in for.

These motherfuckers have placed me with one of the few classes worse than the one I left! UGGGHHH!!!!! UGH UGH UGH!

Fuck three strikes....these little bastards will get one strike before I send them out. I am not dealing with any bullshit today. I already fell asleep in a bad mood and I wake up to this same shifty bitch calling my house and (as usual) not being upfront about where they need me. The other lady that calls knows that my preference is with primary grades and sixth grade.

I KNOW it seems like I am just being picky, but god dammit I am sick of trying to teach these little hellions who only get half raised by their parents.

It's not because this is an urban school -- it's because I KNOW THEM.

Posted on March 16, 2005 at 7:12 AM | Comments (1)

Relieved

I'm so glad to be out of that classroom.

It

was

hell.

Moreso than I can ever explain.

But, they still manage to entertain me.

So, I have three boys, let's call them Larry, Moe, and Shemp. They are all really jovial, kind-hearted boys. I like them a lot. Larry has a crush -- a SERIOUS crush -- on one of the girls in the class. Moe always clowns Larry about the crush. And Shemp is just there, but he's cool. Moe and Shemp don't like any girls in the class. (I don't blame them.)

Larry is just plain silly, but in a good way. Somewhere along the line, he decides to confide in me that he likes this girl. I honestly wouldn't have known unless he told me, but it was pretty obvious once he told me. So he's ALWAYS trying to whisper something to me about this girl. It's usually nothing more than "I'm taking her to the Valentine's Day Dance, Mr. Darden." And of course I'm happy for him, but I gotta tell him to stop being silly and do his work.

So yeah, there's a Valentine's Day Dance. When I got well enough to come back to work, this dance was the talk of the town. Larry, Moe, and Shemp got it in their heads that I should take "Miss Lucy" -- another teacher -- to this dance. So I had to break it to them "Gee boys, I'm not even going to the dance, but why do you want me to go with Miss Lucy?"

"Mr. Darden, you like Miss Lucy!"

"No, she's just my friend."

"Yeah, okay Mr. Darden." *wink*

So this goes on like three days in a row. Yesterday, I told them "Guys, me and Miss Lucy went to high school together--"

"OOOOOOOOOH!!!!"

"No, we ATTENDED high school together, we didn't GO together."

"OOOOOOOOH!!!!!!"

"Oh for goodness sake!"

So yesterday, I thought they got over it. Today, however, the Mr. Darden/Miss Lucy affair was revitalized. The kids were reading the newspaper and found a picture of some white man giving a white chick a flower, and they're both smiling.

"Look," Shemp said. "It's Mr. Darden and Miss Lucy!"

So they had big laughs.

So again, because I really didn't have anything else to do, I engaged them in a dialogue about it. They just SWEAR that me and Miss Lucy were MEANT for each other and that we LOVE each other.

I want to tell them so bad that:

1) I am harrrrddddly interested in chicks.

2) Miss Lucy knows I am haaaaaaardly interested in chicks.

3) Miss Lucy's man would beat my ass.

Later, I showed Miss Lucy the picture of the white couple and she asked me "Don't they know we're black?"

Hilarious.

I'm going to miss Larry, Moe, and Shemp, but I know they'll be fine.

Posted on February 8, 2005 at 7:16 PM | Comments (1)

Work Sucks

Long story short:

I am going back to short-term sub gigs. This gig with Satan's Little Helpers just ain't cuttin' it for a lot of reasons. I'd go into it more, but folks are shady. Wouldn't want to lose the gig entirely.

I am extremely happy to be going back to short-term work, though. Less guarantees, but more flexibility.

I so wish I could say more.

Posted on February 7, 2005 at 6:57 PM | Comments (1)

shouldn't have...

I should never have worked on Tuesday. I was NOT ready to come back.

I handled it, though. I didn't have any major coughing fits. I drank lots and lots of water. But I had so little energy, so little patience.

My kids are the devil. Okay, only one is THE devil, the rest are demons. Honestly, I can probably count on one hand the ones that are genuinely kind-hearted most of the time.

Yes, yesterday was a rough day. They really took advantage of the fact that I wasn't feeling well. It never ceases to amaze me that when given the opportunity, most of these kids choose to be bad instead of being good. It's like some of them just don't have it IN them to be good.

Yeah, I'm cynical about today's youth.

Posted on February 2, 2005 at 5:48 AM | Comments (0)

Break down and let it all out....

Thank you, Darold....

Thank you, Barry....

Thank you, him.....

I really needed you tonight, and you came through for me, each of you. Thank you for talking to me....thank you for listening.

For everyone else interested in the saga of my teaching career...you know I can't tell you details. Just lift up my students in prayer if you do that sort of thing.

Oh yeah, and me too.

Posted on January 24, 2005 at 10:56 PM | Comments (0)

Dammit!

Dammit, as soon as I decided I can't talk about it, some juicy stuff happens at work.

All I will say is.....if you are familiar with Miss Ciel from Women of Brewster Place and Lynne Thigpen's character from Lean on Me, then you feel me!

Posted on January 11, 2005 at 6:41 AM | Comments (1)

'tis I.....

Well, my lesson plans are about 45 percent done. I've had very little motivation, both last night and even this morning. I just feel really tired for some reason.

I guess it was a draining week last week, eh?

At least I won't be working on Friday. I've got some important appointments that day that I've had for a long time.

Anyway.....I hope everyone has a good day today. It's going to be a long one for me -- I'm having a meeting with all the parents plus the principal tonight at 6pm. Nothing bad....just a getting to know Mr. Darden type thing.

Posted on January 10, 2005 at 6:55 AM | Comments (0)

Man.....

I don't feel like doing SHIT right about now.

I guess part of it is that I don't feel like making lesson plans, because that means I'll have to think about work this week.

blah

You know what? I'll do the lesson plans in the morning. I wake up a full two hours before I leave the house, and THAT's to be at work half an hour early!

THERE. I feel better now.

Posted on January 9, 2005 at 7:45 PM | Comments (0)

Less Teaching Entries

Hey folks....just wanted to put everyone on notice that I think it would be a good idea if I spoke about teaching a little less. My promotional circle has been broadening. I don't mind the coworkers reading the diary AT ALL. It's more like the parents....sickos. LOL j/k

One thing that was cool...the art teacher told her sixth grade class about cooperation and collaboration in the arts. She used me as an example! She said "Mr. Darden wrote a book; his friend designed the cover." (That's what she told me, at least.) And I thought that was cool, although a little scary. Shoooooot them lil bamas don't need to know the content, lol.

My coworkers seem to be pretty happy for me and supportive. That's so awesome. It's like the finally see ME and everything I'm trying to do.

Oh yeah, another reason I will be cutting down on the teaching entries is because this shit is STRESSFUL and my kids are CRAZY. So, I don't want to betray the little psycho's confidentiality and shit.

Ugh, I so don't feel like it today.

Posted on January 6, 2005 at 6:57 AM | Comments (1)

Hey Mr. Darden....you look good today!

But Mr. Darden looks good EVERY day!

Well, I did everything I said I would!

Got up at 6am, did my thing checking emails, doing some promoting, etc. Took my shower, got all spiffy and shit.

Sidenote: GOT DAMN MARION BARRY'S SON LOOK GOOD! I swear, it's that Effie in him, cuz Marion don't look like nothing but a black Darwin nowadays.

So yeah, I went to work in the nacy blue suit, blue shirt, red tie, black tenchcoat, talking to HIM on the way. I told him walking through my neighborhood must sound like I live on Sesame Street.....I mean, I don't think it's all THAT welcoming a place, but I like to say hi to everyone on the street. It's up to me to make this neighborhood more welcoming....but I digress.

It was a brief phone call. He was still on the train when I got to school. Of course every damn body was like "Oooooooh Mr. Darden, you look niiiiiiicccceeee...." And I'm all thank you and shit, and then of course everybody is like "So where you going after work?" LOL

It's funny how people just KNOW I can't be dressed up for work, lol. But I told everybody hey, it's 2005, I gotta step the game up! Let these fourth graders KNOW that Mr. Darden is about bidness, dammit!

I had to make an example of this lil boy first thing in the morning....he was the victim of my second strike. First strike, verbal warning -- second strike, your ass is going to write me a four paragraph essay about WHAT you did, WHY you did it, HOW it affected others, and HOW you plan to change.

Lil boy ain't like that too much. But hey, feel the wrath!!!!

Another girl lost her recess and had to do the same thing.

A THIRD girl got the THIRD STRIKE! She acted like she didn't want to write her essay, so I said OH YEAH? And I wrote her up something GOOD. Sent a note to the office, then sent her. Later, the principal came to the room and gave a brief lecture about CHANGE. I appreciated that. I think he got the note and was like OH LAWD LEMME STOP THIS FORE MR DARDEN SEND THE WHOLE CLASS DOWN. I think his speech did some good.

All in all, it wasn't a bad day! It wasn't easy, but I kept the kids adequately engaged and properly disciplined.

And at 3:30pm, I was out, cuz I AIN'T GOT TIME!!!!

:-D

Posted on January 3, 2005 at 5:25 PM | Comments (3)

It's A New Year!

Happy New Year! Sorry I didn't get to update yesteday -- you wouldn't believe just how busy I've been with LAZARUS! In addition to all the promoting I've been doing, I've also been learning how to use PageMaker. Hey, I don't call it "By Yo Damn Self Publishing" for nothing -- typesetting my novel on my own saves BEAUCOUP ducats.

I've also been getting some things ready for my new teaching assignment. I am sure I've mentioned it, but I will be in a fourth grade class from January through April! Possibly May! On one hand, I am so blessed to be working for that long. On the other hand, not only will I miss the little anklebiters in the primary grades, but I will miss the fluidity of short term work. Let's face it, short term work is easier, especially when the teachers already know the sub.

I've been thinking of ways to tighten my discipline and behavior modification plan. One thing that will help me out is STICKING TO WHAT I SAY. Kids can sense when you won't follow through on a punishment or loss of privileges. Now, I generally do follow through, but sometimes it's tough when you only have a class for half a day and they sneak and go to recess EVEN when you told them not to.

I'll have a three strikes rule. I'm not raising my voice to or arguing with those kids. I AIN'T GOT TIME. Verbal warning, send to another teacher, send to principal. PERIOD. When I send them to another teacher, they'll write a three-part essay before they can come back: WHAT they did to break the rules, WHY they broke the rules, and HOW they will change their behavior. I'll keep the essays, photocopy them, send them home to whomever, and keep a copy.

See, these kids don't know about DOCUMENTATION and COMMUNICATION yet.

I sound like I'm going to war, and I hate to make them sound like criminals, but I must admit that I DO NOT LIKE the attitudes of intermediate grades. UGH. We have a few in my class that I already know I will have problems with. And no, I am not trying to have a negative attitude -- I've subbed for this class before. I know how they can be.

I just picked out all my oufits for the week. I decided to start dressing professionally to go to work -- buttoned shirts, ties, blazers, suits, etc. I don't WANT to, but I decided that I'm going to enforce the uniform policy. And you KNOW the first thing a kid will do is question why I get to wear jeans but they have to wear the uniform.

We'll see how long it lasts....it can't hurt to dress up, can it? I do know that I need a few new pair of shoes. I only have one pair of dress shoes that my mom is convinced I have had for eight years. Maybe that will be the plan for this weekend.

****

So, it's a new year. New year, new catch phrase. It will probably be forgotten by February, but here it goes anyway:

"You got to step up the game in 2005."

and

"I ain't got TIME."

I don't know exactly where I picked up the first catch phrase, but I can apply it to EVERY aspect of my life. And get this -- it's not a self-affirmation. It's for everybody else! I have taken control of my life and my self-esteem is pretty high right now. I'm publishing one book this year, I've written another that's in the queue so to speak, and in a nutshell, I'm about to blow up. That means you can't half-step when it comes to me! Romance, friendships, professionally....none of that! You have to step up your game in 2005 if you want to be part of this world, this life.....

Cuz I ain't got TIME! Now, I stole this saying from one of my co-workers, but it's the perfect continuation of stepping up the game. Why? Cuz I ain't got time for foolishness, games, procrastination, none of that. It's 2005 and I have stepped up MY game -- no repeats of past mistakes. I expect nothing less from people around me. NONE of us should have time for bullshit!

I look back on 2004, and 2003 for that matter, and I see a lot of time wasted.

I dated this one dude for about six weeks last winter. (January/February? I remember there was snow on the ground.) And yeah, he was a handsome dude, college grad. We were alike in SO MANY WAYS. Thing were so perfect for a while -- vibed with him so well.

But at the end of those six weeks....well, let me go ahead and put it all out there....

So, Valentine's Day hits, and this dude offers to cook me dinner at his crib, which is located in S***** C**** (all the DC folks collective gasp...NOW). So I am like wow, a Valentine's Day dinner, that's neat, this must be SPECIAL. I made him some CDs, we listened to them, I gave him a card, I spent the night.

I should have known there was a problem when, the next morning, he thought that playing Super Mario Brothers (yes, #1, on the 8-bit NES) was a good idea. Not just playing it, but BEATING it. Granted, it took only 20 minutes, but I am just sitting here, all my clothes on, kinda ready to go home, watching this nigga play video games in his draws, looking all bright-eyed like a kid on Christmas morn'.

In another lifetime, it may have been cute.

The next week, the nigga stops calling me! Stops returning emails....it's like i KNEW something was up, but I didn't know what, and he didn't tell me.

I seem to remember him telling me he needed to think about some "things" before we talked again...and I let him think for a bit, then I left him a message saying that time for thinking was over, time to talk has begun. But he STILL didn't call me back!

(It might sound like I was trippin, but he and I used to at least email every day.)

So, that Friday morning of the sixth week, this nigga calls me all huffs and puffs like I did something wrong. I called him back like yo, what's the deal? And he's like "Where were you this morning?" like I'm his SON or some shit. "And I was like....ummm....home asleep, then in the shower...."

WHY DID THIS NIGGA accuse me of going down to GHETTO ASS S***** C**** to buzz his door then run away?

DUDE. I do NOT fuck with S***** C**** at all, much less first thing in the morning! With no car! How do I look?

So needless to say, I was highly offended. I was like um, what the hell do I look like going to YOUR door and buzzing you and THEN running away on some fatal attraction bullshit?

And he said that the "tone" of my voice mails to him made it seem like I might do that.

Getthefuckoutofherewiththatbulllllshit yo!

Anyway, there is more, but I don't want to out the poor boy. In a nutshell, I wasted six weeks of my life on a paranoid schizophrenic (probably) who was SO AFRAID that I would out him, SO AFRAID that I would somehow mess up his professional life or fraternal aspirations....

Anyway, that's six weeks I want back, dammit!

2004 was about cutting loose people like that.....2004 was about recognizing the signs....2004 was about doing what I needed to do. I came a LONG long way in 2004. I know I'm not perfect, but I am maybe 90 percent there.

2005 will be about reaching that final ten percent for ME...and then holding everyone else to a high standard. STEP UP THE GAME!

I AIN'T GOT TIME!!!!!

Posted on January 2, 2005 at 8:25 AM | Comments (0)

The White Elephant

Today was a half-day at work, yay!

You'd think I was an ACTUAL full-time staff member and not a sustitute, lol. But when you work damn near every day, you welcome the days away from the anklebiters as much as the regular staff.

Those three hours of class moved sooooo slow. I mean, SLOW! The kids weren't bad, though. Second graders. It's nice when you sub for a teacher who knows your style, you know theirs, and the transition is somewhat seamless.

At lunchtime, we had a potluck! I contributed chewy coconut cookies (courtesy ma dukes). It was ACTUALLY a nice potluck! I even had string beans! (Me and vegetables have a tenuous relationship, lol)

During lunch, we had a White Elephant game. How it works is that everyone brings in a gift. It SHOULD be something you bring from home that may or may not be new, like maybe something you got for Christmas LAST year but didn't really want. It has to be wrapped so nobody knows what it is.

You draw a number. It is probably better to have a higher number so you can be called closer to last. The lowest number is called, and you go pick out a gift. You open it, show everyone, and sit down. The next number is called. THAT number can either TAKE YO GIFT, forcing you to pick another one from the pot, or they may take one themselves.

Thing is...there were some pretty nice gifts! Not a lot of "white elephants"....of course, my black ass gets the first real white elephant. Some junk ain't NOBODY want!!!!

The Supreme Challenge:

Bowhunting Open Country Muleys.
82 Minutes

Veteran bow hunter Mike Lapinski experiences both the frustrations and joys of stalking to within 20 yards of a trophy class mule deer buck in open country. Mike meets up with Dwight Schuh in Utah where Dwight takes a 197” mulie buck that Mike stalked within five yards of just hours before. 4 kills.

WTF???? I'm feeling the box like "Oh yeah, I'm finna get The Godfather or something in this piece!"

Nope. I, Mr. Darden, got the White Elephant.

I was a good sport, though, lol. I could tell by the reaction of my colleagues that it was like "Awww, damn Darden. Sucks to be you. Couldn'ta happened to a nicer guy."

But dammit, it sucks! LOL. Cuz what happens is NOBODY is gonna snatch a white elephant gift and give you another chance. That's the beauty of the game....

It was SUCH A FUN GAME though. Me and one of my coworkers, who I went to high school with, probably got the worst ones. Why did she get a gift bag with a roll of toilet paper and a die?

Not DICE. ONE DIE.

That shit was bananas. But we couldn't do anything but laugh. I have a picture of her with the roll, but I need to ask her permission before I link it.

The teacher I had the dream about (remember he was renovating a school house in the dream?) well, he ended up with an EMPTY ink cartridge box! And remember, these gifts were all wrapped! lololol.....but inside the box was a $25 gift certificate to a sports store. That was hot! Some other gifts were really nice too, like a picnic/wine and cheese kind of totebag thingy, candles, CD's, DVD's, etc.

I don't know WHY I am so enthused by this game, but it was the most fun I've had at a "professional" function....ever! Hands down better than the junk we used to do when I worked for the Georgetown. Okay, well, we DID go to the movies for our Christmas party the year Harry Potter came out.

I fell asleep.

ANYWAY, we then we enjoyed a full afternoon of staff development, with plenty of team building activities!

The end!

Posted on December 17, 2004 at 8:18 PM | Comments (3)

BARF!

So long story short, I have been initiated into the illustrious brotherhood/sisterhood of elementary education:

A kid barfed in my class today.

Oh. My. God.

So little Starquaisia (not her real name) comes into class today complaining of a stomach ache:

Mr. Darden: What's wrong?

Starquasia: My stomch hurts. (pout)

Mr. Darden: Do you need to go to the bathroom?

Starquasia: Nooooo.....

Mr. Darden: Do you feel like you want to throw up?

Starquasia: Yeeeeeeeahhhhh....

Mr. Darden: (frightened, but in control) You SURE you don't want to go to the bathroom????

Starquaisia: Yes.

Mr. Darden: Then go to the nurse instead.

So time passes and we have the Morning Meeting. Starquasia comes back, and as there is a parent in the room, I let her handle Starquasia while I get the class settled. Parent says that the nurse told Starquasia to eat something.

Now, usually, a child that comes in complaining of a stomach ache first thing in the morning is USUALLY hungry, and feeding the kid USUALLY makes them feel better. So the parent let Starquasia have an orange/tangerine from her lunchbox.

When I saw this, I KNEW....I mean I KNEW DEEP IN MY HEART that letting that child eat that orange was a bad idea. Because what if she has an actual upset stomach? Citric acid would be the WORST thing she could ingest. BUT, the parent had already let her eat it, and what are the chances that she had a for real upset stomach and not just hunger?

I begin reading a story called "The Amazing Porridge Pot" -- which is a really good fuckin' story, by the way.

Just then, a little boy came in and had a question for me. He was like maybe fifth grade, I was with Kindergarte.

As I was talking to the boy, I heard "BLEEEEEGGGHHHHH!!!!" and then "EWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!"

I refused to look at this girl retching dead on. I saw enough from my peripheral vision to know OH MY GOD THIC CHICK IS PUKING!

Or, as we might say in my family (inside joke):

Look, Carolyn! She's throwin' up!

So the fifth grader is like oh my damn. Okay, not literally, but I know he was thinking it. I myself was like "OH MY GOD!" but not dramatically, more like "AWWWWW DAMN GINA!"

Actually, I don't know what the hell was going through my mind other than how I was NOT finna touch this barfy chick! She could have the Captain Trips!* Or Ebola!

So then I was like Starquasia go to the bathroom, quick, quick, now!

So she gets up and goes. I am like I HOPE if she has more to do, she'll do it in there. But, she was pretty much done. Luckily for the classroom, but unluckily for her, she REALLY messed herself up. I started feeling pretty bad for her, because those clothes were RUINED.

Not bad enough to touch her, though.

Aww, that's sad.

Yuck.

Anyway, so I finished telling the fifth grader what he needed to know, and Starquasia comes out of the bathroom looking HORRID. So I am like go to the nurse! And somebody took her out.

LUCKILY, our school custodian was RIGHT in the hallway when it happened. I was like "Hi, excuse me Mr. _____. We have a little vomit problem in Kindergarten!"

So he's like "Okay Mr. Dawson, I'll get right on it."

He always calls me Mr. Dawson. He's SO NICE. I really don't want to correct him. I'll just have to be Mr. Dawson for him.

So like within 30 seconds, he comes by with THE BEST CLEANER IN THE WORLD. Whatever it was smelled absolutely like oranges and helped to neutralize that stench of vomit that was in the air.

I FORGET HOW BARF SMELLED. YUCK!!!!!!

But you know what? The kids in the classroom mostly didn't see Starquaisia puking, so I don't think they were very traumatized or distracted. She was sent home soon afterward.

*****

Speaking of traumatized, I have to explain to you why I didn't take more of an active, "I'll save you, Starquasia!" role.

When I myself was in Kindergarten, this lil boy named DARIUS, who I thought was lame for whatever reason, PUKED ON ME!!!!

Not just on ME, but ON MY HEAD!!!!!!!

I was sitting Indian Style (Criss-Cross Apple Sauce for the '05) on the floor in front of Darius' desk, and he was sitting at his desk with his head down. Next thing you know, cascades of blown chunks are showering down on me. All of a sudden, before the shock could even set in, MISS ROBERTA WATSON RESCUED ME!!!!! (If anybody knows this woman, please direct her to my site! She was the bestest! Used to teach at Bunker Hill in DC.) Miss Watson snatched me up and we ran to the boys bathroom. All I know was that she was a-scrubbin' and a-scrubbin' that barf right out of my hair. Where Darius was or how he was feeling, I don't know. Alls I know was that Roberta Watson was determined to get MY little self cleaned up as best she could.

Well, my Aunt Sissy (don't laugh, city folk) came and picked me up and I got to take a bath. Ahhhhhh.

I was wearing a red, plaid shirt on that day. Don't you know it took me YEARS before I was able to psychologically separate plaid from barf?

*****

I feel kinda bad that I wasn't more proactive in helping out little Starquasia (still not her real name). But on the other hand ILL I ain't touchin' no might possibly have the bubonic plague lil chile!

Heaven forbid....lol....

But no seriously, I think I did pretty good.

*****

No kindergarteners were injured in the writing of this entry.

*****

*Captain trips was the name of the virus in The Stand by Stephen King.

Posted on December 15, 2004 at 9:26 PM | Comments (3)

Limbo 2

Well, I got the call yesterday. I went in to assist with a Kindergarten class for the morning, then I had fifth graders in the afternoon.

I soooooo prefer younger kids.

Found out one of the teachers is a Sigma Gamma Rho! I was like "Why didn't you ever say anything before???" (Because I am forever wearing something with APhiA on it.) She said "Because I'm not active" with a smile.

Now....I don't know 'bout Y'ALL....but THIS boy right'chere is gonna rep his fraternity FOREVER, lol. Okay, maybe not forever, maybe I'll outgrow the need to "rep." But I don't know, I don't see myself not mentioning my affiliation when I meet another Greek, even if I'm inactive. Even if your committment lapses, the vows are forever. But, I respect her nonetheless, and perhaps even more!

Fifth graders....gosh, I don't know what to say. They're rough around the edges. Can't say I'd want to teach them forever.

Nothing else very exciting happened at work though. New sub man was still there. He seems cool, but quiet. Seems like I search so hard for male camaraderie on the job. The only man I clicked with instantly was this other sub who has since moved to Atlanta. Seemed like, for a while there, he and I were full-time staff members! You couldn't keep that staff healthy for a solid week! lol

Today, I didn't get up at 5am. Was more like 5:30am. I fell asleep pretty much right at 10pm. Maybe 10:10pm. I expected to be woken up by a call from him but that never happened. I woke up at maybe 1:30am and saw that he hadn't called and I got disappointed. But what can you do....I fell asleep again, and woke up again at 3:30am. I hate when that happens. Luckily, both times I fell right back to sleep.

Now here I am, in limbo again, waiting for that magic hour between 7 and 8 when I usually get the call to sub. I am contemplating not being available so I can get some SLEEP and some work done, but naw.....I need the money more right now.

And now for an entry about the book....

Posted on December 10, 2004 at 6:18 AM | Comments (0)

Limbo

Being a sub is...different.

I don't work every day, which is okay, because on the days I don't work, I catch up with things related to writing and rolling Lazarus out. It's a fair trade off.

But I much prefer pre-planned sub days. I like getting mentally prepared for certain classes. LOL, look at me: Zen and the Art of Subbing. But seriously, it gets weird jumping around from lower grades to upper grades. Totally different approaches to education and discipline.

Now that I know he won't be coming in until Saturday morning, I don't mind working for the rest of the week. The hair is clean and twisted. All I really gotta do is clean up my spot a little bit more.

Yesterday, we got a new sub. He seemed nice. I shook his hand, then later checked on him to see if he needed a restroom break. He didn't. It's nice getting more male subs.

Thinking back, I remember that my elementary school had a guy who I guess was like a permanent sub. Then again, maybe he was an educational aide. You couldn't tell me that man wasn't gay. Not that it matters. Looking back, he was kind of hot. Ewww he must be in his fifties by now!

I think I want to start a step team at my school. I'll be doing some extended work there in the spring, and that would be a good way to keep the kids interested. I think the boys especially need more to do. I spoke to one of the other teachers about it, and basically he's the one in charge of the existing step program. They have a mini partership with Step Afrika. -- last year, they came and ran a clinic and then had a competition at Howard. It would be NICE if we had a year-long program. We'll see.

So anyway....my point....I've been up since 5am. Why? I haven't a clue. I think I just got the 'itis last night and had to go to sleep. So now I am in that limbo period where I am awake and waiting for a phone call for me to come sub. I KNOW it's going to happen. I shouldn't even make plans for my day until like 8:00am. But I really want to get some Lazarus stuff done!

Okay, new entry....I don't like creating multiple-category entries, so the next one will be more geared toward the book.

Posted on December 9, 2004 at 6:28 AM | Comments (2)

Conferences

I get to go in late today because it is Parent/Teacher Conference Day. My principal didn't seem too pleased with my report cards, but then again, he didn't seem to be pleased with anyone's report cards. He seems to think there is a discrepancy.....I listed some kids as "below basic" and gave them corresponding grades of 1 (or a D) in reading and/or math. But there are other kids I marked as "below basic" but gave them a 2 (probably a C).

It's like this...in elementary school, these 1-2-3-4 grades corresond to something like a 4 being "beyond the standard", a 3 being "Proficient", a 2 being "Approaches the Standard/Basic" and a 1 being "Houston we have a problem." I gave kids 1's if I tried everything and they just don't GET it. I gave kids 2s if they don't quite get it, but generally get some of the answers correct. All of them are still "below basic" in my opinion because none of them are AT the standard. Kids at 2 are approaching the standard, kids at 1 aren't approaching the standard.

The principal has a problem with the fact that a 2 means "Basic" and I marked "Below Level" kids as basic.

Maybe it's just me, but we're working with two sets of standards: whether a kid is working on his level and if a kid is meeting the obkectives. Two different things. You can be working on level but fail a test... you know?

I'm probably not conveying this the way I want to. All I know is that I feel justified in having a kid down as "below level" if I know he or she can't compete with their suburban counterparts.

*sigh*

I know these kids, and I know their parents. I am not worried about how I am justifying their grades because I know now, since their permanent teacher came back, the majority of the kids are now receiving appropriate extra help, like tutoring, after school programs, and time at the classroom computer (which has remedial software) on it.

I don't think I want to be a teacher, though. I do...but I don't. It's a job. Not really a career. My career is writing, I suppose.

But since I am going in late, I am going to Borders to pick up some gifts, and maybe even Linens and Things. Still have to get that DVD player though.

Bye y'all!

Posted on December 6, 2004 at 7:43 AM | Comments (0)

Back to Work!

Sabbatical is over!

I got a lot accomplished on LAZARUS over the past few weeks, and you all will see the fruits of those labors over the next few months. I did a lot with these weeks off, but now it's back to work and making money. Finances will be light, but I did a good (better) job at budgeting.

Today, I sub for first grade. Tomorrow and Wednesday, I sub for third. I am excited to be back in the classroom, especially with these funny ass first graders.

I still gotta do report cards...shame shame shame.

Okay, I really think I should shower now....I am just still kinda tired, I guess.

To all who read this, have a wonderful day. All three of you.

Posted on November 22, 2004 at 7:13 AM | Comments (0)

Last Day

So today is my last day for two weeks and the bamas bamboozled me into taking a badddddd ass second grade class. I was SUPPOSED to get TWO transition days with the permanent first grade teacher so she's not just left out there in the wind and so my kids could get used to my diminisged appearance.

No dice....I have a strong suspicion nobody ever secured a sub for the second graders. Their teacher was scheduled to be our yesterday, today, and Monday. But it seemed like they had to scramble for the one they got yesterday. So they called me in to cover until the sub came.

They respected my authoritah, but I know it would wear out after like two hours. She's got some real wack jobs in that class.

Anyway, so they BEGGED me to sub today for the second graders, realizing that I had already said I would not be available next week and the week after.

*le sigh*

Because of this recent development, I won't be going to my high school homecoming afterall. Me and a coworker both went to the same school, and we had decided to go together. (She has the car, lol) But then she said she had to do something, which was cool -- I could just dip out a little early and get on the bus to go to the game. That would have worked perfectly with the first grade teacher and myself being in the same room.

But no...now I have to stay until 3:15, the very end of the day, and most likely later knowing these little wack jobs. By the time I actually arrive at Coolidge, the game will be more than half over and I won't have a ride back home. Not that a ride is necessary, but I'm not feeling the bus afte a certain time.

Okay, I'm not feeling the bus ever these days, lol.

So, I will be bringing my happy ass home tonight. I need to start catching up on sleep now so over the next two weeks I can make good use of my "sabbatical."

And YES....I really really do have an announcement to make over the weekend. Gotta follow the protocol though, so let me tell my inner circle first, then I will post it in my blog.

Have a great day!

Posted on November 5, 2004 at 6:41 AM | Comments (1)

Fall Back

It is early as hell, yo.

I have like 50 minutes to do random things before I head out to work. I WOULD just go to work early and clean up the classroom, but I really don't feel like walking all the way to the back door. (Nobody is in the front office to buzz me in before a certain time.)

I guess I'll work backwards....I am thisclose to making an announcement about the book. Some more conversations need to be had, but I am pretty sure that in my heart, I know what decision to make. I can't wait to be able to tell you all what the next move is going to be.

Along those same lines, I recently purchased Guerilla Marketing for Writers. Very very good stuff. Yesterday, I read a lot of this book and did a lot of thinking about the novel(s). This book reinvigorated a lot inside of me that I had over the summer. (That might be a major hint to those of you who know me well, but I still won't say right now what the decision is. Hell, it might change.)

The trick-or-treaters last night...we got so many more trick-or-treaters than we have before. Some of them were BOOTLEG. How you gonna roll up to my house with jeans, a sweater, and vampire teeth? And your parent is there just smiling like it's okay? How much are costumes from CVS? Come on.

Then my neighbors had the nerve to come begging for candy with NO costume! What the hell!? I started not to give them anything, little lazy runts. How dare you.

Yes, I take this holiday seriously.

Saturday, I visted one of my kids in the hospital. Sad. I need to go back and give him a picture of myself, since he asked for one.

Friday was the big "Fall Festival." Long story short, why did my kids act like a bunch of drunkards at an Irish Pub? We sat our first graders at clusters and left a lot of open space in the middle for our table with the food. We had so much candy it was sickening. SO MUCH! Anyway, so these kids kept toasting each other with little huggies. Pure sugar, water, and food coloring. Possibly some cocaine. But they were too young to understand that you say "cheers" when you toast, so they said:

"TOAST!"

Then, after they got tired of saying "Toast!" they said:

"Happy Halloween!"

then:

"Happy Fall Festival!"

then:

"Happy birthday!"

then finally:

"We love you Ms. ______ and Mr. Darden!"

It was cool....they deserved a nice little party. Most of them are hard workers. However, the insanity began when they started spontaneously singing and chanting.

That's why I say they became drunkards at an Irish pub. If they knew "Piano Man" by Billy Joel, I'm sure they would have sung it.

Okay, so first they started singing some random kids songs, like maybe the Pinball number song from Sesame Street, which I taught them earlier in the year. And maybe the bumblebee song. Me and my colleague were like "What the hell?" Who spontaneously sings at a party?

THEN...they went from drunken Irish pub to jook joint/church house/gin house. These bamas started singing the chants I taught them earlier in the day. Imagine thirty first graders chanting:

"Ice ice, baby! Too cold, too cold! Ice ice, baby! The black and gold!"

Oh my lordy. What have I done? The only reason we taught them the chant was to kill about ten minutes of time between an assembly and recess. Okay, more like twenty minutes, because we had time to teach them a variation of "All of my love..."

So of course, the next logical step for the little runts, high on sugar, was to spontaneous start singing:

"Alllllll of my looooove....my peace and happiness....I'm gonna give tooo _________ [name of school]"

After the first verse, why did these little bamas start rising to their feet like they were in church? What the hell!!!

THEN, they were swift enough to remember the other part of the chant that we made up, to be chanted at the same time as all of my love is sung:

"First grade! We are the leaopards! We're in the first grade! We are the mighty mighty leaopards!"

Why did first grade damn near have a probate show? See, this is why greeks don't need to teach, lol.

So anyway, they settled down and enjoyed the five course junk food meal we fed them. It was good though.

Whew.

I have a lot of cleaning to do this week before the regular teacher comes back on Thursday. But the good thing is while she is teaching, I can be grading papers and whatnot.

Okay....I have more time to kill, I think I am going to read some more.

PEACE!

Posted on November 1, 2004 at 7:07 AM | Comments (1)

It's FRIDAY!

I can't believe I almost made it through the week. I came down with a bit of a sore throat, but drinking plenty of orange juice and taking some allegra should clear that right up.

Damn this changing weather.

Damn those germy kids.

Today, the first grade will be celebrating the Devil's Birthday! Okay, but seriously, why do these kids parents tell their kids such nonsense? Any idiot can do their research and see that Halloween is not satanic, much less is it the Devil's Birthday. EVERYBODY knows the Devil's Birthday is April 27! D'UH!

lol

Luckily, it wasn't one of my kids who said it....I do know one of them doesn't go trick-or-treating, though. Oh well, we'll be stuffing candy down their throats the last hour of school. Woo hoo! And this is SOCIAL STUDIES....learning about how Americans celebrate cultural traditions.

Okay, not really, but that's what we say if the Superintendent walks in, lol.

Wouldn't it be messed up if the Superintendent reads this and decided to come to my classroom?

[censored]

Anyway.....I guess I should get off of here....I was a smidge late yesterday! First time like ever!

PEACE!

Posted on October 29, 2004 at 6:41 AM | Comments (0)

Surprise!

Guess what?

My coworkers threw me a surprise "Job well done!" party!

The early childhood team really conned me....here I was enjoying my lunch break, eating my peanut butter and jelly sandwich when I said "Hey, I need to run off some photocopies." Went to the copy room and ran out of paper...went to the office, where one of the administrators was like "Oh, they need you downstairs!" So I am like holy crap, were my kids THAT bad that they needed me after only 15 minutes of lunch? So I went to the caf...the teacher on duty was like "Oh, I think they need you in Ms. _______'s room."

So I am like arrrrrrgggh, I thought we didn't have to do the balloon launch if we ain't want to?

(Long story short -- we had a balloon launch to celebrate peace month, and I didn't participate because launching helium balloons into the air is bad for the environment.)

I had hoped to simply back out of the event instead of making a big to-do about it.

So I go to Ms. ______'s room and there are already some teachers there. My dumb ass doesn't get the CONNECTION. So I tell her "Yeah, I didn't plan on doing the balloon launch (for the above stated reasons) but I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. So then it's like this big four way conversation. (Side note: when I told her, she said "Oh, you're one of THOSSSSEEEE...." lol like niggas can't be pro-environment!")

FINALLY, after my big opinonated liberal speech (like Julia Sugarbaker from Designing Women, the Pre-K teacher, who is also a Soror was like "Well, we know how you feel about that, but what do you think about THIS!" and she points me in the direction of this niiiiice spread of food on the table IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM, by my ass is too busy getting huffs and puffs about the environment to even notice it.

I was like "Oh my gosh!" and it was all for me, to tell me good job, good luck, and all that good ish. It wasn't really a goodbye party, but I guess everyone knows I am taking a few weeks off after this assignment is over.

Which reminds me...since my principal DID sign the card, maybe I might want to brief him on my life's plans. You know, just an FYI.

So it was nice! They got me two cards! Pasta salad, deviled eggs, fruit punch, and ritz crackers.

Is it tacky if I mention they took up a small collection for me? Cuz a nigga really did get a call from the bill collector within an hour after the party, hahahaha.

**********

Ooooooh something else happened today.

So we had some kind of peace assembly. Did I mention that October is Peace month? I know, the poor Latinos can't get a calendar month, but we gotta celebrate PEACE.

Go figure.

So today's theme was how to say no to drugs and violence or something. One of my kids was in it, and she recited her line really well.

But tell me this....WHY did one of the other first graders jump in the program and recite his line....FROM THE PREVIOUS ASSEMBLY????

Me and my teammate were DYING.

"Our hands represent peace!" *big grin*

Luckily, nobody really understood what he said except for the word "peace" so it was all gravy. But me and my teammate knew that he was referring to a big old peace mural we made earlier in the month.

So surreal....but so funny.

*********

I have been telling a few of my parents that next week is my last week....they really been all hurt up! Okay, like two said "Awwwwww...." I think it's moreso cuz kids hate change. But at least I am still in the neighborhood, and will probably sub for them in the future.

I'ma miss the little anklebiters, I hope I don't cry on the last day.

I so would.

Posted on October 27, 2004 at 9:22 PM | Comments (0)

*yawn*

Gotta go to work....

My weekend was blah....on Saturday, I went to the salon and barber shop again. It was great getting my locs maintained at three weeks on the dot. My barber shop experience was quick. Man, barber shops are a trip. Somebody's always got jokes.

This is my last full week of work before the permanent teacher comes back. She is fakin'.....everybody knows she doesn't really want to come back. She didn't even give a firm start date when she came to staff development on Friday. I'm going to tell my principal that I need to be finished BY November 5, meaning the permanent teacher needs to be back on the third. He promised us two days transition time.

The fifth is my high school homecoming....I am thinking I can work it out so I can be a sub on that day. Wouldn't that be cool? Getting paid to go to Homecoming.

Shh, don't tell nobody.

Posted on October 25, 2004 at 6:57 AM | Comments (0)

They Parents Ain't Teach Me Shit (with apologies to dead prez)

It's Thursday....the last day of school for the week. As tomorrow is Staff Development day, I will have to go to work, but the little anklebiters will be at home. Teachers, instead, have to go to these silly meetings all day.

Fair trade off, though. I need a break from the rugrats. I don't get to see my intermediate level colleagues that much, either.

Went to a Union meeting yesterday. It was really....interesting.

The more I stay in this camp, the more I want to just open my own independent school. I swear, if I ever did become like a for real millionaire, I would do it.

I think. Or maybe I would just throw all types of donations at certain public schools abd afterschool programs. And parenting programs.

Parents of the '00s suck ass, yo. Some of them expect the school and afterschool programs to raise them. I've got parents (foster parents included) who are really trifling about paying for kids field trips, sending them to school late (if at all) not sending notes when they are absent. And it's only hurting the kid in the long run. Now, I might have been absent a lot (cuz a little nigga DID stay home for even just the sniffles) but I NEVER came late! I mean come on, what are you doing where you can't wake your kid up and have him or her at school by 8:40?

SOME parents really are holding it down though. I have about five parents who I think are really good at reinforcing at home what the kid learns at school, both socially and academically.

Speaking of education....my girl Nikki sent me an email about "A Better Chance." I need to somehow forward that info to the parents of the little genius I taught last year. This lil boy is really nice, BRILLIANT in reading and math, and is also athletic. A boarding school would be perfect for somebody like him! It wasn't the right thing for me -- I wasn't ready to be that independent at a young age. And nowadays, I am focused on the INDIVIDUAL.....why should a kid stay in a crappy school system just to improve the system's scores and averages?

Don't get me wrong....it would sting if I couldn't send my kids to Coolidge. I really would like my kids to be able to say they are following their father and grandmother's legacy.

Anyway....oh yeah, one more thing. Thanks for all the love! I have been getting mad emails from folks, and I promise I will return all of them when I get more than a few minutes. (I see you, PP-O!)

Have a great day!

ADDENDUM: So, I forgot to say that yesterday, I found some free Colgate toothpaste samples in one of the closets, and it went along with a dental hygeine video that we watched. This kids acted like they were on OPRAH getting free CARS and shit! I was like "I have free toothpaste packets for you all" and they were like YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!

So then I Meryl Streeped it up and gave the extra samples to the other first grade class. I did the voice and everything: "Boys and girls, I have a surprise for all of you. We've got FREE TOOTHPASTE SAMMPLLLLLLLLEEEEES!"

YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!

"And everybody's getting onnnnnnnnnne!"

YYAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!

Posted on October 21, 2004 at 6:44 AM | Comments (6)

Classroom

I am gonna miss these kids, but lord knows I am ready for two weeks, JUST TWO WEEKS, to take care of some writing related responsibilities. After talking to one of my homies last night, I am realizing that I have a LOT more research to do for novel #3 than I anticipated. And I don't mind it, because after talking to him, I have found that missing element that I was searching for.

I rearranged my kids desks yesterday. I turned our carpet the long way (hard to explain) and I am dispersing some of my better-abled kids with some of the lesser-abled kids. And of course, isolating the kids that keep running their mouths.

And...I need to clean that room like nobody's business. I also need to find enough work for these kids to do independently for about three hours -- enough time for me to record all the grades I haven't had time to record in the past few weeks.

This would be perfect if I had a laptop.

*****

I just realized I am supposed to have lunch with a Soror this weekend. I need to ask here if we are still on for that, or if she is going to sneak away from her conference and go to Howard's Homecoming instead.

To all who read this, have a great day!

Posted on October 20, 2004 at 7:30 AM | Comments (0)

Thursdays

Thursdays are sooooooo hard. Not impossible, but tough. Every hour needs to be planned out to the second. We didn't get as much accomplished in the classroom as I would have liked. But it wasn't a bad day.

My kids recited a poem over the PA system during the morning announcements. It is a poem called "Ations" by the late, great Shel Silverstein. It had lots of big words, but they did great! Of course, some of them didn't show up on time, but they are all their by the time the announcements started. We got a lot of props for how well they did.

I think other teachers think I am doing WONDERS in the first grade in the abscence of the pemanent teacher. I think I am doing an okay job, but I'm not so sure I am advancing them by leaps and bounds. I mean, they ARE kids, ya know? I'm still struggling with my "below-level" group. But all in all, they are a good group.

*****

I've got lots of emails to return! The support for this site and my writing projects has been overwhelming, for real! I really appreciate everyone who has been visiting this site. By all means, if you enjoy the site, sign the guestbook. If you find yourself addicted to this diary, then please leave a comment. This site is supposed to be interactive, so interact!

*****

You will notice that my "Favorites" section is still under contruction. Basically, I wanted that to be one of the tightest, most entertaining parts of my site aside from the diary. I have a lot of favorite books, movies, tv shows, people, etc, that I want to share with you all. But I don't want to just give you a list and say "Here, buy these." I want to tell you WHY I love these things so, where you can get them, who introduced me to them, etc, etc.

It'll be great, I promise. It will depend on how soon I actually get the damn thing written.

*****

Some of you have been asking questions personally and on the message boards I frequent. The number one question is "When can I buy Lazarus?" Well firstly, thanks for asking! Unfortunately, the book is not currently for sale, but we ARE surveying interest! So if you DO want a copy of this book, you MUST send us an email letting us know! When the book does become available, people who email us directly will get priority. We want to take care of the true, die hard fans first -- as it should be!

Other people want to know how they can help. Well, you can help in many ways. One very small way is just to tell people about the site. A really easy way would be to just email the link to all your friends, or send it through your instant message programs. Tell people through word of mouth. If you are Greek, tell your prophytes, sands, brothers, sorors, whomever. Lazarus will definitely interest them!

The more people that know about Old Gold Soul, the more people will know about Lazarus. As an artist, what I want to do is share my work with the world. To be perfectly honest, being an artist has a lot to do with personal satisfaction -- the fact that I created something that people will (hopefully) fall in love with. That's so much more fulfilling than being on a best seller list.

...though being number one on the New York Times best seller list wouldn't be a BAD thing.

If you have other specific ideas on how you'd like to help, feel free to email me!

God bless and peace out!

Posted on October 14, 2004 at 4:23 PM | Comments (0)

First Day of School: Done!

Wooooooo hoooooo!

Day one of first grade was really cool. I got to work kind of early as I usually do, but I didn't really have anything to do other than say hi to the other teachers and jam to Golden Boys by Res a few times. My agenda was already on the board and the name tags were already written.

I have 15 students but I can't remember the male:female ratio. We have one girl who transferred from Serra Leone who I think will be a challenge. Not behavior wise, but I think she doesn't really understand spoken English as well as she should to really excel in the first grade. I will do my best (of course) but I really could use a workshop or two on how to deal with English Lanuage Learners. (That's the new term.)

I found out hot teacher has a boyfriend, booooo. Well, the other teacher is still hot, too. *sigh* But then again, the majority of the young teachers at my school are hot.

Or I could just be a dirty little whore.

Anyway.....it was just a great day, I was actually smiling at the end.

I really want kids. For real. Not NOW, but soon. Like, I can see myself being ready for kids at 30.

(If my career takes off -- I am not trying to raise my kids as poor as I am currently, lol.)

Posted on September 1, 2004 at 8:22 PM

New Faces

The new teachers I work with are HOT. Got me thinking I might still have some hetero left in these bones of mine. Turns out that one of them is the best friend of a Zeta I know from when I was in grad school. I am sure I have seen her around campus before, but she didn't seem to remember me.

(Sidenote: Sucks saying "when I was in grad school" instead of something that implies I actually finished.)

She is so nice....both of the first-year teachers are incredibly cool, so it seems after two days. It's weird having other teachers there who are around my age. The only other people my age before were another sub and a kindergarten aide. Both male.

Even still, other than the pay and benefits (ha! like those are small factors) I am not sure that I would want to be a permanent teacher. I see what these teachers go through with all the bueracracy. It's crazy. It seems like your job isn't safe during your first five years, and hell, even beyond that.

I hope the students don't try to eat the new teachers alive. It's not like they don't have experience with urban kids, they do. But no one can prepare you for just how big of a snot rag a child can be once they feel comfortable with you.

Posted on August 29, 2004 at 8:33 AM

Back to Work

Well, today is my last day of summer. Tomorrow I go into work for "staff development." I just looked at the schedule and realized we have THREE HOURS of "in-service" -- don't really know what that means exactly -- but it's going to be another one of those stupid things where we learn how to integrate art into the curriculum.

From what I observed, only a handful of teachers actually implement the things discussed at these workshops. All-in-all, I think teachers are going to continue doing what works best for them. The only way you could "make" everybody get with the program is to hire all first-year teachers.

Imagine the uproar.

I enjoy being a sub, though. It's flexible and it's fun. I feel like more of a community rep than a teacher. I teach, of course, but being from this community makes me feel more responsible for the kids.

I cannot wait to be PAID again though. I capitalized PAID not because subbing makes me a lot of money, but some money is better than none. I decided to chip away at my credit card debt for my first few paychecks. Like, my entire check needs to go to my debt. I am feeling a little crippled by not being able to use my credit cards -- can't get plane tickets, can't shop on amazon or ebay. It sucked not having the money to get my mom anything significant for her birthday, but she understands.

The good thing about subbing is that it doesn't feel like work. I think it will this fall because I will be starting off the year and sort of charting my own course, but in general you just go in there, give the kids work, and chill.

God bless those teacher's editions. They are extremely helpful for the higher grades. No, not just because they have all the answers, but because you can really tell they are designed to be taught in sequence. They also have a lot of activities for the quicker kids and the slower kids.

It just sucks that my school system creates these pacing charts that basically screw up what the textbook says. I mean, wouldn't it make sense to start at the beginning of a textbook and have goals of continuing through to the end, or at least getting very close to it?

Nope, not in my school system. Thinking back, if I had learned in sequence in the sixth grade, I might not suck at math to this day.

Anyway....it's first grade I am teaching. First grade is not hard. I am a man. Kids fear men. Discipline will be easy. I do need to review the rules on corporal punishment though. Did you know you can't make kids stand in the corner anymore? You can't make them write sentences either....my fifth and sixth grade teacher STAYED giving us some sentences to write!

That's why kids are messed up now....they aren't afraid of anything.

School starts on September 1, I believe. My biggest fear is not the students, but just making sure my kids start out strongly. I want them READING by the time their teacher gets back from maternity leave. Not saying I can work miracles, but I definitely plan of working on phonics. I am not sure, but I think phonics was only big when I was in elementary school. I think they moved away from phonics and into reading stories.

If that's true, that's kind of dumb.....well, I can understand the need for reading comprehension at a young age, BUT if you can't understand the individual words and syllables, or can't say them, what's left to comprehend?

As we used to say in undergrad, "Hey, dumbass!"

Education makes me so sick sometimes. I wouldn't mind opening a private school one day, but the kids who would need it most would never be able to afford it.

So basically, I have to become filthy rich and run a free private school.

Awww, remember Freedom Schools?

Yes, I am that random....at any rate, I want to write a new entry but with a different category...stay tuned.

Posted on August 25, 2004 at 10:28 AM