Oooooohio!

I am in the food court of the Columbus airport, just as exhausted as I want to be, but not even a little bit pissed off that I missed my flight this morning. :-)

I just spent two days with some of the most awesome people on the face of the planet. Those people are members of Shades, Ohio University's gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender organization for students of color.

Yes, you heard right...OU has a group for gay students of color. They, along with other organizations at OU including the LGBT Program Center, brought me out this week to be the keynote speaker for National Coming Out Week. My major appearance was on last night, Wednesday, National Coming Out Day.

I arrived on Tuesday morning and was greeted by Jon, the Graduate Assistant in the LGBT center, and Adrian, a member of Shades and a dancer. The ride from Columbus to Athens was nice and uneventful; however, I wasn't ready for all the dang road kill!!!! There were sooooo many dead animals on the highway -- and the dead skunks really did smell!

I stayed at the Ohio University Inn, which was just off campus. Very, very nice room. The king-sized bed was more than I needed, but I slept like a baby every single time I put head to pillow. I ordered room service and was knocked the eff out for two hours.

Jon took me on a tour of the Ohio University campus and it is a lot nicer than I expected it to be. Sure, I don't know what exactly I expected, but it was smaller and more comfy than I thought it would be. Perhaps I assume everything in Ohio is big because of OSU, lol

I got a few souvenirs for myself and family. Didn't realize Ohio's colors were green and white -- BARF! I mean, it's distinguished, but it's just not...festive, I reckon.

The greek section of the store was kinda lame, but I did see some things I had never seen before. Apparently they make "paddle fabric" now. You can decorate it with self adhesive jewels and ribbon and letters. Personally, I thought it looked tacky and would be better on a pillow than a paddle, but hey, c'est la vie.

I visited the cultural center and I really enjoyed the Director (Linda) and the Associate Director (LeRoy) who also co-advises the NPHC and is a Kappa.

He is also, in all probability, one of the three finest men in Athens. And yes, I met the other two while I was there as well.

We ate at the Blue Gator which was so-so on the ambiance, but GREAT on the food! I had a grilled portobello mushroom sandwich. I only ate part of it because I was already full, and like a dummy I had a roll with dinner, lol. But I was reall good. I sat next to Horace (frat) who is holding down Phi Chapter. We were joined by Linda, LeRoy, Mickey from the LGBT center, Winsome from the cultural center, some sorority women, Dana the Chi O and NPHC co-advisor, and Jaylen, who must have been a GA for the cultural center. We had a grand old time.

So we had my first discussion. I spoke to the NPHC about a variety of topics, but primarily the issues of maintaining self-determination as chapters (standing up for yourselves, remaining active, remaining advocates of all black people) and homosexuality in fraternities/sororities. I moreso answered questions about my own experiences. The Deltas in particular were really attentive, taking notes, and really making good eye contact. My frat was also there, a Sigma, an SGRho, and another Kappa aside from LeRoy. The rest of the audience (20 all together) were members of Shades, other advisors, and guests. The pictures were kinda blurry because I had messed up the settings before I gave Dana the camera.

After that, I went and chilled at the hotel, getting a FULL EIGHT HOURS of sleep!!!!! I haven't had eight hours of sleep in months!!!

Wednesday morning, woke up, ate an apple, worked on me remarks for the evening lecture, and went to lunch with Mickey Hart and the gay faculty and staff group. It was at a chinese buffet. I hadn't eaten at a buffet in a while. The staff and whatnot were very friendly, as were the two students who were co-chairing Out Week.

Then I spent some alone time shopping (didn't get anything other than lotion (lol), an APO shot glass, and an Alpha cross stitch kit -- don't sleep, them joints can run up to 15 bucks! I paid 4.95 on sale!)

Came back to the LGBT office for some quality time with Evan -- what can I say about Evan that wouldn't be cliche? He is beautiful -- a term I never use lightly. He is a hero. He is the founding president of Shades. He is humble and modest. He is someone I am so glad that I know. He and I chatted about a lot of things. I am looking forward to seeing him again!

But then, at 3 or so, I was scheduled for a film interview with a broadcast journalism student. I had no idea what to expect -- but in the door came a tall, light (lighter than me), built, hip-hop/neo soul lookin, square eyeglass wearing HUNK OF MAN with hands the size of YOUR LIFE.

And then his friend/cameraman was hot too!!!! Turns out his friend is the godbrother of Maurice, this cat I went to Georgetown with. It's funny because they were all fair and light-skinned and all from Athens. I was like "Are you fucking kidding me? Do I have to move to Athens now?"

But the interview was great....my interviewer was professional and put me at ease. He asked some great questions, too.

I have totally blanked out on his name though...... I remember being unsure how to pronounce his last name. And when he signed out, he used some sort of acronym, so that messed me all up, too. lol

After that, went back to the 'telly, ironed, and got ready for the speech. I was nervous and trying not to go in Diva mode. When I got back to the Baker (student) center, I was trying to find my inner balance, but it seemed like everyone around me was either staring at me or talking to me, lol.

BUT, the speech happened.....you know, sometimes I just blank out and have no recollection of what I said or how I said it, but I just pray that I don't offend anyone in the process.

There were mad white people there! I mean, okay, I knew I was going to a white school to speak, but there were less minorities than I imagined and more white folks. I think at Georgetown it would have been the opposite -- a lot of black people who were either gay friendly or curious, and a handful of supportive white folks.

But everybody was really receptive to my message, which was essentially admonishing mainstream gay culture to accept the differences and nuances of black gay culture. To not treat "gay pride" as monolithic, but something that is beautiful in its many facets.

After that, I signed books and took pictures with my new friends in Shades. Then Na'im finally found me and we had a drink back at the 'telly and reconnected.

Now, here us is in the airport cuz we missed our flight this morning! I was running a little late because my stomach was acting up -- on top of that, trafffic had the nerve to be congested! But it's fine....life is too short to be wound up about being forced to chill at an airport.

I am really thankful to have been invited to speak to these wonderful, wonderful people. I believe I've made some new friends for life.

Posted on October 12, 2006 at 11:13 AM | Comments (5)

Inspiration

Milt wants to know where do I get the inspiration for my characters...

Well Milt, that's actually a great question -- a much better-phrased one than "How much of this is autobiographical?" Argh! I hate that question!

In all of my work, the characters are fully developed before the whole story is mapped out. In a project I am working on now, for instance, I am starting with the characters and a situation -- no clue how the situation resolves, but I can tell you what the characters look like, what kind of cars they drive, what their kids do, how they were raised, etc.

So by the time the story begins, I already know these characters....I know how they would respond in a given situation.

Are they totally, one hundred percent fiction? Nah, maybe only 99 percent. That one percent is one of two things:

1) A character may visually have been inspired by someone I know.

or

2) A little bit of a character's experiences mirror experiences I have researched, read about, seen, or experienced myself.

But mostly, my stories evolve from what-if scenarios.

What if.... a guy pledged a fraternity and got outed halfway through?

What if....a guy dated a varsity basketball player?

Etc, etc. Did I ever date a basketball player? I WISH! Did I get outed while pledging? Nope.

Does Adrian Collins talk like me? Yes.

Does Adrian Collins look like me? No.

Does Savion behave like me? Yes.

Does Nina joke like me? Yes.

You see? It's not merely a retelling of my life -- it's a story that reflects various parts of my life, the parts that are also reflected in yours.

Posted on September 27, 2006 at 8:59 PM | Comments (2)

Cover Designer

Cleaning out my super old emails and discovered something for you aspiring authors....a cover designer:

http://www.macropublishing.com/

I obviously used my own designer, but there's a link for those of you who want to try them.

Posted on July 2, 2006 at 3:29 PM | Comments (0)

The mojo is comin back......

As I get settled into the new job and am no longer the last hired, I am finding my mojo and my groove in all aspects of writing.

I am writing in my personal journal with regularity, hashing out the things in my life that I need to work out on my own.

Covenant is even closer to fruition.... keep on bearing with me!

And I am hoping...really really hoping....that I can bring this blog back to it's former glory. I think I will have a rotating theme for every day so that I can get back into the habit. I need -- have -- to write every day, especially now! I love love LOVE my job, but it can't consume me.

I was led to work with youth....but I was born to write.

Posted on May 14, 2006 at 8:40 PM | Comments (0)

Updates

Well, Covenant is still on the way, though y'all probably don't believe me, LOL.

It will be a limited release....I hate when recording artists say "this one is for the fans" because no, it's really to get paid. But Covenant really is for the fans. I might not even make it available on Amazon. We'll see.

As I make moves in my career outside of writing, 2006-07 will be time to make moves within my writing career.

Lazarus was good. Covenant is great. It's time for me to make power moves, ya know?

What those will be exactly, I don't know yet. Well, other than establishing myself more as a speaker and expert.

Do I want a book deal on a major house? Or do I want to establish myself as a permanent independent press?

If I pursue the book deal route, that's a lot of uncertainty. I am kind of tired of dealing with agents who are really all about getting paid. I had an extremely negative impression after dealing with the agent of a friend and I'm leery of proceeding down that route again.

I mean, I know I am a good writer. I also know I am not perfect and that the best is yet to come -- but I know that I'm good and that even more people deserve to read my work.

I've sold well, considering my very limited release. No, I haven't sold enough to quit my job. ;-) But I have sold close to the same amount as a few traditionally published peer authors.

I need a good publicist. That's pretty much the start right there. I have yet to find one that really speaks to me.

I do have a "the one that got away story" though.....there is an actor who I admire that I sent a review copy of Lazarus to, through his "people." Well, his people LOVED the book. And I vibed with him very well, too. He had the connections I felt I needed, yet I wasn't going to rely solely on him to make it happen. I was prepared (and he knew) that I was willing to WORK for this.

He had never represented an author before, and I was cool with that -- he had a thirst for achievement and I knew I wouldn't be unsuccessful if I worked with him.

Alas, his life was busier than I could have anticipated. I think that he was more enthusiastic about my novel than his other projects would allow him to be. We drifted apart, I haven't heard from him in months, and now I don't have his contact info because of the great Outlook Fiasco of 2006.

You know what....fuck that.... he's finna BE my publicist.

Posted on May 9, 2006 at 8:19 AM | Comments (0)

National Multicultural Greek Council -- Success!

Well this weekend I went to New York to be a guest speaker for the Spring Conference of the National Multicultural Greek Council. The theme was Namaste, which means "recognizing the equality of all & paying honor to the sacredness of all."

The conference itself was amazing. I came during lunch, stayed for the first roundtable discussion, and then I was on. It was so great and humbling to be surrounded by so many people who were national leaders and even founders of their organizations. These were fraternities and sororities I had previously only heard about through the internet.

The attendees didn't know what to expect, as I was only listed on the program as "Rashid Darden of Old Gold Soul." So for all I know, they expected a lounge act, lol. But what I presented was an integrated lecture about the challenge and responsibilities of Multicultural Fraternities and Sororities. I used Lazarus and Covenant as springboards for those discussions.

I was concerned that I would be boring people with so much talking, so I did my best to include the attendees at the beginning. I also included some funny anecdotes from my own collegiate experiences.

I wrapped up by reading a passage from Covenant in which Calen asks Adrian if he would do it all again. (It's all about the pregnant pauses, y'all, lol)

I was sooooo taken aback by the responses....people were really feeling the remarks I made and the excerpts from the novel. I actually sold REALLY well, too. I was surprised to be honest. I guess I keep underestimating myself.

All in all, I truly felt the love from the NMGC and the individual members. I am looking forward to working with any and all of them again!

I'll upload the pics as soon as I can.

Posted on May 1, 2006 at 8:29 AM | Comments (1)

The Cover

If you haven't noticed, the cover is here:

It is not finished. Sure, you might love it, but I know that there are improvements to be made.

That said, the release date for Covenant has been pushed back. The primary reason is the unfinished cover. The secondary reason is my overestimation of how many pre-orders I would receive.

I failed on that count. Far fewer people supported Covenant this time around, and that's cool. But it does have an impact on how quickly I can get this novel out.

I make very little money in my day job. I am not a teacher -- I am a teacher's aide. Big difference. Of course I have savings, but an aide's savings are far different from the savings of a teacher. When I have pre-order drives, it's not just to measure interest in the novel, but it's a partial fundraiser. I reward the people who really really want the book by making sure that they have the first shot at ordering it. I also make sure they receive the book first. That didn't work this time. Sure, people supported. But not in the numbers I imagined.

The book will not be ready in time for Book Expo America, which is my greatest disappointment.

Right now, I cannot say how soon it will be finished because the cover art still isn't ready. I want to state right here in the open that I love my cover designer and will continue my relationship with him. I am lucky to have such a talented artist in my corner. Blame the delay on both of us being perfectionists.

I say this not to gather sympathy -- this is my project, and therefore, my deal. But I ask everyone who did pre-order to bear with me as you have since I started this process. Covenant will come. Covenant will be hot. Covenant will be better than even Lazarus.

So, that's what's up with the book.

--RD

Posted on March 26, 2006 at 4:12 PM

...For that, I apologize

I realize that there haven't been any updates about Covenant lately, and I apologize for that. There really hasn't been anything to tell.

The art department will have a cover for me to show you next week. I really thought I'd have it by now to show you. But I do want to thank all of you who pre-ordered strictly on the strength of the excerpt and loving the first novel.

Next week, I will also have a firm date on when the books will be shipped.

People frequently ask me how pre-orders are going on Covenant. I'll just be honest: not good. The first week was WONDERFUL! I have a long list of fans of the first novel that just can't wait to read the continuing adventures. Those pre-orders are a very large part of what makes Old Gold Soul a successful small business. (And by successful I mean that we can at least make the product, lol)

But the challenge has been in reaching the many people who bought Lazarus at Pride events or on Amazon.com. I haven't been able to "convert" people who buy books when they see them to people who pre-order books they really want. (It doesn't help that my work life has been so hectic the past few months.)

So if you read this blog.....please pre-order Covenant. I really need your help now as much as I did last year at this time.

Just click on THE BOOK at the top of this page, then click on ORDER to use PayPal or to print out an order form.

Posted on March 2, 2006 at 7:26 AM | Comments (0)

Excerpt of Covenant

September 1

I woke up in bed next to a glassy-eyed stranger, not knowing who he was, but feeling oddly at ease with him.

“What the fuck?” I said softly. My eyes adjusted to the harsh rays of sunlight piercing my blinds until I was able to focus on the furry stranger in my bed. His eyes, genuinely made of glass, stared back at me, smiling – elated that he had been placed in my care.

“A damn teddy bear,” I grumbled, grinning on the inside. He wore a “Somebody at Potomac University Loves Me” shirt over his light brown fur. He wasn’t a large bear by any means, but large enough to be noticeable to the visitors of my room.

He did it again.

The last thing I remembered from the night before was talking to him, he who had stopped by unexpectedly just to say hello. I was already in bed when he came by. Heavy rapping at the door made me believe that one of my roommates had forgotten their key.

I swung the door open, surprised to see him standing there.

“Adrian,” he said, sizing me up in a deliberate floor-to-ceiling gesture with his head.

“Hey,” I said, feeling naked in my white sleeveless t-shirt, which clung tightly to my slender torso while my blue basketball shorts slung low on my hips, revealing the white FTL band of my boxer briefs. .

“Can I come in?” he asked, peering around the door and trying to take a glance at my living room.

“Um,” I said, uncertain whether he was intent on breaking the pact before the school year had even begun.

“Dude, just for a minute,” he said. “You know I’m not going to go back on my promise. I just…I just had to see you before we…we…”

“Okay,” I interrupted. “You can stay for a while.”

I tried to hide my smile from him, so I quickly walked toward the kitchenette. “You want something to drink?”

“Naw,” he said, closing the door behind him. He sat down on the old brown couch and let his old, tattered gym bag fall to the floor at his feet while I got myself a glass of water. I sat in the gray cushioned chair across from him and slowly sipped my drink.

“You seem uncomfortable,” he said.

“Naw…just nervous, I guess.”

“Nervous?” he said, leaning forward on the couch, as close to me as he could without sliding off. “I just saw you like two weeks ago, dawg.”

“You know how we can get,” I said. “We’re just chillin’ one minute, then the next minute…well, you know.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I know. By the way, nice shorts.”

I immediately sat Indian style in the chair, trying to hide my slender brown legs underneath me.

“You don’t get it,” he said, laughing.

“What’s so funny?” I asked with a nervous smile.

“Those are my shorts,” he said. I looked down again. Sure enough, the shorts weren’t mine.

I looked at him, seeing a smile wider than the main Quad. It was infectious. Finally, the ice had been broken and I could smile in his presence again.

He was back in my life, if only for a few moments on the night before classes. We both stood up and hugged in the middle of my living room.

“I missed you,” he whispered, lips brushing lightly against my ear.

“I missed you, too,” I said to him, through his chest.

“You were sleeping, weren’t you?” he asked. He backed away slightly, looking down to my eyes while holding on to my arms.

“Almost,” I said. “I was just lying in bed when you came over. I have a lot to do tomorrow.”

“Come on, then,” he said, letting his hands slide down my arms. “Go back to sleep.”

“Dude, you know I can’t just fall back to sleep now.”

“Yeah you can,” he said taking my hand and leading me to the short set of stairs leading to the bedrooms and bathroom.

“Which one is yours,” he asked as we crept through the darkened hallway.

“The middle,” I said. He had brought his gym bag downstairs with him as though he planned on spending the night.

We entered my dark room, lit only with the light of my computer screen. He sat down at my desk and started checking his email on my Dell. I got under the sheets and laid face up so I could see him.

“You ready for class tomorrow?” he asked me.

“Yeah,” I said. “Are you?”

“Yeah, I guess so. I hope I like all of them.”

“You will,” I said. He turned to face me in the darkness and smiled one last time before I fell asleep.

He must have hidden the teddy bear in his gym bag and put it next to me in bed before he let himself out of my apartment. He still loved me. His swagger, his smile, his voice, his deeds – they all called out to me, but I couldn’t answer. Not then, not yet. There was much work to be done before he and I would be ready to move forward.

***

When I woke up in the morning, I named the bear Miles and put him on my desk. Actually, I named him Miles because I rested him on top of my Miles Davis CDs. My apartment, located deep in Hurley Village, was already bustling with activity.

Calen was one of my favorite frat brothers and now my housemate. We were initiated together and had experienced many trials and tribulations to make it to that point. When we were at our darkest hour as a pledge class, Calen was one of the few who showed that he was in my corner regardless of the circumstances. From the outside looking in, we made for a rather odd pair. I was of average height, just shy of five feet, ten inches. Calen, on the other hand was six and a half feet tall, 250 pounds easy. He had a beautiful caramel complexion and a baby face, even though nothing else about him was juvenile.

His laughter emanating from the kitchen reminded me that we were to wear our fraternity shirts. It was a tradition in our chapter that we dressed in paraphernalia on certain days, like the first day of class or Homecoming. My burgundy shirt with old gold letters was already hung neatly in my closet, and khaki shorts were placed on the back of my chair. After I took a shower and clothed, I was ready to face my rambunctious housemates.

“Yo, what up Adrian?” my burly frat brother hailed from the kitchen table. “B-Chi!”

“Chi Phi!” I responded. Calen loved saying the fraternity call whenever he had the chance. He was definitely a super-neo. “What’s up, fellas?”

Adrian’s two teammates, Brad and Orlando were relaxing in the living room, watching SportsCenter on ESPN. They returned my greeting and went back to SportsCenter.

“Nice shirt,” Calen said playfully, while eating his cereal. “I got me one just like it.”

“Thanks,” I said sarcastically. “Matter of fact, you seem to be wearing it right now.”

We laughed, and I grabbed a bagel from the pantry. It was about 9:30am by the green numbers on the microwave’s clock, and there was much to be done today.

“You got a 10:15 class, yo?” Calen asked.

“Naw…I gotta go to the bank in the student center, though. That joint opens at ten.”

“Word?” Calen asked. “You know I had an 8:50 already, right?”

“What?” I asked incredulously, pausing while spreading cream cheese on my bagel. “I know you didn’t have no 8:50 on the first day…ain’t you back kinda early?”

“Naw, they just gave us the syllabus and we was out. Now I ain’t got shit to do until 12 or so.”

“Messed up,” I said, biting into my bagel. “Yo, you know first chapter meeting is in two weeks, right?”

“Yeah…not this Sunday, but the next one. Dude, you think Jamal is going to be active this year?”

Get the fuck off the line, Adrian! His voice rang in my ears as clear as the night he screamed at me to stop pledging his beloved Beta. He hit me -- numerous times -- but I stuck it out. I lost Savion. I sweat blood and tears to get these letters across my chest, but Jamal…I could feel my stomach wrapping around his fist once again. I felt nauseated.

“Adrian? Dude, what’s wrong?” my line brother asked.

“Jamal…” I said distantly. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him around yet.”

“Adrian, you know, I’m sorry,” Calen said. “I thought you had squashed that beef from last year. I won’t mention…I mean, don’t worry. Just forget about it.”

I slowly came back to my kitchen and away from the chaos of that infamous night.

“It’s okay,” I lied. “I’m not worried about it.” The truth was that I just didn’t feel like dealing with it. Brother Jamal hated my guts and it showed every single day since the night he tried to make me depledge Beta. He hated me because he discovered my secret, my only obstacle to Beta: my boyfriend.

When learning that I was gay wasn’t enough to make me drop Jamal and Brother Craig tried to beat the resolve out of me. I almost didn’t make it. I was ready to stop everything and just walk away from what I had invested so many weeks and months of my life into. I died that night. But like Lazarus, I rose again and finished what I started. At least, that’s why my pledge Dean named me “Lazarus” – the name embroidered on the back of my t-shirt.

Somebody tapped lightly on our door, and I raced to answer it, glad that something would distract me from the thought of Jamal. I peeped through the blinds and saw my favorite female in the world.

“Hey, boo!” Nina shouted, waking up any other sleeping soul in our entire apartment complex.

“Hey, chica!” I responded, a huge grin crossing my face.

“Your sexy ass roommates up in here?” she asked, huge afro puff bouncing behind her head as she spoke. Her deep brown skin radiated in the morning sunlight. She wore a floral print dress, a festive little number to celebrate the first day of class.

“Yeah, we here,” Calen said from behind me. “What’s up, girl?” Calen and Nina hugged with much familiarity.

“Hey boys!” she said over Calen’s shoulder to Brad and Orlando.

“Hi, Nina.” the boys said. They were easily transfixed by her beauty and her confidence. If Nina could do nothing else well, she could silence a room. Men loved her; women were painfully indifferent.

“You ready?” she asked. I picked up my book bag from just inside the doorway.

“Yup,” I said. “Let’s go.”

“Wait, Frat,” Calen said, grabbing my shoulder. I turned around and Calen shook my hand. Pulling each other close, we gave each other the secret handshake of the fraternity.

“Have a good day, Frat,” he said sincerely.

“Thanks, Frat,” I said, grinning slightly. Calen was a good man. He was the polar opposite of Jamal, and I loved him for it.

Nina and I walked through Hurley Village toward our student center on this magnificent September day. Late summer at Potomac University was always a beautiful time of year. The campus was clean, the trees were green, and everybody was happy. Even me.

“I am loving those letters, boy!” Nina said. I smiled.

“I’m glad to be wearing them, girl.” I sighed. Nina knew just how bad I wanted to be a Beta and what I sacrificed to get those three letters. She was the only person who stood behind me one hundred percent.

“You know, it’s not too late for you to be…I dunno, an AKA?” I suggested playfully.

“Adrian, don’t you start with me again,” Nina said, soflty grabbing my sleeve. “I don’t want no parts of these Greek hussies on this campus.”

“Ha!” I said. “No you didn’t call them hussies.”

“Yup. You know I don’t like being around too many women. They talk too much.”

“You a woman, too, honey.”

“Oh, I know, sweetie. But ummm…you really don’t wanna see me cut a bitch for putting her hands on me, do you?”

“Naw,” I said. “I guess I don’t. They’d be fucking with the wrong broad if they put their hands on Nina Bradley.”

“You damn right. Now, are we depositing or withdrawing from this here bank?” she asked as we crossed the glass doors into the student center.

“Depositing,” I said. “The father figure sent me a check the other day.”

“Well…that’s good. Right?”

“Yeah,” I said. “It’s damn good. A nigga is out of your life for a decade, and they start finding inventive ways to make it up to you.”

“Damn,” she said, partly because of my comment, but mostly because the line to the bank was so long. I grabbed a deposit slip and began to fill it out while we waited.

“Adrian, look look look,” Nina said.

“What?” I asked. “Where am I looking?”

“Second girl in line with the sandals on.”

“Okay…what about her?”

“Look…at her nasty ass feet.”

I looked at the girl from her short denim skirt to her light brown legs, and finally her ashy feet. I stifled laughter.

“That broad look like she been playing soccer in a flour pit, Adrian!”

“Hush!” I said quietly. “You already got me laughin’ at this chick in my letters, please don’t let her turn around and see us clowning her.”

“But she shouldn’ta come out the house without putting some Vaseline on them dogs! I mean, Adrian, come on now.”

Tears were streaming from my face by now, but at least I wasn’t laughing out loud.

“I mean, maybe,” I stopped and giggled. “Maybe she just got out of bed?”

Nina was now convulsing with stifled laughter herself. “But look at all her makeup, man! How she gonna put her face on but not her feet!”

And with Nina’s final quip we were gone, laughing so hard that the people in front of and behind us in line were trying to figure out what was going on. Meanwhile, homegirl in the front of the line was oblivious to our inside joke. Nina and I leaned on each other and exhaled a spontaneous “whoo” that signified the end of our episode. Just as that happened, I felt a familiar, strong hand on my shoulder. Nina saw the hand, looked behind me, and smiled. I turned around.

“Hey,” he said softly.

“Hey,” I said, smiling.

“Oh my god!” a shrill female voice said from behind him. “How are you doing! I am so glad I saw you! Give me a hug, Mr. Beta Man!”

I deflated on the inside, but kept my smile on my face as I hugged her. She was Taina Banks, a beautiful, friendly girl who served with me on the board of the NAACP the previous year. She was now the Vice President.

He…was Isaiah Aiken. Her boyfriend, and my…friend, as of the previous summer, when we were roommates.

“I am just so proud of you, Adrian!” Taina continued. “I remember you were looking tore up when you were on line for Beta, but I will never forget the night of your probate show. Who knew you could sang like that, boy!”

We all laughed. Taina and Nina were cordial to one another, but each had dominating personalities, so it would be interesting to see who might “win” the conversation.

“Hey, girl!” Taina then said to Nina. “Girl, that dress is soooo cute! Oh my God!”

“Thanks, girl!” Nina said. “And you are working those jeans!”

“Okay!” Taina said. “You know I got these right down on Wisconsin Avenue before summertime, right?”

“From the Gap?” Nina asked.

“Naw, girl, from Express!” Nina and Taina’s girl talk was legendary. Nina loved to camp it up around ultra-feminine women like Taina. It was almost like watching a man in drag. She wasn’t entirely comfortable around girly girls, but she would also not be outdone by any personality more gregarious than her own. As the ladies chatted, I focused on them. I was afraid to look at him…Isaiah.

“Did you see it?” he asked in a low tone, sure that neither Nina nor his girlfriend could hear.

“Yeah,” I replied. “You really shouldn’t…”

“I know,” he said. “I know.”

He playfully punched me on the shoulder, lightly at first, then a little harder. I inched forward in the line, and then turned around to face him. He was still the most attractive man on campus, and probably one of the more attractive men I had ever met. He was light-skinned, light-eyed, and had high cheekbones. His voice was incredibly deep. He didn’t look like the typical college basketball player, other than his height and broad shoulders. He was almost too “pretty” – a word that was often attributed to preppy, well kept black dudes who wore khakis and button-down shirts. But that was not Isaiah. His striking, runway worthy features were masked by oversized t-shirts, baggy jeans, and boots. And ironically, this basketball player preferred wearing football jerseys off the court. It was Isaiah’s shorts that I wore to sleep the night before.

“Don’t,” I said, moving my eyes toward Nina and Taina, who were still talking.

“All that,” he whispered “ain’t shit. That’s all about to be dead. You know where my heart is.”

“You can’t do this,” I whispered sharply. “Remember your promise.”

He frowned. I stepped backward from him.

“So, you coming back to NAACP this year?” Taina asked abruptly.

“Of course!” I exclaimed. “You know that’s where my roots are.”

“Well why you ain’t wanna be on the board this year?” she asked earnestly.

“Girl, you know I’ma be at those meetings. I just wanted to give somebody else a chance. And have some time to be a Beta, you know?”

“Yeah, I guess,” she smiled. “Well, me and Isaiah saw you two in here and just wanted to say hi! I am so glad you got to be his roommate this summer! He has not been able to stop talking about you!”

“Oh really?” I asked. Isaiah looked away as Taina continued to smile and nod.

“Yup!” she said. “It’s like you his new role model!”

We all had a good laugh at that one, but only Isaiah and I knew the danger involved. I couldn’t believe he was talking about me to her. If he was going to square things away with Taina, he needed to do it. Just don’t involve me in it.

“Well, we’re off! Toodles!” Taina said.

“Toodles, girlfriend!” Nina chirped. As they walked away, Taina slid her hand into Isaiah’s.

“I hate that bitch,” Nina said. I burst out laughing.

“Why?” I asked. “She ain’t did nothing to you!”

“She’s just so fuckin’ girly. I mean, damn. Tone that shit down.” We laughed some more. Although I knew she noticed – and Nina noticed everything – she didn’t mention the uneasy tension between me and Isaiah.

When I finally got to the teller window, I deposited my check. Five thousand dollars, paid to the order of Adrian Collins, from Adam Collins. My dad.

Some things change.

Did you enjoy what you read?

Posted on February 10, 2006 at 8:41 PM | Comments (6)

It's Payday!

It's Payday!

Have you pre-ordered Covenant yet?

Posted on February 3, 2006 at 7:47 AM | Comments (3)

Who will be the first to break?

On February 1, 2006, hundreds of fans of Rashid Darden's critically acclaimed novel LAZARUS will be waiting in virtual lines to pre-order COVENANT. A continuation of the life of Adrian Collins, COVENANT is the most eagerly anticipated sequel this year.

ADRIAN is on a mission to heal himself from his emotional wounds. Though he is fresh off the "burning sands" of Beta Chi Phi, he suddenly finds himself alone. He sets himself to the task of reconciling with his parents while forging his own path as a newly "out" man on campus – no easy feat when some fraternity brothers still harbor animosity toward him.

ISAIAH is struggling to redefine himself. He is a student, basketball player, and boyfriend to a beautiful young lady. But who does he want to be? Isaiah's friendship with Adrian awakens new feelings within him – feelings that are both exciting and terrifying.

Over the course of one summer these two men are united as friends - and more. What happens between them is kept secret, even from their closest friends. As they cross each other's paths on the close-knit campus, they yearn to finish what they started during that long, humid summer. Still, they made a promise...

COVENANT: Who will be the first to break?

***

COVENANT by Rashid Darden – exclusively available for pre-order NOW at http://thebook.oldgoldsoul.com

Order NOW and receive your book FIRST -- before all reviewers and publishing professionals!

(Stay tuned to www.oldgoldsoul.com for the unveiling of the cover, another design by the phenomenal Neil Wade!)

Posted on February 1, 2006 at 6:11 AM | Comments (3)

I'm so excited....

I spoke to Neil last night, really to see how his birthday was (he's 57 now) but then we started talking about the book cover and I was absolutely stoked.

Okay, he's not really 57, LOL.

I am really excited for the new cover and as soon as it's ready, of course we will share it.

I haven't done much updating to the rest of the website yet when it comes to COVENANT. Just been sending out Save-the-Date notices. I guess this weekend I will figure the best way to integrate the new with the old. Or maybe I'll just wait until the cover is ready.

Are you excited too?

I'm doing a lot of travel this year (God willing I can afford it all). I decided last night to visit a good friend of mine in Philly during February and the next weekend I'll be going to Columbua to visit with four other friends. I need these mini-vacations -- life is hard, lol.

But off to the showers for me.... another day of educating the little ankle-biters commences shortly!

Posted on January 24, 2006 at 6:41 AM | Comments (5)

Da*Link*Went

I apologize for my lack of updates....I got sick. AGAIN. I am feeling somewhat better and I hope to be back at work on Monday.

I haven't been able to spread the word about Covenant like I want to, so please help. If you please, just cut and past the following message into an email and send it to everyone you know. :-) Post it in your blogs; put it up in MySpace, Friendster, Facebook, and Tribe; hell, use it as your away message!

*****snip here*****

COVENANT, the follow-up to Rashid Darden's debut novel LAZARUS, will be available for pre-order exclusively at www.oldgoldsoul.com on February 1, 2006.

*****snip here*****

That's it! I will post more later, of course, but right now I just want people to save the date.

Thanks so much!

Posted on January 22, 2006 at 9:06 AM | Comments (1)

COVENANT

Covenant will be available for pre-order on Wednesday, February 1, 2006.

Quantities will be extremely limited, so I am strongly suggesting that you place your order when the sale begins.

I am pleased to announce that Neil Wade, the designer of Lazarus, is designing the cover of Covenant. The brand new design will be unveiled in a few weeks.

Covenant will be shipped in May. Due to the limited quantity, I am also strongly suggesting that you reserve your copy during the pre-order sale, as there is no guarantee that the novel will be available on Amazon.com

Just a heads up....see you February 1!

Posted on January 11, 2006 at 6:35 AM | Comments (7)

Focus and Refocus

Pray for me as I try to reach some goals for COVENANT this week.

Posted on January 10, 2006 at 6:29 AM | Comments (2)

Insult

I probably got the worst insult about LAZARUS today:

"Predictable."

And the thing is, I didn't even ask this person for their opinion.....I don't say that to be mean, it was just sorta random how it came out.

I just said "okay" and left it at that.

UPDATE:

He didn't mean it like that. I told him I felt kind of insulted, and he explained what he really meant. "Predictable" was just a poor word choice -- the actual sentiment was that since the situations were so similar to his own real life experiences, he could predict what might happen next. A better choice of words may have been "I could relate" or "empathize" or something. Change the perspective from the work to the reader.

No harm, no foul.

Posted on at 12:14 AM | Comments (2)

Black Issues Book Review, Beeyatches!

WELL, after TWO emails and some REALLY heavy searching on my own, after having owned the damn thing for weeks, I FINALLY saw with my own two eyes....

I'm in Black Issues Book Review!

On page 20.

At the bottom right.

Near the fold.

It's page 20, "Self-Publishing Reviews."

In a little box called "Other Noteworthy Titles."

Did you see it?

I DIDN'T FOR SEVERAL WEEKS, LOLOLOL.

I want to thank all of you who wrote in to BIBR months and months ago to recommend Lazarus to be reviewed. Though this isn't a full review (barely a capsule) it IS my first appearance in a non-Gay national publication!

For what it's worth, Lazarus was previously featured in Clikque and FlavaLife magazines. :-)

So celebrate!

Posted on November 30, 2005 at 2:59 PM | Comments (3)

Sisters in Reading and The Literary Expo

Saturday night:

Went out to Upper Marlboro, MD, for the Sisters in Reading Book Club meeting. It was great! The ladies were hilarious and very down to earth. There were a lot of diverse opinions about my novel, and I loved the chance to talk about a lot of the different themes.

But damn Upper Marlboro was far, LOL.

Click here for pictures from the event.

***

Then on Sunday, I was on the panel for the Literary Expo that the Deltas from Federal City Alumnae Chapter sponsored. This is the event with none other than Nikki Giovanni. Although there were some bumps at the beginning that threatened to make my inner O-Ren Ishii come out, by the time I spoke, it was all good. :-)

Here are the pictures and here are my remarks:

I am Rashid Darden and my novel is LAZARUS, the story of Adrian Collins, a college sophomore who deals with issues of identity and sexuality while pursuing membership in a college fraternity – all while maintaining his first serious same-gender relationship.

Before I go further, I would like to thank the Federal City Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc., for sponsoring the 2005 Literary Expo. Both independent and traditional authors rely on such events to promote literature to our communities, so thank you for creating a forum that showcases our talents.

I would also like to thank all of the other authors here today for being not only my inspiration, but the inspiration of their colleagues and countless aspiring authors out there.

I wrote LAZARUS because I wanted to create art that serves as a vehicle for discussion as well as social change. I follow in the footsteps of other pioneering gay black authors such as James Baldwin, Bruce Nugent, Samuel Delaney, E. Lynn Harris, and James Earl Hardy. You will find my writing to be the next logical step in the evolution of gay black writers. Like my predecessors, I am unafraid to force the issues. Same gender loving black men and women are here, have always been here, and will always be here. We have stories to be told and taboos to continue to break. The first taboo on my checklist was the notion of gay men in college fraternities.

LAZARUS starts at the beginning of Adrian’s Sophomore year. He is emotionally distant from his mother and has an absentee father. His only family is his best friend Nina. Though he is quite active on campus, he still feels alone until he meets the man who becomes his first serious boyfriend. Savion is two years older, a senior, and a poet – everything that Adrian could ask for.

Life becomes complicated when Adrian pledges a fraternity. He inevitably gets pulled in two different directions: keeping his boyfriend happy while following the orders of his big brothers. If Adrian is outed during the process, he will have to choose between the great loves of his life: his man or his brothers.

LAZARUS is a novel that has resonated with those who are members of black fraternities and sororities as well as those who aspire to be. It has touched gay men and woman who are members of our organizations as well as those who are heterosexual but just had no idea.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share this story with you. Please come talk to me after the expo to discuss independent publishing or any of the issues I raise through LAZARUS.

Thank you!

Special thanks to my mom, stepfather, grandma, Cylia, Storme, Michael-Christopher, and Nikki for showing up and supporting!

Posted on November 21, 2005 at 4:56 PM | Comments (6)

The Blog and the Book

I get a lot of hits to my diary. Not as much as Keith Boykin or Rod 2.0, but enough for me. My main "career" is that of a novelist, and not necessarily a web content provider. That's why when I write in my diary, I mainly write for me. Which is probably why people find it appealing.

One of the reasons I started this diary was to keep aspiring writers and helpful readers aware of my journey as a writer. So far, so good!

But from time to time, people ask me what they can do to help. GLAD YOU ASKED!!!!

Did you purchase LAZARUS yet? I know how it is to not have that $14.95 right now, or have space on your credit card to make an online purchase. PLEASE BELIEVE IT! :-D But if you haven't gotten the book yet, now is the time to do so. They are (figuratively) flying off the shelves from Amazon.com, and I will be sold out by the end of the year if things keep going at this rate.

Are you in a sorority? Grad chapters or undergrad chapters, I am available to speak to your organization, whether it's a book signing, or about various topics like "Black, Gay, and Greek" or a self-publishing workshop. Here are some pictures from when the AKAs in Delaware had me down for an event. I love events like this.

Are you in college? If so, email your multicultural center or LGBT center (or both) and tell them you want me to come in as a guest speaker. Give them my website and keep harrassing them until they say "Alright, we'll contact him dammit!" Alumni, you can do the same! Fratman1906 is a Duke alum -- how do you think I got that hookup? ;-)

Finally -- and I can't stress this enough -- pre-orders, pre-orders, pre-orders. For self-published authors, pre-orders are extrememly important. I am so grateful for everyone who ordered Lazarus early and patiently waiting for it to be released. Convenant will be very similar.

*Can I just interject and say that I love Covenant and I can't wait to get it to you?*

So anyway, those are just some of the ways that you can help out, in addition to the general word of mouth (including posting a review on Amazon.com).

I really appreciate all of you and everything that you do to support me. Hundreds of you read my blog every day, and though I don't see hundreds of comments, I know that you visit because you care. I feel that positive energy and it keeps me going! Thank you so much....

YOU GONE LOVE COVENANT! (Just had to say that one more time.)

Posted on November 8, 2005 at 6:37 AM | Comments (4)

Nikki Giovanni....and me!

This is the day I have worked so hard to see.

On Sunday, November 20, 2005, from 3pm to 5pm, I will be participating in the 2005 Literary Expo, sponsored by the Federal City Alumnae Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. The event will be held at American University in the Kay Spiritual Life Center. You can visit http://www.thefcacdst.org for details.

The headlining author will be Nikki Giovanni. I am honored and humbled by the chance to participate in this event with her. She has been my inspiration and role model – her poetry inspires me to constantly do better. It is beautiful, yet plainspoken. I love her!

If you have that Sunday free, please consider joining me at this event. It will be the most special day of my year so far. To be invited to this event in the first place was honor enough, but to learn that Nikki Giovanni would be there is overwhelming.

Thank you all for supporting me so far – without you, I wouldn’t even be here!

Posted on November 7, 2005 at 7:57 AM | Comments (0)

DC Area Mens

I am looking for men.

But I can't tell you why just yet.

I KNOW! I suck. :-/

These men should be from 18-28, photogenic, handsome in an everyday sort of way, and comfortable being featured as a model on my website. Fully clothed, of course, what do you think this is, some kind of porn endeavor?

Email me with a head shot for details. rashid@oldgoldsoul.com

Contact me regardless how you look....overweight, slim, buff, dreadlocks, cornrows, bald, short hair, black, latino... I'll tell you more when you email me.

Posted on October 31, 2005 at 6:28 AM | Comments (2)

The Man Behind the Cover

This is me and Neil Wade:

Neil Wade designed the cover of Lazarus and will be designing the cover for Covenant. We hadn't seen each other for over two years until yesterday. He's currently visiting the DC area. We tried to get a signing set up for while he was here, but that didn't work out.

Anyway, he's a great guy and it was good to see him again.

If you liked the cover for Lazarus or want to post messages for Neil, feel free to leave your comments here!

Posted on October 25, 2005 at 7:51 AM | Comments (11)

I am a Gay Author of Note!

Check me out at PrideIndex!

Posted on October 22, 2005 at 8:23 AM | Comments (3)

Lambda Rising Update

Recently, someone told me that Lambda Rising Books in DC had sold out of its stock of LAZARUS. I can’t remember who that person was, but I wanted to let you all know that the book IS selling well and probably is sold out. HOWEVER, if Lambda Rising is your store of choice, please have them special order the book for you. It is not a problem for me or them. The quickest way for a store to stock a book is through customer requests.

Lambda Rising is located in the heart of Dupont Circle at 1625 Connecticut Avenue in Northwest Washington, DC, across the street from the Dupont Circle Metro subway stop (Q St. exit)
(202) 462-6969
Hours:
10 am - 10 pm every day, 'til midnight Fridays & Saturdays

Posted on October 6, 2005 at 9:47 AM | Comments (0)

MFA or Not?

Short Answer: NOT!

From Frederick Smith's Blog:

Saturday, October 01, 2005 M.F.A. or Not? Everyday I get one or two brochures or packages in the mail, encouraging me to think about considering applying to Master of Fine Arts (M.F.A) programs in Creative Writing or English. There are all sorts of programs. Full time. Part time. Low residency. Oh my.

Having interacted with authors and writers of all levels of education and experience, I have heard about the benefits and challenges that are associated with pursuing a higher degree and level of study in writing. What I hear is compelling. Very briefly (there's more):

Benefits -- craft develops more than you ever imagined; professional/personal connections; leaving with a completed piece that is considered high quality
Challenges -- uniformity (style and people); cliques; can something creative be taught?

Back when I thought I wanted to pursue education (after the journalism thing), I went to graduate school for it and finished. Now that writing is what I see on the horizon as a long-term career, I'm wondering.

What are your thoughts on M.F.A. or not?

I have seen both sides of the fence, I'd like to think, having been enrolled in an MFA program myself.

As most of you know, I am proud to call myself a grad school dropout, along the same lines as Kanye West is a "College Dropout."

I enrolled in the graduate program in Creative Writing at [Like y'all don't really know where] University at the right time and the right place. It was just the wroooooongest school I could have ever chosen. The creative writing faculty was lily-white, as was the Literature faculty on the whole, except for one guy who was actually a great teacher, but as all young PhDs seem to be, he taught like he had something to prove. Hey, love the guy, but I just thought he was unnecessarily...ah, what's the word? The opposite of plainspoken.

So reason #1 (in no order) for dropping out: I couldn't see myself taking literature courses from this man (the only one teaching black literature) the WHOLE time I would be enrolled there.

Reason #2: Because of a relatively low undergrad GPA and a lack of funds at the school (probably because the president was spending it all) there was absolutely NO scholarship money available to me. That, alone, was not the biggest problem...but...

Reason #3: I believe that the program was dishonest about my ability to "earn" merit-based aid after a year there. I was under the impression that if I could earn a certain GPA and maintain it, then I could reapply for aid. NO SUCH LUCK.

Reason #4: Administrative incompetence.... from the Dean's Office to the Creative Writing Program itself....nobody knew what the FUCK was going on!

Reason #5: My Advisor retired. :-( He was cool as hell! Had a Pulitzer and everything. My interim advisor was wiggedy wack. My "new" advisor's mom died in the first month of school of my second year, and I refused to burden him with my problems. So basically I had no one REALLY advocating for me.

Reason #6: Maya died the summer after my first year -- that REALLY put everything in perspective. I was depressed and literally fearful of leaving the house sometimes. Damn anxiety.

Reason #7: The school was SERIOUSLY interfering with my ability to query agents.

Reason #8: I never trusted the faculty and my peers enough with my fiction, instead focusing on poetry -- even further taking me away from LAZARUS.

Reason #9: Okay, this is not actually a reason why I left, but I just wanted to put it out there....there was a REALLY meddlesome black lesbian in the program who was FOREVER in my business and ALWAYS trying to "hook me up" with people, including an obviously straight classmate of mine. Ugh.

Reason #10: I felt that the requirements were STUPID and weren't really helpful to my craft.

Reason #11: This particular program took longer than two years to complete, which I felt was ridiculous.

So, you might ask why I chose this program in the first place.

1. Not extraordinarily competitive.

2. Not difficult to commute to.

3. Small campus -- didn't want to go to a huge state school.

4. Wasn't ready to move to a new city and strike out on my own and be DIRT POOR.

5. It felt right.

But clearly, after a year and a summer, it not only stopped feeling right, it was actually taking away from my writing and me doing what i needed to do when it came to LAZARUS. And DAMN this was back in 02-03. Sometimes I feel like LAZARUS could have come out in 04 and we'd be on COVENANT by now, if not for that school.

But you know what? If not for that school, I wouldn't have had contacts with some really great people, who, were all undergrads when I met them, LOL. Don't get me wrong, my classmates were okay people, but I sorta knew where their heads were at when I "disappeared" and NOT A ONE of them tried to contact me to see if I was dead or alive.

LOL...fuckers.

So anyway....my actual advice, and I do have some.

Realize that many, if not most people in MFA programs already have some sort of career. Seeking an MFA is what they are doing to force themselves to have time to write. YOU CAN DO THIS ON YOUR OWN. Don't pay a school MONEY to do this.

Now, if you get a scholarship, GO! But if you already have written a book, DON'T GO! The bamas in these programs want to be where YOU are! That's like going back to high school to take electives -- read a book instead.

I think I was too young for an MFA program. I liked the undergrads a lot better than my grad classmates. I liked the work, even though it was hard, but my mind was often focused on other things, whether it was my own writing, pursuing Alpha, BEING an Alpha, or Maya's death and planning her Homecoming memorial.

I thought about what Maya would have done...or what she might have said about what I was doing. And while Maya doesn't strike me as a quitter, I knew she'd not want me to be miserable. And miserable the hell I was.

MFA's are cool degrees. You will basically graduate with a book length manuscript that has been workshopped a lot. That's what many folks out here NEED. But there are ways to do that without the degree.

Oh yeah...one last thing...the MFA in 2005 (in my opinion) doesn't adequately or competitively credential you to do anything professionally. It is a terminal degree that you can't generally use as a prerequisite to a PhD program, unless that program has an extensive writing component (and some do).

None of this is meant to shit on MFA recipients (hi Karamale!) because they chose their way and I chose mine after having tasted their way. It wasn't for me...and hey, I have a book. *shrug*

So, whatever.....a little education isn't a bad thing, but do it for the right reasons and do it on THEIR dime, not yours.

Posted on October 1, 2005 at 8:03 PM | Comments (0)

Wo' out

Thought of the Day:

You can't be my colleague if you're not in my league.
--Anon.

*****

I am wo' out. (Wore out, worn out, VERY tired.)

I was up at 6am working on stuff for the mailing. I printed out labels and sent off some documents to be photocopied someplace. Yes, Old Gold Soul is all about "the hook ups." One day, far far in the future, when the statutes of limitations all run out, I will blog about some for REAL guerilla publishing.

My envelopes arrived via UPS today (ten dollar off coupon!). So I am ready to start labeling envelopes. Heck, I might just employ some slave labor at school on Friday and have the lil rapscallions stuffing em for me. ;-)

I have a couple more appearances I really need to schedule before they sneak by me.

More later.

Posted on September 13, 2005 at 5:04 PM | Comments (0)

Mailing

People close to me know that my Fall Mailing has been the bane of my existence. Okay, so "bane" is a strong word, but it's been really annoying.

I have a total of 3,800 Lazarus packets to be sent out. Each packet will have a letter from me, a synopsis of Lazarus and a bio sheet (same page), reviews of Lazarus, availability, programming suggestions, and an order form (for single and group orders). The purpose of this mailing is to reach out to the communities that I feel will enjoy Lazarus or will benefit by bringing me in for events or programs. Those could be book signings or lectures, depending on the organization's needs.

After some research and talking to friends, I have identified about seven or eight topics that I am an "expert" at. At least enough of an expert where I feel comfortable speaking on the topic to a room full of strangers.

Other authors know this already and I am just following their lead, but in case you are an aspiring writer and you didn't know, here's a secret....you can't just sell books. You've got to enjoy public speaking to a certain degree so that people will try to seek you out as an expert. This works better for non-fiction authors, though. So all you aspriring non-fiction writers out there, get up off your duffs, write those books, and then groom yourself to be a speaker. If you are a knitter, and wrote a book about knitting, don't you think you should be speaking to knitting circles and knitting conventions?

For novelists, it's a little different and more challenging. Me, I'm a nobody so far, so I've got to do a lot of hard work to market myself as an "expert." Luckily, I have several niche markets that might be interested in what I have to say. I may never be invited to be a keynote speaker at a National Urban League conference, but seems to me that I could be a workshop facilitator at a fraternity or sorority conference. Ya know?

So that's the point of my mailing...to raise awareness of Lazarus, tell people where they can buy it, offer myself as an event or program, and let people know about group discounts.

Now, there's no way that I can afford to have them ALL sent out at the same time, but I have grouped and prioritized them based on what type of organization I'm sending them to. My first round will be sent to what I consider "semesterly" organizations -- offices and organizations that are based on college and university campuses. Technically, I am "late" on that because the semester has already started and many organizations have already planned their events for the year. But, ya never know which organization has a specific need for a certain type of program.

At any rate, I hope this info was helpful to other aspiring writers out there. I am really excited that the first round of my mailing will be going out this weekend and I look forward to seeing if there are any "bites" -- interest in what I have to say.

Posted on at 7:27 AM | Comments (2)

ATL Pride Part IV: Erotic Poetry and the Literary Cafe

Damn it feels like I'm NEVER going to finish talking about ATL Pride!

Short versions:

One night while I was in Atlanta, I participated in the erotic poetry slam. Imani Evans and Duncan Teague from Adodi Muse were the MCs. I wasn't going to go -- I think I was tired or something -- but then this light skinneded dude named Malachi told me and Callis that we should go. And I was like but I don't have anything to read...then I remembered YES THE HELL I DO!!!!

You see, Lazarus has some poems in it -- certainly, I had better poems at home, but the ones in Lazarus are pretty good.

Malachi was one of the first readers -- he was good! But tell me why he left when he was finished? I was like hell to the naw. (Maybe he snuck into the back, but I didn't see him.)

This one girl was really good -- actually, everyone there was really good, but one of my favorites was this girl/woman Ayanna (sp). I think her stage name was red summer or something. I know, I am just BAD with names. But she was good.

For those of you who read Lazarus, I read two of Savion's poems: "Recognize" from the first few pages of the novel and then the untitled one he reads to Adrian at the end of the first section.

They went over pretty well, but as usual with my poetry, nobody really claps, shouts, ays UMMPH! real loud or anything like that. I don't think my poetry is "deep" but maybe it is more thought provoking than it is theatrical.

The good thing about participating in the reading is that it was an extra, free venue in which to showcase my writing. It was also good practive for the Literary Cafe.

Ahhh...the Literary Cafe. Fred Smith has already blogged about it, but I will reiterate a message to our fellow writers: You MUST be respectful of time limits. It was completely unfair that some writers took twenty minutes or more when we were alotted 5-7 minutes. Tell me why I only sold two books at the event? I was LIVID after it was over.

My friend Dwayne (the Sigma) told me how proud of me he was, that I made excellent choices in excerpts and my presentation was great. But I can't help to wonder how many connections I might have made if there was more time at the end to mix and mingle with the attendees. Because it was soooooo long, many people got up and left before the final author.

But at least I got to meet Jojapeach from GreekChat. She is cool as hell!

And it's not like the event was a failure -- I actually thought it was really successful, artistically. I am glad I finally got to meet Dayne Avery. It was good seeing Laurinda Brown again. And meeting Eric Ware and Toy Styles was cool. Oh yeah, and James Earl Hardy! He was very very nice -- not at all how I thought he MIGHT be. I hope I get to see him whenever he does a DC leg of his tour.

After it was over, me, Eric, Fred, and Justin (a vendor and friend of Eric) went to this trendy place called Shout for dinner. I had sushi and hated it....ugh....but it was no one's fault, I just really didn't care for sushi as I thought I would. And hell, I'm not gonna sit there and let the raw fish slide down my throat. Ick.

And so ends my next-to-last essay about ATL Pride. Some time this week I will write about why NON-PROFIT Prides are important. Have a great week in the meantime.

Posted on September 12, 2005 at 6:44 AM | Comments (5)

Two Alpha Authors at AKA Step Show

On Saturday, September 24, 2005, at 6:00pm, please join Dr. Gregory Parks, co-editor of African American Fraternities and Sororities: The Legacy and the Vision and Rashid Darden, author of the novel Lazarus for a book signing at the Old Gold Soul Table in the marketplace of the Greek Step Challenge! Both men are members of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc.

The 2005 Greek Step Challenge, sponsored by the Xi Omega Educational Foundation, in association with the Xi Omega Chapter of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc., will be held at the University of the District of Columbia, in the auditorium at Building 46. UDC is located at 4200 Connecticut Avenue in Washington, DC. It is accessible via the Van Ness/UDC Red Line metro station and there is also plenty of parking available. The Vendor's Marketplace will be held in the foyer of the auditorium. You do NOT have to have tickets to the step show in order to attend the book signing or visit the vendor's marketplace.

But, we really wish you would support the show anyway! Tickets are $15 in advance and $20 at the door. Showtime is 7pm sharp. If you will be in town for CBC Weekend, this would be a great way to start your Saturday night.

So come on out, support two Alpha Authors, and enjoy yourself at a great step show.

About the books:
www.legacyandvision.com
www.oldgoldsoul.com

The Step Show: http://www.akaxo.org/2005StepShow.pdf

Posted on September 9, 2005 at 7:05 AM | Comments (1)

ATL Pride Extra: The Photos

Click here for photos from ATL Pride. Enjoy!

Posted on September 8, 2005 at 3:35 AM | Comments (0)

ATL Pride Part III: The Lobby

I may not be able to give this entry justice, but I will try.

The Lobby is the funnest place to hang out at Pride. Personally, I make it a destination for two reasons:

1) I need to be in a place where I can see folks, see what's going on, post a few books on a table, and in general, promote the novel while relaxing somewhat.

2) I be tired.

Atlanta had a nice lobby, but it wasn't as on and poppin' as the lobby in DC was. Although the ATL lobby had drinks.

Highlights from The Lobby:

Larry. Well, that's not his real name, but he was this really entertaining and cool dude who lived in the Dominican Republic. He was working every last hat he had on. He reminded me of other sassy dudes I knew, but he was still very unique and fun to be around.

Pineapple Cake Martinis. Oh. My. God. Fred treated me and Callis to martinis one night. We were gonna have apple martinis, then the bartender convinced us to try his Pineapple Cake martinis. They tasted JUST LIKE PINEAPPLE UNSIDE DOWN CAKE!!!! (Did I blog about this already?) They were so good -- and I finished the whole thing! I so rarely finish an entire drink. I was proud.

The Que Who Read Me. So I see this Que (member of Omega Psi Phi) in the lobby on the first day, and being all Pan-Hellenic and shit, I say "Nice shirt." He says "Thanks!" then he walks a little bit, stops, turns and says "Whatchu know about this shirt?"

And I say "Nothing really; I've got a different one at home."

And this man says "Oh...sounds like YOU MADE A MISTAKE! HAHAHAHA!"

My face was cracked and on the ground. LOL. He was cool as fuck though. I like Ques.

Ass. So apparently, the thing to do is to have your pants slung so low that your entire ass is out. And boxer briefs are in. So all weekend, all I see is bubble butts covered by cotton. No mind you, this was hella nice to look at, because black ass is a beautiful thing. But it didn't make any sense to me. Why wear pants at all if they're going to be so low that your entire ass is out? And....how in the hell did these guys keep their pants up? I mean they PERFECTLY rode just below the apple bottom.

I don't get it. I enjoyed looking, but please believe that if I had a man, I for damn sure wouldn't let him out the house like that.

Youngins. Although it was hella scary to know that so many of the folks there were 18-19 (and some were undoubtedly younger) it was good to see that they, too, were reveling in their Pride. You know, thank God for Ellen. Thank God for Michael K. Williams on The Wire. God bless Karamo. I'm just so thankful that the youth can be confident in who they are in safe environments.

Speaking of which, Callis and I met a young man who was all of 19. He had gold fronts and Callis asked him about them. From there, somehow he got to talking about what he was doing with his life, his achievements in high school, how he planned to go to school for nursing -- he was really fucking inspiring. I am like dude, I wouldn't have gone to a Pride at 19. Just wasn't ready. Had no gay friends. But here lil youngin is -- doing the damn thing. I was so moved by his story and his courage that I went ahead and gave him a book. I mean hell, they mine to give, lol. I needed to reach a younger audience anyway, but more than promotion or possible positive opinions sent my way, I just really wanted to show this dude that hey, you can be like Adrian. Or Savion. Or better than them. He was really appreciative of the gesture and said he'd start reading it that night. I may never see dude again, but I'm so proud of him.

Shenanigans. So me, Callis, and Fred are hanging out in the lobby. (What else is new?) Issam (at that point) had gone to hang out with some doctor he knew from Ohio. (That guy was mad cool, too. It's really amazing how diverse the gay black community really is. But I digress.)

So we are joined by this dude....I shouldn't say who he is. I really shouldn't be telling this story, but it's too funny not to.

So dude is talking to Fred...exclusively. Like, he BARELY acknowledges us. It's painfully obvious that he is really only talking to Fred, even though Fred is trying to include us in the conversation. So Callis and I are like whatever, fuck that.

So Callis writes me a note on a flyer after "dude" says something....Callis writes "Excuses" (something that is relevant to Greeks) and I smile. Then, a few minutes later, Callis writes on the flyer something like "You like how your boy (and he drew an arrow) is totally ignoring us." And I was like yeah, that's messed up, but whatever.

Our dumb asses didn't tear up the flyer.

So like TEN MINUTES go by, and finally dude is like "What's this?" and picks up the flyer. So I am like SHIT! We done wrote about that man on the flyer! So Callis sorta snatches the flyer and puts it down on the table, then puts his index finger on it and says "Yeah, so um, THIS is a flyer for Omicron Epsilon Pi Sorority...." and tries to slide the flier back toward us with his finger.

I was laughing at this point, but not obviously.

So Callis is trying to downplay the flier, and dude is like "Well is there a website?" and me and Callis are like "Naw, no website." LOL

Then dude TAKES the flyer and looks at the back, and Callis SNATCHES it back and is like yeah, nothing to see here. LOLOL.....he tries to crumple up the flier. At this point I think Fred says something like "I think he just wants to see the phone number on the flyer." And I can tell Fred is somewhat annoyed because I am clearly laughing and Callis is acting crazy, though I am trying to hide my face in my palms.

So Callis pretends to hear somebody calling him from across the lobby and runs off with the flyer.

Dude was annoyed. Fred was confused. I was convulsing with stifled laughter. Then the good doctor returns and is all smiling and doesn't understand why everybody has these different looks on their faces.

I hope I have conveyed how utterly hilarious the whole scene was. Callis ended up coming back with a little teeny tiny piece of paper from the flyer that had a phone number on it in case Dude wanted it, LOLOL.

I still laugh out loud every time I think about that.

Mens. Keeping it real here -- the men were hot. And mostly respectable. And many were from DC. So now I have a reason to start going back to the clubs -- I was impressed.

That's all I can think of. The Lobby was the hot spot...always was, always will be.

Posted on September 7, 2005 at 8:15 PM | Comments (3)

ATL Pride Part II - The Vendors

The previous entry about Pride was written while I was still in Atlanta. The rest of the entries are being written here in DC, with some time passed.

As I wrote my journal entry, ate my muffin, and drank my juice in the lobby of the Sheraton Colony Square, I was joined by the very talented Michael-Cristopher, author of the Living the Life graphic novels. I met him for the first time at Pride in DC this past Memorial Day weekend. A nice guy. Very handsome. Knows a lot of people, it seems. Been in the game for a while. He had a vendor table toward the back of the marketplace. Not the ideal location, but inches away from an adult film star, which ain't too shabby.

We were pretty much just sitting around and chit-chatting. He then introduced me to Michael Slaughter, who was one of the co-chairs of In The Life Atlanta. He's a nice guy, too, it seems.

I kinda don't remember what I did for most of that day other than hang out in the lobby, eat lunch, and get my area set up for the vendor area, which was set to open at 4pm.

I should use this opportunity to thank EVERYONE who helped me out! Callis, Issam, Dwayne, and Fred -- you guys are the greatest!!!! I love you.

Luckily, I have no bad stories about vending. All the buyers were very positive. Nobody tried to clown or throw my book around. (It's happened.)

In the marketplace, I met Ty Lattimore. We had corresponded earlier this year and he is just as nice in person as he is on email. And *ahem* yes, I did support his adult DVD endeavors. ;-)

I got a shirt from bsixtee6. They were directly across from the Old Gold Soul table. Briian Dargon and his brother....so nice....and nice to look at, lol.

Cheril N. Clarke had a table. She is the author of Intimate Chaos, a novel. I wish I had had more time to chit chat with her, but she was so far away from us. I got her book though! She seems really cool.

Brent Dorian Carpenter was also among us, promoting his four books. Bald Ambition, his latest, is finally available. If you pre-ordered it, bear with him. He's on the road a lot and hasn't gotten back home long enough to ship out the pre-orders.

Warm Spirit, a self-care and wellness company was there. They were basically straight chicks selling candles and body oils or something. I know, it's sad, I really didn't know what they were selling until the last day, when I bought a candle. The vendor (on that day) was a Soror and we really hit it off.

BARC was in full effect. They are a skin care system for men of color. I didn't buy anything from them, but they hooked me up with a free sample. I'm really particular about anything I put on my face. But I will try it soon.

The half nekkid men from Flava Men Magazine were there. I can honestly say that although they were very nice men, I really wasn't as impressed with them as other folks were. Part of the reason is because as a vendor of books, it was sad to see more people ogling the bare chests of models than pawing Brent Dorian Carpenter's books. The other reason why I wasn't that impressed was because they were pretty small....kinda on the short side, kinda on the slim side. Three of them walked by and I was like what is this, B2K?

But as I said, they were very nice guys. And yes, I *ahem* got a related DVD that was on sale at their table.

OH YEAH....I forgot that my novel was reviewed in one of the Flava Men related magazines. Not the strictly dickly one, but the lifestyles one.

Yvette Michelle Hall was there! LOVE HER! She was my "back" when I was a vendor at DC Pride. She is so nice. (I've been saying "nice" an awful lot, but really, all these people were SO NICE!) She was selling her book Unconventional Love.

Although he wasn't a vendor, I did get to meet Waddie G. in the vendor area, too! That was great -- I'd been emailing with him back and forth for like months and months. He's a really cool dude.

Now for the patrons....as I said before, most everyone was really really cool. I sold quite a few books, and for that I am grateful. Issam, Fred, Dwayne, and Callis really did a lot to keep me sane while I was "on."

And Frat....I met so many Frat. Tall Frat. Short Frat. Skinny Frat. Fat Frat. (Actually, no Fat Frat, believe it or not.) Most importantly, hot frat. We're a pretty good looking lot. I was like YEAH, go us!

All in all, I am glad I signed up to be a vendor for all three days. You get to meet other vendors and see damn near everyone who decided to come to Pride.

Stay tuned for more installments about The Lobby and the special events.

Posted on September 6, 2005 at 5:46 PM | Comments (4)

ATL Pride: Part I

September 1, 2005

I am at the airport and so far I haven't freaked out. Anxiety attacks are real and I wish people wouldn't make light of them.

Anyway, I see black men here and there. One guy was in front of me at the check-in line. He was cute in an "average" sort of way. I like average boys. Handsome but not really model-worthy. (Cuz hell, I'm not, either.)

As I got to my terminal, I saw other black guys. It's fun to guess which ones are going to Pride. Part of me wants to to scream if you're going to ATL Pride make some noise! Yeah, if I did that, I would be quietly escorted to the bathroom and beat up.

There's this one guy: red sleeveless shirt, nice arms -- very nice arms -- shorts, black socks, and Timbs. Typical DC boy. He also has on a bag like mine. Yeah, like a laptop bag. He's with a chubby dude who is also wearing DC drag: white tee shirt and gray sweatpants. Both have big old badunkadunks, so they must be DC boys.

Anyway, I just KNOW they're gay and I haven't even heard them talk. There's something about the overtly masculine ways they are dressed.

Or, I could just be horny and red shirt looks really fucking hot to me.

I'm at a Sam Adams Brewery sipping on orange juice. This is the only place with seating where I can be away from the windows. Don't like the high windows. Makes me anxious.

Two other dudes -- GOTS to be gay -- are sitting at the bar. They at first were sitting near me, so I whipped out a copy of LAZARUS and laid it on the table. They moved, though.

Callis [not his real name] is my traveling buddy. He'll be here shortly.

I'll be meeting a lot of authors for the first time in ATL. Excited about that.

My handwriting is really fucking sloppy. It didn't used to be this way. I frequently end up misspelling or shortening words or contracting words. Cursive, that is. I wonder why they call it cursive. Is it cursed? lol

I will be so glad to take out these itchy fucking cornrows. Ugh! I left them in so I could take them out in Atlanta and have nice wavy locks going on. Although this would be tacky, I might do this on the plane to occupy my time. If I can find the strength to move, lol.

[Yes, I took the cornlocks out on the plane and yes, it helped me feel occupied and less panicky. In fact, I was a soldier on the plane, lol.]

September 2, 2005

Well, clearly I mafe it to Atlanta safely. The flight wasn't bad at all. No panic attacks or anything.

We arrived at the airport (which is really fucking huge!) and waited about 20-25 minutes just for our luggage. THEN the shoulder strap had the nerve to be missing on my Pepsi bag!

Side story -- this "Pepsi Bag" is a really nice duffel bag that I use when I travel. When I was in junior high (I think) Pepsi had this promotion where you could collect Pepsi Points and redeem them for cool stuff. Well, me and my mom were buying and drinking Pepsis like crazy until we had enough for the Pepsi bag. It was great! It has a detachable part that you can use as a little bag if you want. Very durable. Good shit.

So you can imagine I was like "Oh hayle no!" when I saw that the shoulder strap was missing. Well, the sassy luggage area attendant told me to look inside the bag, because they take it off so it won't get hung up on the equipment. And there it was. She was a nice, sassy lady, lol. Why black women always gotta be sassy! tee hee....but on the real, it was a great welcome to Atlanta because it was all in love.

The cab ride. I asked the cab driver to turn on the radio SO I COULD HEAR ATLANTA MUSIC. I stress that because I specifically wanted to hear how different urban radio might be in the south.

Why this nigga turn on the talk radio station? LOL

So Callis was like "Yeah....I wonder what the black radio stations are like....."

Cab driver does nothing. So we laugh it off and get psyced when we see the So So Def billboard by the highway.

Midtown Atlanta reminds me of DuPont Circle on steroids. In fact, all of Atlanta is on seroids. Why is this shit so fucking big???? DAMN! Okay, granted DC is not a big city -- no more than ten miles to get from one point to another. But I guess I'm just not used to highways in the middle of a city. I need streets.

We are staying at the host hotel for Atlanta Pride, which is the Sheraton Midtown at Colony Square. Or the Sheraton Colony Square Hotel at Midtown. Or some shit. It's decent. Not as elegant as I expected it to be. But still very very nice. The hotel is attached to some shops. Not a real mall, but one of those office building malls with a bunch of eateries and a convenience store or two. Me and Callis had Chic-Fil-A (sp?) for lunch. Yum! I had a fruit salad and chicken strips that were piping hot.

The PLAN was to take a nap, right? Well, I laid down for fifteen minutes and then No4Real called. He said he wanted to see me and I said I would come down to the lobby. Long story short, THIS nigga was at the Sheraton BUCKHEAD thinking it was the host hotel, looking for me by some fountain that didn't exist at the hotel where I was staying. Womp womp WOMP. So my naptime was shot to hell.

It took a lot longer than I expected to get ready for the Meet & Greet, mostly because I had to iron and I HATE ironing. In the meantime, Fred joined me and Callis as we got ready. Fred is so handsome...he looks exactly like his pictures.

We caught a cab to the Red Chair Restaurant and Video Lounge -- it was fairly close, maybe two miles? It was a very nice ride through a very nice neighborhood.

When we arrived, my old friend from college was there -- Tricia! That was hot, as I hadn't seen her in four years! I will most likely see her again for reunion in 2006. And she's had a boyfriend for the past three years. I was like....excuse you? LOL. But yeah, Tricia looks good. Glad she's not stressed out by life, and if she is, she's not showing it.

Red Chair is nive. If I were to open up my own venue, there's not too much I would change about Red Chair. See, this is where I suck at description, so just check out their website.

We were joined by a few folks throughout the evening, but I just want to shour out the faithful few that were there on time and stayed the whole time: Callis, Fred, and Tricia. It was an intimate gathering and I was quite prepared if nobody else showed up.

But then No4Real, Derrick Briggs, Maurice Jamal, and Alphonso Morgan showed up, along with four undergrads from Morehouse. That was cool. The Morehouse dudes were really nice and down to earth. I, of course, appreciated the appearance by No4Real, DB, MJ, and AM.

Two of my other friends also showed up, Cerrice (who is my APO brother) and Eugene (not his real name) my Alpha brother. I wasn't expecting Cerrice to make it since she was having a bad day, but she made it! I love that girl -- she's always so fun. And Eugene really surprised me! I hadn't gotten any return emails from him, so I didn't think he would make it, but he did!

And last, but not least, in a cameo appearance, was malik williams! AND HE CUT HIS LOCKS!!!!!! I was like "Hmmm, wonder who this is?" But it was malik! DUDE....he is so fucking hot! I was like melting and shit, lol. His hair looks so soft...I didn't get to touch it, though. It's very curly, too.

Eugene gave Cerrice, Fred, Callis and I rides back to the hotel and the Marta (for Cerrice). I didn't see him for the rest of the weekend, but I am so glad I got to see him at all.

Back at the hotel, we had pineapple cake martinis that were SO GOOD! I had never had a martini before. They were fun.

In the lobby, why did I see a Lesbian who looked JUST like him? I was like what the feezie??? But it wasn't him, it was a her, and she was a touch lighter than he.

***

And that was just Thursday....stay tuned for Part II.

Posted on September 5, 2005 at 9:05 PM | Comments (1)

Atlanta, here I come!

Well, today's the day! Going to Atlanta shortly. I'm not nervous about the trip at all. I've done a Pride before, so I am confident about being able to move some books.

I'm excited for the Meet & Greet tonight....

Excited for the LGBT Greek Symposium I was very recently invited to speak at....

Excited for the Literary Cafe....

Excited about three solid days of vending....

But nervous as hell about the flight! LOL Gosh flying makes me nervous. I just hve to get used to it again. It's been quite a while since I've flown.

SO....

Ladies and gentlemen, keep me in your prayers: for my safe journey to and from Atlanta, for a great time while I'm there, to make many new friends, to solidify existing friendships, to sell many books, and to basically do everything in the Old Gold Soul way. ;-)

To those of you I'll be meeting for the first time while I'm there, I want you to know that I'm really 4'11" tall and 375 pounds, so don't be too shocked, okay? lol jk

To everyone else travelling to ATL, I hope you have safe journeys as well.

I will be taking plenty of pictures while I'm there. I'll do my best to blog a little bit, but I have no idea what the internet situation will be like, and I don't have a lap top.

Last minute packing time now....take care all!

Posted on September 1, 2005 at 5:09 AM | Comments (3)

Save the Date: Tuesday, October 18

LGBTQ Issues at Georgetown: A Community Conversation
Tuesday October 18th at 7 pm
Location TBA

Moderator: Bonnie Morris, Women’s Studies

Discussants:
Rashid Darden ’01, Georgetown GLBT Alumni
Mónica Escobar ‘07, co-president, GU Pride
Jennifer Natalya Fink, assistant professor of English
Linda Ichiyama ‘07, co-coordinator, OUTspoken
Bill McCoy, LGBT community coordinator
Ricardo Ortíz, associate professor of English and American Studies
Jill Robinson, director, GU Women’s Center
Anne Sullivan, assistant dean of the College

Sponsored by the Women's and Gender Studies Program

For more information contact
Dana Luciano, English Department (dl234@georgetown.edu)

Posted on August 29, 2005 at 7:11 AM

First Day of School!

I was so tempted to walk up and down my street last night with a bell, ringing it and shouting "FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL TOMORROW, YA LITTLE BASTARDS!!!!"

hee hee hee

I got up at 6am as I wanted to so I would have enough time to do everything I needed to do before school. I am lovin' the Russ Parr Morning Show. That's one of my favorite parts of the school year.

Anyway, here are some announcements:

Did you know I have a yahoo group? It's located here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/RashidDarden/. Just click on it and follow the directions if you want to join. It will give you the latest info about Lazarus, Covenant, and my appearances.

The Rawsistaz gave me a 3.5 out of 5 stars. Not too bad.

But I got a great review at HitDatSPOT! I am so happy.

One of these days we're going to talk about "audience" at length. I know two gay black authors who got negative reviews from a straight black reviewer -- this same reviewer also told me that she doesn't read my "type" of novel. Yeah, I'm implying that she's a homophobe. So now when and where I can, I will discourage other gay writers from submitting to her. Why send your book to someone you know will give a bad review to gay authors?

Also, there may be other reviewers who are not homophobic, but just won't "get" it and therefore give you a lukewarm review. Me and another author got average ratings from a reviewer, but when we compared our scores to other authors, we found that inspirational books and straight black relationship novels got top honors. Will I submit to them again? Probably so, because it's more publicity, but I won't expect an A+ rating because I know they'd rather read straight fiction or inspiration.

I've gotten some really fair reviews from time to time, though. They point out some flaws that I knew about, but appreciated that they didn't gloss over. Getting GREAT reviews all the time will give you the big head.

But we can talk more about that later.

I am really excited for Atlanta! Scared to fly, but happy for the trip!

And now, I leave you with a quote from Rev. Barry Hargrove, my frat brother and friend: "That's the way life goes. Sometimes it sucks to be you, sometimes it sucks to be the other person."

AMEN!

Posted on at 6:33 AM | Comments (0)

Fred Smith Event

Please join Frederick Smith as he reads and signs his debut novel, DOWN FOR WHATEVER, at University of Southern California (University Park Campus, south of downtown L.A. , 110 Freeway) on Wednesday, August 31, 2005 at 7 pm in the Norman Topping Student Activities Center. The event is free. Light refreshments will be served.
DOWN FOR WHATEVER is a mesmerizing first novel that follows the lives of four friends in L.A. , who wonder if true love can be found where Black, Latino, and Gay Pride collide with the intricacies of family, community, ethnicity, and class issues. It has also been described as a Black and Latino 'Queer as Folk' meets 'Sex and The City' set in L.A.

The novel is published by Kensington Publishing Corp., and has received positive reviews from both readers and literary reviewers since its debut in July 2005. DOWN FOR WHATEVER is available in independent and chain bookstore nationwide, as well as at several online retailers.

This event is being presented as a part of USC's Welcome Week, and is sponsored by the USC LGBT Center, Center for Black Cultural and Student Affairs, and El Centro Chicano. While the event is free, there is a nominal cost for parking on campus. Guests are asked to enter Gate 3 off of Figueroa St. and park in the nearby structure.

For more information, please contact the USC LGBT Center at (213) 740-7619, the Center for Black Cultural and Student Affairs at (213) 740-8257, or El Centro Chicano at (213) 740-1480. You may also visit the USC website at www.usc.edu for event information.

www.fredericksmith.net
www.simplyfredsmith.blogspot.com
www.kensingtonbooks.com

--
Fred's novel, DOWN FOR WHATEVER, a black and Latino 'Queer as Folk' meets 'Sex & The City' in L.A., released July 2005 on Kensington Books. www.fredericksmith.net or www.simplyfredsmith.blogspot.com

Posted on August 26, 2005 at 5:32 PM | Comments (0)

A Rage in Literature

A Rage in Literature – Gay Authors Ascend Into Midtown Atlanta

Atlanta, GA. In The Life Atlanta cordially invites you to a Reading and Book Signing for GLBT authors. The Literary Café is scheduled for Sunday, September 4, from 5 – 7 pm. Meet and greet the authors at the Sheraton Colony Square Hotel during the 2005 Atlanta Black Gay Pride Celebration. There is a $5 donation and it is open to the public. Books will be available for purchase. Event Sponsor is Outwrite Bookstore & Coffeehouse.

Black gay and lesbian literature is not just for black gay and lesbian people. It is for everyone who recognizes the humanity in all people, everyone who wants to understand the whole of the black experience, and everyone who refuses bias, prejudice and hypocrisy in their lives and in their reading.

Invited authors are:

 Dayne Avery, I Wrote This Song
 Samiya Bashir, Where the Apple Falls
 Laurinda D. Brown, Fire & Brimstone, Under Cover
 Rashid Darden, Lazarus
 Imani Evans, Today is a Miracle
 James E. Hardy, A House Is Not a Home
 Ken Jackson, Colorful Matters
 Trent Jackson, At This Moment
 Jazzy, Introducing ROE: Rules of Engagement
 Frederick Smith, Down For Whatever
 Toy Styles, Rainbow Heart
 Eric Ware, The Hollywood Colored
 Fiona Zedde, Bliss

• Mistress of Ceremonies – Trish Carter, Linger…Lust is Surface

Posted on August 25, 2005 at 7:14 AM | Comments (0)

All these people can't be wrong

I finished reading Lazarus about a week ago. It is such a well-written book and it kept my attention the entire time I read. Rashid Darden is indeed a writer to keep an eye on. His writing is mesmerizing...

The story of college student, Adrian Collins, is one that will resonate with anyone who has attended a university. But it will appeal especially to those students who are black, highly involved on campus, interested in Greek-letter organizations, and dealing with managing friendships, relationships, and the inevitable questions of sexuality and sexual orientation.

While this is fiction, I couldn't help but to reminisce on my own college experiences and days... and those of my friends and cousins. This novel puts you there again... or, if you haven't gone yet, gives you a picture of the struggles and challenges of being a college student today.

Lazarus is a novel that I am recommending to many people. Good job Mr. Darden.
--Frederick Smith, Author of Down For Whatever

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There are no down low predators wounding female coeds in the pages of Lazarus. These are brothers who are deeply entrenched in campus life as leaders, frat brothers, and star poets. These are men who are discreet and brave. These are real “big men on campus” who just happen to be gay. Their journeys to coming out are fascinating reads. You must read this book today.
--Alicia Banks, Columnist

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…Rashid Darden is ushering in a new day in Black literature!

The debut novel, Lazarus, is an authentic, engaging work. It displays Mr. Darden's finely honed writing skills and showcases his accessible literary voice. The tale is inhabited by smart, witty, aware and responsible characters, which Darden couldn't have written about if he didn't possess those qualities himself.

Thank you, Rashid, for a wonderful read--for the opportunity to flex my brain and ponder life while being thoroughly entertained. This kind of writing has been conspicuously absent from bookstore shelves. I look forward to more from you. It is a new day!
--Lori V. Lincoln, Author of The Era of My Youthful Ways

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When this book was turned over to me, I was told it was a “quick read.” This is true, not because it is a short book, but because when you pick it up—you can’t bear to put it down! By the time you finish it, you will realize how much we are all ‘slaves’ to society. You will also recognize just how much masquerading we do in everyday life just to “fit in”. Rashid Darden paints an exquisite portrait of college life, urban youth and the secrets we all hold from the world to maintain the image we wish to portray.
--Robert Denson, III; Sunpiper Press
Click here to download the full Sunpiper review!

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...his generally plainspoken writing style achieves a certain simple beauty when used to describe the various firsts of new love: first eye contact, first physical contact, first tentative confessions of love. He writes about man-to-man lovemaking with sensitivity and sensuality, never escaping into the medical or sinking to the pornographic.
--Larry Duplechan; Author, Eight Days A Week, Blackbird, Tangled Up In Blue, and Captain Swing.

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The novel takes the reader on a journey through one young man's rite of passage from being an ordinary college sophomore, through a relationship, into the trials of pledging a fraternity, and to the ultimate triumph of his personal character. I'm trying my best to avoid giving any spoilers; readers should experience Lazarus for themselves. Let me just say that in the hands of a lesser author, several of the characters might have read flat and the ending probably would have been all roses and skipping off into the sunset. Not so with Rashid Darden. He gives us a story that is believable and filled with individuals who remain true to their character throughout.
--malik m.l. williams; Artist, Poet, Performer

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Rashid Darden is one of the brightest writers of the new millennium. His strength shines superbly in every sentence, his passion in every paragraph. Reading Rashid is reading into the depths of your soul.
--Omekongo Dibinga, Spoken Word Poet

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It was hard to stop reading it because it felt so real to me. Lazarus exemplified my experiences as a black gay male in college and I could easily identify myself with the main character.
--Grad Student, University of Michigan

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Wow, I've read just about every African American Male same gender loving novel out (at least 30) to date, and not one story has captured me with the contempory essence that Lazarus has....For this to be an independent release, I must first say that the writing is practically flawless and the quality of the total package is completely professional.
--A Reader in Richmond, VA

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...a ground breaking story with colorful characters and a captivating storyline. It takes you on a enthralling roller coaster ride as you follow the journey and the battles of Adrian, the protagonist, as he tries to balance school, his embryonic love life and an arduous pledge process. Lazarus also takes many on a trip back down memory lane; to the college days, when there was nothing better than a BANGIN' college party or watching a fraternity or sorority probate on the Yard (Quad).
-- Higher Education Professional, Los Angeles, California

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Rashid Darden has an extraordinary ability to focus his readers on several important challenges - when to acknowledge same gender preference, balancing relationships with a significant other vs. one's own aspirations, dealing with homosexuality in the college setting and in the black fraternity world. This novel follows in the footsteps of works by E. Lynn Harris and is a must read if we are to move toward a reasonable dialogue on a highly controversial subject.
-- Educator, North Carolina

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The humor, believability and diverse nature of the characters revealed through the engrossing story line and unpredictable turn of events are what make this novel such a treat. In addition, the realistically interwoven themes conveyed through earnest narrative of the main character make this novel a delight.
-- An Alpha Phi Omega Brother in Miami, Florida

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This novel is very alive and compelling. The characters are real, the situations are plausible, the action is exciting. As a student on a college campus, it rings almost too true. Nevertheless, it is a book that I will reread again, and again, and share with many friends. Rashid Darden, your ascent to the top has commenced.
-- A Reader in New York

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Darden presents many pressing issues including fraternity pledging, connecting with family, finding love and soul searching all with astounding accuracy. I am willing to bet most student leaders at any college campus can relate in more than one way to the struggles that Adrian endures throughout the novel. This work is a masterpiece for those entering college, current college students, and college graduates alike.
-- Alumnus, St. John's University

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Ever read a book so good that you refused to eat, sleep, or take care of any other basic bodily functions because you refused to stop reading? A book so interesting that you couldn't stand to be away from it for one minute, because in that one minute you were missing out on the opportunity to find out what happens next? Lazarus is that type of book - I hate to even call it a book, because Lazarus is an experience.

Rashid was able to capture my attention from page one and held me captive throughout this wonderful piece of literature. The characters were so real and the situations were so intense that I often forgot that these were fictional characters in a book. I feel truly blessed to have been able to read Lazarus and I highly recommend that others get ready for its official arrival on the scene - yes it is that serious.
-- Student, American University

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I just couldn't stop reading it! His style is unique!
-- Alumna, University of Pittsburgh

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This book is the epitome of that book that you can't put down...definitely a great entry from a great author. Lazarus is one of those stories that we can all relate to in some ways....from the pledging, to the crunk college party, to the various issues you face while coming of age...Go get it, the author did a WONDERFUL job!
-- An Alpha in Texas

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Darden is a wonderful, articulate and imaginative writer. His unique ability to integrate themes that transcend both gender and class will certainly earn him a place among the best fiction writers of our time.
-- Alumnus, Georgetown University

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Darden holds no punches. It is this true and raw emotion that makes you eager to keep reading, even after the story has ended. Every word on the page is real, breathing life into each character and emotion into each experience. You become attached to the characters and invested in the experience as if you were right there when it all happened.
-- A Zeta in Washington, DC

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I just finished this novel and I can honestly say that I anxiously await the sequel. This book is definitely a page turner and has continued to hold my thoughts hours and hours after I finished it. This book is for any prospective or member of a BGLO seeking the ‘hood, any African American who has (or wants to attend) an institution of higher learning, and/or anyone who desires to get a mere glimpse of the inner turmoil of someone questioning their sexual identity. This author magically weaves together a story the reader can visualize because we have all ‘known’ these kind of people. The writing makes us fall in love with his characters. I love this book because the characters are flawed yet sincere, and the story is one I can especially relate to as a graduate of Predominantly White Institutions.

It seems this author has created a voice for those previously unheard...I most certainly look forward to adding his many future works to my personal library. Definitely purchase this novel!!!!! You will be left quenched, but thirsty for more.
-- An AKA in North Carolina

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Author Rashid Darden tells a tale of brotherhood, courage, determination and love in his well written debut novel. The story’s colorful characters will keep you entertained. When you finish reading this story, you will feel as though you went through the ups and downs of pledging. This is truly an emotional story.
-- Tracey Marshall

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The dialogue creates an excellent chemistry between the reader and the book--I didn't want to let go.
-- Senior, Georgetown Univesity

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The book is awesome. With each page, you felt as if you were on campus with the brothers. When they were on line, I could almost sense their stress, anxiety and pain. Great reading. I could not put the book down. Looking forward to your next publication.
-- Pattie, Baltimore, MD

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I just got my book yesterday, and I read it all in one sitting. I literally could NOT wait to see the story unfold....Being a part of a BGLO, I found a personal connection with the Adrian and his LBs; I felt like I was a part of their process. The book made me reflect on my own process and my experience in the Black Greek community, and how my process affected those around me. I think Darden did an excellent job portraying the two basic attitudes an aspirant will encounter from friends and family: they are either excited, supportive and understanding of the time constraints; or they want to be supportive of you, but cannot handle the pressure of your absence. This story is universal for all of us who have gone through any type of process in life that caused great stress and sacrifice. The only question I have left is...where is Calen, and how can I get in touch with him?! LOL
-- A Sigma Gamma Rho in Maryland

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...As a non greek, I enjoyed reading about their trails and struggles to become greek. A book that I have read twice since it arrived last week. You will get caught up and wont put the book down. Great job...
-- Alumna, Gallaudet University

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What I liked most is the use of similes and metaphors. They really helped to paint a picture, yet are not overused. Rashid Darden does a superb job with the level of descriptive detail in his writing. It's almost as if you are right there in the same room with the characters.

...Many men have had to deal with the very issues that Adrian faced in Lazarus , and I thought Rashid was brilliant with the way in which he handled some very tough social issues.

I encourage everyone to get their copy of Lazarus today. It's a decision you won't regret.
-- Will Saunders, Suburban Maryland

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This book was great. I think Rashid did a great job at capturing the process of becoming interested in the greek world on college settings. This book left me wanting more. He was great at capturing the life of fraternities while at the same time having a GOOD storyline that was not dependent on the pledging aspects. Great Read!
-- A Delta in Chicago

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I've missed my stop on many a train reading your book.
-– A Reader in Brooklyn, NY

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Damn good.
-– A Reader in Silver Spring, MD

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Rashid's skillful writing style brings together characters and plots seamlessly and I am thoroughly enjoying the book thus far. The way he is able to intersect the multiple identities of his characters is masterful. As a gay Alpha, the book is resonating LOUDLY with me. Go frat!
-– A Resident Director in Washington, DC

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I couldn't put it down. I began reading it at the airport in DC and finished before I made it to Memphis. And that's a record time…bout 5hrs!
-- A Zeta in Memphis, Tennessee

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Rashid, you've renewed my faith in fiction. After being a Georgetown English major, I've experienced a major burnout when it comes to reading for pleasure. "Lazarus" has not only ignited the flame, but now it's burning strong.
–- Alumna, Georgetown University

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I haven't read a novel this year that comes close!
-- A Reader in London, England

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The book was off the chain! From start to finish I was hooked and couldn't put it down. I can't wait for the next one.
–- A Reader in Chicago, Illinois

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What would a white, straight, woman take from a book about a black, gay, man? Granted, we're both Greeks, but would that really be enough to pull me into the book? While I definitely related to the greek aspect of the book… the book touched me in a much deeper way…You are truly a wonderful writer, and I am certain you will exceed even your own expectations.
-– A Reader in the Bronx, NY

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Lararus is one of the greatest books that I have read in a long time. It’s very emotional and connects with the [plight] of African Americans, the fraternity life and coming out.
--A Delta in New York City

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There is true warmth in this man's writing. The characters are full and rich, the emotions are pure and heartfelt, and the problems are real and not bound by the barriers of race, gender, or preference...Kudos to an author who has no choice but to be a legend in the making with this wonderful addition to Black Literature.
– Teacher, Baltimore, MD

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The novel Lazarus was truly unlike any other work of fiction that I have read in a while. As a college-educated black male, it was refreshing to have a story that was set against a relatable backdrop. Often times we read stories black literature with characters with lavish jobs and lavish homes and their soap opera like dramas. This tale has characters and situations right out of our own experiences. I appreciated the consciousness of the characters who struggled with issues of not only sexuality, but being black on a white college campus, as well as the relevance of the fraternities and sororities. Adrian, Savion & crew are characters that I can truly envision walking among us. Adrian’s journey is definitely one that I look forward to experiencing. While it didn’t take long to read the book, it was a lasting story and one whose continuation I am anxiously awaiting.
--Financial Professional and Florida A&M Alumnus

Posted on August 22, 2005 at 2:53 PM | Comments (2)

Atlanta, baby!

Don’t forget that if you will be in Atlanta on Thursday, September 1 at around 7:00pm, I want to see you! Come on over to a very informal meet and greet at the Red Chair Restaurant in Midtown Atlanta. I hear the food and drinks are really good so come on out and support a local business and a new author (me!) at the same time.

If you miss me on Thursday, I will be selling copies of Lazarus at the Black Pride Marketplace at the Sheraton Colony Square Hotel, also in Midtown at 118 Fourteenth Street, Northeast, on the following dates and times:

Friday, September 2 from 4pm to 11pm
Saturday, September 3 from 10am to 10pm
Sunday, September 4 from 12 noon to 4pm

And finally, I will be participating in the Black Pride Literary Café from 5pm to 9pm on Sunday, September 4, also at the Sheraton Colony Square Hotel. It would be so great if I could have a big showing there from any and everyone who supports my work as an author.

This is my first time in Atlanta in over ten years – make sure you stop and see me at one of these events so my trip can be a memorable one!

Posted on August 21, 2005 at 9:13 PM | Comments (0)

Summer Allergies and other fun things

I really had a rough sleep last night....a very deep sleep, but I was very conscious of the fact that I couldn't breathe through my nose. My mouth was so dry from breathing through it. I woke up with cottonmouth.

Did somebody say COTTONMOUTH????

As your leader, I encourage you from time to time -- and always in a respectful manner -- to question my logic. If you're unconvinced that a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so. But allow me to convince you and I promise you, right here and now, that no subject will ever be taboo. Except of course the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is...I collect your fuckin' head. Just like this fucker here. Now if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say now's the fucking time! I didn't think so.

But I digress.

Had some dreams about being at Howard during the end of the academic year and gripping my APO Brother Bill Keene. (Wrong grip, but we won't get into that.)

Speaking of grips....I'm adding a new section to my website. Well, it's already added, but I'm not linking it to the main site as of yet. It's not private or anything. Just a new home for the content that used to be on my chapter website. [Comments deleted in the interest of fraternalism.]

I've been very productive lately, considering I haven't done a bunch of travelling in the past few weeks. Lots of things are in the air, but announcements will be made by the end of the week. A little ticked off that the restaurant where I want to have my meet & greet hasn't gotten back to me yet, but it's not a disaster situation, so I'm not worried.

Atlanta is going to be off the hook. I have lofty sales goals but I think they are achievable. Five days, four nights, and ___ books sold would be pretty good. [number deleted because that would just be tacky, not wouldn't it?]

I was talking to my friend last night and realized something. So a few years back I was in Lambda Rising Bookstore in DC and picked up a postcard at the cash register. It was advertising Elliot Torres' first volume of poetry. It was professional and Elliot was handsome, so I figured he'd do well. But what I realized was that before this year, I hadn't been in Lambda Rising for YEARS! Part of that is because I just didn't have much reason to be in DuPont Circle very often. But I realized that I had a black book fetish, and Lambda wasn't selling many black books. But now they are. (And I'm one of them, he he) And I think that's a beautiful thing. Growing up, Lambda felt lily white and "alternative." Now it's like a small Borders, you know? I really like it and I'm glad I can get black books there, especially since I don't really see gay black books in black bookstores.

Speaking of which....I need to contact those fuckers. My national chain (still unannounced, but stay tuned) got back to me just about the same day they got my inquiry. I'm hoping this particular black bookstore is being slow and not homophobic. I doubt they'd carry it like that -- that's less money for them. But who knows...in the back of my mind, I'll always be concerned about African American stores and media outlets.

Anyway...today I have even more work to do, but it's been going smoothly, so I'm not worried.

Somebody I know keeps calling me "the hardest working man I know in this book thing." That's really flattering! I do work pretty hard. Maybe one day it'll pay off. :-)

Posted on August 9, 2005 at 7:52 AM | Comments (2)

An interview!

I have been interviewed on sororitysister.net by Dorrie Williams-Wheeler!

Check it out here: http://www.sororitysister.net/rashiddardeninterview.htm

Here are some previous reviews and interviews:

Interview At Steven G. Fullwood's Blog
Interview At Sunpiper Press
Review by Alicia Banks
Review and Interview by malik m.l. williams
Review at Books to Watch Out For
Review at Rod 2.0

Posted on August 8, 2005 at 10:05 AM | Comments (1)

Fire and Ink -- Postponed!

Ugh, I am so ticked about this. The Fire and Ink Conference (for gay black writers) has been postponed. It also seems it's not going to be held in Austin, TX, anymore. I can't lie, that's a relief. Ain't nothin in Texas with queers and steers, and I don't have any horns, so I must be a queer!

Oh yeah...I am! lol

Okay, but seriously, I was really looking forward to this, and it sucks that it's getting postponed. And honestly, though I really have no desire to visit Texas, I was looking forward to Austin. (See how The Real World improves commerce and tourism?)

Now, what would be HOT is if they had Fire and Ink at Howard! Not only because I only live ten minutes away from Howard....not only because I selfishly want all of my conventions to be in DC so I don't have to spend plane fare, but because I think it's pretty revolutionary to have a GAY black literary conference at the so=called "Mecca." I mean, this is the place where Zora Neale Hurston walked....and plenty of other talented black writers, gay or not.

ALSO....I am always contemplating the messages we send to LGBT/SGL youth. Imagine the buzz at Howard if they knew all these gay folk were having a conference there. Imagine if BLAGOSAH (the gay organization at Howard) was enlisted to help out.

Imagine if the call was sent to black professors everywhere to try and recruit their gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered/same gender loving students to come to this conference. Sure, they might not know who's livin' who, but just announcing the event before class starts would do so much to promote Fire and Ink. Students have access to departments and departments have access to funds. The savvy gay writer who is an undergrad or grad student would be able to convince their department or their Black Student Alliance to send them to Fire and Ink.

Or even their Multicultural Centers...or Minority Centers...or whatever your school calls it.

By the way, when all else fails, ask your Dean. Deans have discretionary funds. Know your Dean. Love your Dean.

AND....(sheesh I'm excited about this).... when you include undergrads and grad students in an event like this, you are helping them kick start their careers. Lots of writers in general don't really get started until they're in their 30s or 40s, at the point where they have the leisure or savings to actively pursue a writer's life. Well, what if we could show young aspiring writers that writing itself can be a career?

If I had truly known about Fire and Ink in 2002, and I mean really encouraged to attend, I think Lazarus would have been on the shelves in early 2004 instead of 2005. I bullshitted and bojangled on my career while I was in grad school. (But that's another entry.)

But of course, Fire and Ink isn't just for aspiring gay black writers....it's for published ones, too. Which is why so many of us are going. It's our biennial chance to network with just us. Prides are great for networking, too, but everyone can't go to ALL the Prides. Everyone CAN go to Fire and Ink if they MAKE it a destination.

I hope the new date and location is established SOON. I am eager to do this damn thing!

Fire and Ink Postpones Festival

Posted on August 6, 2005 at 8:48 AM | Comments (5)

Good News and Advice

Good News:

A national book chain sent me a letter (in response to my query) saying: "...the appropriate buyer has reviewed it [Lazarus] and expressed an interest in placing an order."

Woo hoo! I don't want to say which chain yet, but I will say that it's my favorite one. :-)

Now, he is the not-as-good-but-still-encouraging news. The distributor that I had secured doesn't appear to have an account with the chain. This is not surprising. I am pretty much only counting on this distributor to get me into stores and stands in the New York area. But of course, they tell you anything, including that the chain was one of their stores that they vend to. (Even when I heard this, I didn't really believe it.)

So, what I have to do is secure a distributor/wholesaler from the list that the chain provided to me. When I called to follow-up, the chain did even better -- they whittled that list down to two distributors and confirmed that they didn't seem to have a relationship with my existing distributor.

The good part is that since this national chain is ALREADY interested in Lazarus, it shouldn't be too hard to convince a distributor to carry the novel.

I really want to go to a second printing before the end of the year. That would be hot.

Wish me luck! I will announce the distributor and the store as soon as it's all finalized.

---

Advice:

If you are a self-published author, please ma'am and please sir, invest in padded envelopes. Now, I know that some of you have gotten copies of Lazarus that may have been bent due to Peaches the mail carrier trying to cram your mail into your mail slots. For that, I apologize. I use padded envelopes in order to avoid damaged products.

IDEALLY, you want small boxes, big enough for just one book. But for most self-published authors, that doesn't happen just because of the expense.

MOST of us use padded envelopes. I haven't gotten too many complaints about the condition of the books that I send out, so I assume they do the job.

You do NOT want to use Priority Mail envelopes or regular, non-padded envelopes. I received a book yesterday and I was pissed off. It was in a priority enveloped that had been ripped -- an entire corner was gone. PLUS, part of the book was creased/wrinkled at the bottom left corner, near the spine. Now, it was already bad enough that there had been a mistake in the order in the first place (I ordered two and only got one last week -- this was the second one) but now my isht had to be slightly damaged? Ugh. The inside is still crisp and tight, but I was highly disappointed.

The damage could have been avoided with a padded envelope. When you buy in bulk, they're really not all that expensive. Heck, tack it onto the shipping charges if you have to, it will be worth it.

Speaking of shipping charges -- I hope y'all know that of the four bucks I charge for shipping, PayPal takes 85 cents of that before I even see it. I ship by priority mail nowadays, so it really costs more to ship that I charge. I hope y'all appreciate that, LOL.

Oh yeah, somebody else sent me a self-published book of poetry that was also in bad condition. Again, padded envelopes! I can't stress that enough.

While we're on the subject of how use self-published authors screw up sometimes, let me say that it hurts my heart to know that yes, even Rashid Darden has grammatical mistakes in Lazarus. A lot more than I thought might have slipped by. And yes, I have a degree in English. And yes, my editor is a writer by trade. I honestly believe that while some things did slip by us, I think that some formatting may have been lost in the conversion process from Word to PageMaker to PDF.

Excuses are tools of the incompetent, so that's no excuse....but I will say that from this point out, I will change the order in which I edit my work. It will make the editing process longer, but it will be worth it.

I will continue to write and do personal edits in MS Word. When I send it to my small circle for advice and proofreading, I will still use the "Comments" and "Track Changes" feature in Word.

After I make those changes, THEN I will convert the word document to a Page Maker document and lay it out how I want it. This wasn't a huge problem last time, once I got the knack of it.

I will then convert it to a PDF file and THEN get my editor to review it. Previously, the editor had reviewed the word file, which wasn't a problem, but I think maybe on both of our parts there wasn't a sense of "urgency" you know? I think she might have fallen victim to the same things my friends experienced. The book just got so engrossing about half-way through that the minor mistakes were overlooked.

And speaking of which, I know y'all see them, so thanks for not getting too mad at me about it. :-)

Anyway....we all live and we all learn. Thank you all for learning with me. I know that Lazarus isn't perfect, but I am definitely striving for perfection. I'm humble enough to learn from my mistakes and grow from them.

Have a great day everyone!

Posted on August 2, 2005 at 8:01 AM | Comments (5)

Sequels

This post is a friendly response to Frederick Smith's blog entry about Sequels.

I must respectfully disagree with this:

Anyway, my take on sequels is this... I don't write a project with the intention of writing a sequel or continuation. To me, a project, novel, movie, etc... should be complete and self-contained within itself. The story should resolve and have a beginning, middle, and end. I think it's only fair for the consumer for a book to be complete and not with a deliberate cliff hanger.

Well, I only slightly disagree. I do not think a novel should EVER end in the middle of a story. I definitely think a novel should have a beginning, middle, and end....better yet, the five parts of a story: exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, and the resolution. (Yes, I am old school like that -- sorry.)

All of my novels have those basic parts, because well, my English teachers taught me well. But, because I was influenced by the age of the sequel and serial, I never once thought of Lazarus as a singular phenomenon. If you've gotten yours yet, you will see a teaser for the first sequel, Covenant.

Back story -- this whole project began as a play called Behind Closed Doors, later renamed Discretion. After lots of editing and revising, I had a solid piece of drama in my hands. But I spoke with my mentor, and the only character he didn't like was Savion.

Clutch the pearls! Who in their right mind wouldn't like Savion?

So, because I felt Savion was so integral to the story of Adrian Collins, I went back to the drawing board. Discretion was put on hold and the story of how Adrian met Savion and pledged Beta was told. And that's how we got Lazarus.

We got Covenant because it was actually the first story written, albeit in a different form. Of course, it got rewritten and revised until it became something that wasn't so similar to Discretion.

So my take on sequels as a whole....I think they can be powerful as long as the writing evolves and the themes are fresh. I like soap operas a lot -- Days of Our Lives and The Young and The Restless are my favorites. Days is suffering lately though, while Y&R thrives. This is directly related to the writing. Y&R keeps things fresh and exciting -- they killed Cassie, for God's sake! Days...well...Days is falling back on the same old plot devices: amnesia, kidnapping, and paternity games.

I, like Frederick, also liked VC Andrews novels while growing up. And before her, I read lots of teenage supernatural novels. I can't remember the names, but two of my favorites were about vampire twins and a coven of witches. (So sad I ended up giving them away.) So I guess this notion of novels as chapters of an epic is okay with me.

I wish I could share more about the direction of the Lazarus novels, but that would give too much away. Personally, I think that there are enough unique themes in their world to keep telling great stories. And honestly, I do think of my readers when writing-- and I think of myself as a reader. For whatever reason, most people I know just don't want the characters to which they've grown attached to just ride off in the sunset.

Hell, I want to know what happened to everyone in School Daze, too. But I digress.

What isn't very literary, in my opinion, is when a novel blatantly ends with no resolution, when it's point is to make you buy the next one to "finish" the story. It feels unfulfilling -- hell, it's cheating!

I am working on project #3 right now and I know how I want it to end. And every issue in it gets resolved -- but, there will be a project #4 and what I have to be careful about is how I set it up. I am tempted to do a shocking cliffhanger so my readers can say "oh hell naw!" But I don't want it to be hokey, either.

(Sidenote -- y'all are realllly gonna like #3)

So....sequels...I like them. The average human being has dozens of stories in them -- why not stretch my own limits as a writer and show growth, not only in the main protagonist, but in his antagonists, supporting characters, etc.

But hey....every writer has his own approach! If you like writing using the same characters in different situations, just make sure you're not falling into a literary rut. Don't have Jack and Jill go up a French hill, a Dutch hill, and then an Australian hill and wonder why your sales are decreasing...hee hee...

And conversely, don't think you're all that unique just because Jack and Jill went up a French hill and Leon and Starquashia went up a Brooklyn hill in a different novel... ;-)

Posted on July 25, 2005 at 7:42 PM | Comments (4)

Gotta be careful....

I met Sheryl Underwood and gave her a copy of my novel!!!! My hand was shaking SOOOOO much that I could barely inscribe it. I gave her the "pitch" and she sounded excited, saying something like "Ooooooh this sounds like something I'm going to read in my hot tub!"

I was such a dork...I asked her for a hug like them people on Ricki Lake or Oprah might do, LOL.

Anyway, I gave her the book and asked her to email me when she'd finished. Soooooooo that would be REALLY nice if she did that. I know she's busy and all, but still. Just to know that she has it is awesome.

Can't say much about the rest of the weekend....but I am glad I went where I went and met who I did!

Posted on July 24, 2005 at 6:34 PM | Comments (3)

SATURDAY! ALL DC FOLKS!

This is late notice…I apologize. This event will be SATURDAY, JULY 23 -- TODAY for most of you!

Dr. Gregory Parks will be signing his book African-American Fraternities and Sororities: The Legacy and Vision at the Marriott Wardman Park Hotel, located at 2660 Woodley Road, NW in Washington, DC. (LESS THAN ONE BLOCK from the Woodley Park-Zoo metro station.) He will be there from 8am to 4pm. PLEASE come out and support this Alpha Author. The book is phenomenal and there are plenty on hand. There will be very limited opportunities to have a SIGNED copy of Legacy and Vision in the future as Dr. Parks will be starting law school in the fall and won’t have much travel time.

He will be located in the Delaware Room on the Lobby Level of the Marriott Wardman Park Hotel from 8am to 4pm.

This event is part of the Zeta Phi Beta 85th Anniversary Celebration. Please come out and support Dr. Parks on one of his last book signings!

--Rashid

Posted on July 22, 2005 at 10:06 PM | Comments (2)

Happy

It's moving slowly, but that's how I know Project #3 will be even better than my first two novels. I am quite pleased with the first chapter.

I also realized something....and maybe this won't be true for all of my works...but no matter how much outlining and planning I do, the story always takes on a life of its own. I know now, having written the first chapter, that all the big plans I had for this novel will be thrown out of the window. The plot will be simple and the storytelling plainspoken (as I believe is my trademark).

I'm just REALLY happy with this so far. I am developing characters that I am enjoying immensely.

On a Lazarus note, I will be lingering around the Woodley neighborhood this weekend (well, starting on Thursday) doing some guerilla marketing at this conference thingy. I don't want to say too much about it since I am technically crashing it. But with a face like this, how can I be denied? lol. But seriously, I would have registered for this thing when my resources got freed up -- but by that time, they closed registration and aren't offering any on-site registration. *le sigh*

I have a couple of ideas brewing in my head for after my Lazarus related novels wrap up. I'm really interested in "mashing up" two different genres in ways that they aren't traditionally brought together. Octavia Butler does this by combining science fiction with multicultural themes. I love that about her. If I had unlimited resources, I could probably come out with a new novel a year for fifteen years. That's how much I love to write.

At any rate, it's going to be a slow Sunday, I think. Which is fine with me because I'll be "on" for three days at the end of this week, so I need to save my energy.

And I THINK I feel a poem coming on....I'll try to work that out...

Posted on July 17, 2005 at 11:23 AM | Comments (1)

A New Review

Check out this great review of Lazarus by Alicia Banks, Public Intellectual, Educator, Scholar, Radio Producer & Host, Columnist, and Singer.

Says Alicia:

There are no down low predators wounding female coeds in the pages of Lazarus. These are brothers who are deeply entrenched in campus life as leaders, frat brothers, and star poets. These are men who are discreet and brave. These are real “big men on campus” who just happen to be gay. Their journeys to coming out are fascinating reads. You must read this book today.

So check out the review!

Posted on July 14, 2005 at 9:08 AM | Comments (1)

Great news all the way around....

First of all, I want to send a special thank you to a very special person who made SO MANY of my dreams come true today. THANK YOU....thank you...thank YOU. Seriously. You're getting a phone call as soon as my night time minutes kick in. :-)

Now for more good news:

Lazarus is now available at the Georgetown University Bookstore! Located right on the campus of Georgetown University, just go ask for Lazarus. It will be among the commercial books (not textbooks).

Lazarus has also been picked up on a non-exclusive basis by Culture Plus Books! Culture Plus is a distributor that focuses on African American books and has relationships with both national and independent stores. I will be sending them a smallish number of books to start with as a "test run." But I am confident that these books will sell quickly with a nice Old Gold Soul-style promotional campaign. ;-)

Although Charlotte won't be happening (*sigh*) I promise you...you will see me. SOON.

Thank you to ALL of you who have been reading this blog...seriously, prayer changes things and I appreciate your prayers and your comments. This whole thing is tough but I've known all along that I'm not in it by myself. From the grassroots up, so many people have been in my corner rooting for me.

All because I wrote a little book called Lazarus. I wrote this book to be a vehicle for change, and because of all of you, it's happening. Lazarus is not just entertainment...I want people to think, reflect, grow, and change.

Because of your help, that change is happening.

I've made so many friends along the way.... too many to name here, but please believe that you will hear from me, often and sincerely. I am so grateful.

Anyway....I think I am going to write a silly post next -- just because I can!

Posted on July 13, 2005 at 4:36 PM | Comments (3)

Uh-huh

Y'all ain't ready.

Posted on July 3, 2005 at 11:40 AM | Comments (2)

Good News

Don't want to share the details right now, but I got several positive emails today. Lazarus is going places!

Posted on June 23, 2005 at 4:34 PM | Comments (0)

I am a spammer.

I just got an eight sentence email from a webmaster than didn't even have the guts to leave their name, LOL. People are so stupid.

Part of my marketing strategy for Lazarus is to talk about my book on message boards. A while back, I joined a BUNCH of message boards. I really tried to actively participate, really I did. But for the most part, many of these message boards are wiggedy wack. So I basically would start my OWN thread, usually in a Literature/Books/Entertainment thread so that the posts would be relevant. It would say "Lazarus by Rashid Darden" or something of that nature. Anytime I wanted to update the public about what was going on with the novel, I would post in THAT thread.

In my head, that's not spamming. Starting multiple threads on the same topic, changing the focus of existing conversations to fit your needs -- that's spamming.

So anyway, I could have ignored the email, but I felt like being a bitch today:

You know, I DID want to point out that my posts were all in the appropriate section of your forum (Books/Literature or whatever) and therefore were on-topic. You no longer have those separate sections of your forum, so of course I won’t make a new thread to discuss my book. It was my hope that by having a thread that was about the book, rather than creating new ones every time I had information to share, that it would be as unobtrusive as possible.

As I said before, a simple “please don’t do that” would have sufficed. It’s not that deep to me and really shouldn’t be to you.

Eight sentences, dawg. Eight sentences on a Black and Asian Unity Forum that had a BOOK section!

Let me just say one more thing....in all my time promoting Lazarus via the internet, African American people have ALWAYS had my back and bent "spamming" rules in my favor. It's like black folks understand more than anyone else just how tough it is for self-published writers. We have a collective understanding of our self-published heroes, like E. Lynn Harris. We know sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

I've quit like three different white gay yahoo groups for writers because they didn't accept my announcements about the book. Nearly ALL the black writers groups I am on accept announcements. I don't beg people to purchase Lazarus....I make them aware of my journey. There are very few black people who DON'T appreciate this.

So...whatever....I did my research and the people who run this website in question are losers anyway, LOL.

Bus how I responded to their email and it bounced back? REAL PROFESSIONAL, lolol.

And they are wack at website design.

Yes, I feel like being a petty bitch today.

Have a good one!

Posted on June 16, 2005 at 6:54 AM

FYI

FYI:

LAZARUS by Rashid Darden is now available at Matais Books, Cards, and Art, the ONLY African American gay and lesbian bookstore in the country.

Visit them on the web at www.matais.com or in person at 3203 E. Broadway in Long Beach, California.

Lazarus is still available from www.oldgoldsoul.com, www.amazon.com, or at a Pride festival near you!

Posted on June 13, 2005 at 2:13 PM | Comments (1)

Distributors

I am so relieved.

I have FINALLY finished my marketing plan. My marketing plan, though in my head since last year, has only just now been written down in a format that would be suitable for potential distributors.

A distributor (in theory) sells my books on my behalf to bookstores. Having a distributor isn't mandatory for self-published authors, but it helps a whole lot if you don't have the time or ability to make contact with a lot of bookstores yourself.

Having a distributor also helps when people go to bookstores and ask for your book, but they don't have it on the shelves. If a bookstore knows that Lazarus is available through a major distributor such as Baker and Taylor or Ingram, then it's very simple to order copies. I am starting off by querying specialty distributors, though. Three specialize in African American titles and bookstores, and the fourth specializes in gay books and bookstores. I am confident that at least one, if not all four of those bad boys will pick up Lazarus. My marketing plan is HOT like fire! lol

Since I have limited resources, it makes sense for me to try to secure a distributor. It has been CRAZY trying to get in contact with one particular man at a local gay bookstore -- imagine trying to establish contact with ALL the contacts at ALL the bookstores! CRAZY!

I know this won't solve all my problems, but it will help put my mind at ease.

The drawback to securing a distributor is that you are basically selling your books to them at a significant discount. They need the discount so that when they sell the books to bookstores, they can get a profit.

Did you know that most bookstores operate on a very slim profit margin?

At any rate, it would be nice to pick up a national distributor, too, and one of my author friends (hey girl!) has put me on to some tips and tricks to make that process a little easier. I haven't finished looking into it, but it looks promising.

My next project, now that I have replenished my shipping supplies, is to FINALLY send out review copies of Lazarus to the opinion molders on my list that I could get contact info for. Luckily, I was able to give my book directly to a lot of other authors at Pride, so I saved postage right there.

My readers have always come first, so other aspects of the grand plan have suffered. Ideally, there would have been some gap between my "print date" (fresh of the printer date) and my "publication date" (the arbitrary date I decide the books go on sale). In that gap, I would have been able to do things like send out galleys and whatnot so that most of my incoming reviews would coincide with my publication date. But I had to change the game -- I relied on pre-orders to finance over 50 percent of the cost of printing alone, so I didn't have the luxury of printing the books then waiting for orders.

In essence, I did a LOT at one time. I took pre-orders while letting pre-opinion molders review the manuscript, and later, e-book. I used those reviews to bolster my campaign. I wouldn't have DARED asked for a top-level "opinion molder" like E. Lynn Harris to review a word document via email, LOL. For one, I don't know him like that, nor would I expect someone that busy to be empathetic to my cause.

But, on the other hand, I was SO BLESSED to know people like Robert Denson from Sunpiper Press. He's not yet intenrationally known, but he runs a tight ship over there at Sunpiper. His mission is to help expose new authors, even those he's not representing at Sunpiper. I like him because he's ethical -- he didn't request a damn thing from me in exchange for the review. He's a real professional.

As the months go on, I hope to be reviewed in some national publications, which would be great. Today and tomorrow, I will continue stuffing envelopes, but instead of marketing plans, they will be stuffed with review sheets.

I am excited! Not excited to be giving away books (lol) but definitely excited to be sending books to folks who could potentially give me more good reviews.

Also, I know I'm talented and all (he he he) but sometimes it's a little surreal that so many of my reviews thus far have been positive. And to me, they are from the people who count -- the readers! I mean, if Dan Rather came out and said "Lazarus sucks!" yeah, it would hurt like hell, but is he REALLY in my target audience? Right. He's not.

Now if E. Lynn Harris and James Earl Hardy said my work sucked....yeah...that would hurt...lolol

Coming up one of these days....the great question will be answered:

"If I was approached by a major publishing house to be published, would I take their offer?"

Posted on June 11, 2005 at 5:12 PM | Comments (2)

Super Secret Plans

I forgot to mention that while at work yesterday, I had an epiphany about project #3. I am going to totally change the game up for that one. Can't say more right now...but it's going to be a HUGE payoff for all the real fans and supporters! Oooooh y'all gonna love it. The story itself will be good, but what you will love best is the way it is executed.

Tee hee.

Also, I have some things coming up this summer that SHOULD satisfy everyone who has read Lazarus already, and hopefully bring even more people to it. Don't worry, it's nothing you will have to pay for. I gotta make some contact with some people and hopefully I'll have an update about this in a few weeks.

Don't you love the secrecy? :-D

Posted on June 8, 2005 at 6:07 PM | Comments (2)

Books and Shit

Stolen from Karsh:

1. Total Number of Books You Own: I am estimating around 450 to 500.

2. The Last Book I Bought: All the books by Brent Dorian Carpenter.

3. The Last Book I Read: SONS by Alphonso Morgan

4. Current Book Reading: Taking a break from SONS before I begin The 21st Century Chronicles of Thugg The Barbarian King by Bent Dorian Carpenter.

5. Fiction or Non-Fiction?: I guess I prefer fiction.

6. First Book Read: Pat the Bunny.

7. Most Read Book: The Self-Publishing Manual by Dan Poynter

8. Largest Impact: The White Boy Shuffle by Paul Beatty

9. Favorite Scholarly Book: The Souls of Black Folk by W.E.B. DuBois

10. Sexiest Book: I really don't know...sorry.

11. Biggest Disappointments: Beloved by Toni Morrison

12. Five Books That Mean Something To Me: The Qur'an; Black Feeling Black Talk by Nikki Giovanni; Spoonbread and Strawberry Wine by Norma Jean and Carole Darden; The History of Alpha Phi Alpha: A Development in (Negro) College Life by Charles H. Wesley; and Invisible Life by E. Lynn Harris.

13. Book Tag (you're it): LumaNatic, BlackMartha, anybody else who wants to answer in their blogs or in this space

Posted on June 7, 2005 at 7:09 PM | Comments (1)

Score!

Thanks to a hook-up, James Earl Hardy got a copy of Lazarus. Hopefully he'll read it and fall in love with it. :-)

I'm working today, which is good. Part of me wanted to stay home and write, but I know that suffering through these last few weeks of school will pay off. I need every single hour of work that I can get because when June 21 hits, that's it. No more subbing until the Fall.

Fred Smith hipped me to what goes on at the Book Expo America a little bit. Fred seems like a really cool guy.

I guess I should stop blogging in the nude and put some clothes on and go to work.

PEACE.

Posted on at 7:57 AM | Comments (5)

#3

I have been trying so hard to complete my outline for Project #3. Well....as hard as I can given the fact that I work (damn near) full-time and am trying to create a "tour" for the summer. I'm not quite overwhelmed -- I'm working at my own pace -- but I definitely haven't been in the writing mindset like I'd prefer to be.

By now most of you all know that the sequel to Lazarus is called Covenant, and my goal is to have it available in 2006. My third project would likely debut in 2007. That's IF the money is right, ya know.

In self-publishing, I can't just "decide" to publish a book. A lot has to be in order, primarily finances. It took a lot of resources that I didn't have to produce Lazarus -- I'm happy with the final product though, even though I can't cut all the same corners a second time around.

After I'm confident the finances are together (for the second book, that is), then I get a marketing plan together (another one, in addition to the Lazarus plan). For 2006, the marketing plan will include lots of travel, a "tour" if you will. There are LOTS of events in even numbered years that I could potentially sell books or make appearances at. The four largest black sororities are having conventions, as will the Alphas. Not to mention alllll the gay black pride festivals and different literary festivals. Also in 2006 will be my class reunion and an APO convention.

I am excited. What I am not excited about is how to finance the whole thing.

Things would be different if I actually had a career in addition to publishing. That's not to say that writers with real jobs have it easier -- they are probably way more stressed than I am. But it would be nice to have a little more disposable income.

I'm not complaining though! Please believe I am happy -- for real!

But back to my outline. I am taking a different approach to #3 and it's a challenge. I need all the spare time I can get this summer to work on it. I once thought I'd actually be able to finish the whole thing this summer, but that's a rather lofty goal.

Not to mention I have some editing to do on #2.

I sure could use a laser printer right about now.

I could use a lot of things right now.

How about Amazon.com sucks? Okay, so it doesn't COMPLETELY suck. For some reason people equate being on Amazon with success. All it really means is that I joined a program in which I pay Amazon a (small) annual fee and they purchase books from me at a crazy discounted price. They then sell my books through their website and cut me a check once a month.

Basically, it's consignment. It's not a bad thing, but all in all, I'd rather people purchase the books directly to me because that means I can invest more of that money back into Old Gold Soul.

That means I get to pay for more travel to the different Prides Atlanta is going to damn near break me, and I have no idea how I'm going to afford to go to Fire & Ink. Charlotte Pride is become an impossibility for now. (The upshot is that I may be able to recruit an Old Gold Soul field representative to man a table in Charlotte for me.) But I GOTTA go to New York this summer. Pride is irrelevant, I just have folks I need to see in NY.

Things will be looking up in the coming month though. (Not that things are down at all, I am just venting about things.) After I wrap up subbing (God bless DC schools being in session until JUNE 21) I will have some down time to just get things together and move forward.

One of these days, I am going to post the folks who I envision to be in Lazarus: The Movie some day. That should be fun. Maybe I'll do that tonight.

Posted on June 6, 2005 at 7:26 PM | Comments (2)

The Grind

My diary is shifting its focus a bit. You will notice that one particular category is a bit sparse now. It was time to move on toward a new "me" so to speak. I'm still the same person on the inside, but I need to be mindful that as the months have gone on, I've come into contact with a lot of people.

I appreciate all of you who follow my daily journeys and lessons -- your comments have been very supportive. But like Sarah in the Labyrinth, I've got to take these next steps on my own.

But guess what? You will be able to learn a LOT more about writing and publishing than ever before! Dudes, I am so remedial when it comes to publishing and promoting. It's like being the head of your class at the urban neighborhood school, then you transfer to the magnet high school in the suburbs and you're like DAMN is it REALLY this hard?

So, considering I have a little anxiety type of problem, sometimes promoting is a big deal. I don't talk about it much, but I get really edgy in large crowds. So yes, THAT explains why I was so wound up at the DC Gay Black Pride Festival last weekend. All those people....that HUGE cavernous space. I held up quite well, all things considered. I think that's because there was constant mental stimulation (distraction, if you will) and I was able to FOCUS: on the sale, on the customer, on networking, on the performers, etc.

But now I have to travel a whole lot more than I would have to in my normal life and face bigger crowds, bigger caverns, and more danger strangers. lol.

This is the life I chose, though.

---

These are the things I would get if I were an independently wealthy novelist:

A publicist. Someone to hold my hand and lead me down a red carpet when crazy people are trying to talk to me. "I gotta go," I say. "I'm sorry, I gotta go." Someone to arrange my tours, interviews, personal appearances, all that. On one hand, those are the more fun things about promoting, but on the other, that's just one more damn thing to do.

A personal assistant. Someone to sit next to me for those six hour shifts of book-sellin' at festivals. Someone who understands just how tightly I get wound up and figures out the right things to say to calm me down. Someone who can be my hype-man or hype-woman. The person who my suitors would have to get in good with before they can holla. Someone who can help me keep my life together.

A driver. I hate public transportation. The driver can't be the personal assistant, because the personal assistant has to keep me entertained. But the driver can be entertaining too. I dunno, like Garrett Morris or somebody. But from 30 years ago.

That's about it. I'm sure there are more.

---

So I go to Lambda Rising Bookstore here in DC today. The goal was to meet James Earl Hardy and give him a complimentary copy of my novel. Well, long story short, it seems as though the people at the store weren't sure if he was really coming or not because it wasn't an official signing. So I was like "fuck that, yo" and I left a few copies of Lazarus there and my card. The cashiers I spoke to were Miranda and Dane (Dain?). Dane was saying he really wished I had gotten in Lambda Rising BEFORE last weekend -- because people came to the store requesting my novel!!! I was like are you serious? And he was like yeah. I was was like how many? And he was like five. So I was thinking okay, more like three.

I was excited about that.

Now, the reason I have not put my book in Lambda Rising yet is not a good one -- I just hadn't made the time. But the fact that potential readers were loking for it AND the fact that I saw books from other authors I met in MY section (the black section) I was shamed into getting on the ball and taking the necessary steps to get my book in there.

Again, no particular reason other than not having/making the time. But that will be changing.

I dunno y'all....this is the life I chose. Though the road is bumpy, I think I am doing pretty well. I'm not on the grind as hard as Alphonso Morgan, God bless him. But I am doing more than many. Hell, I did more than many by writing the damn thing, lol.

Posted on June 5, 2005 at 8:11 PM | Comments (4)

It's so sad.....

It's so sad that I come from such a POSITIVE experience this weekend, networking with REAL authors with REAL books that are REALLY selling....to come home to emails from bitter folks who are mad at me because I inadvertently didn't respond to an email they sent me back in February.

I mean, come on....I won't even dignify most of this jerk's email with a post to my blog, but I will say that a brother has SERIOUS issues if he would wish me poor sales. A man must have SERIOUS issues if he thinks my excerpt is SO BAD that he had time to REWRITE IT and email it to me.

And most importantly, a NIGGA has serious issues if he won't even give you the name of his "novel" -- Rashid Darden has never ever turned down a sale.

Folks are CRAZY y'all!!! Like seriously mentally unbalanced. I'm not scared...just full of pity. I can't be all things to all people just because I wrote a book.

Luckily, most people know that. But the fruit loops ALWAYS find me, LOL

Posted on June 2, 2005 at 7:38 AM | Comments (2)

Me and No4Real4Real

It's blurry, dawg! I am so mad at that.

This is No4Real4Real. You might not be able to tell by the picture, but YES, he is hot. To death. I was like DAYUM! Hot people buy my book?

Anyway, No4Real4Real is a cool cat who ordered my book, got it last week, and (coincidentally) came down to DC for Pride. He stopped by my table and introduced himself! That was cool. I want to hang out with him more in the future -- we're around the same age and had similar college experiences.

I PROMISE a detailed update on EVERYTHING...but I gotta go to work!!!!

Posted on May 31, 2005 at 7:11 AM | Comments (8)

Two Online Reviews

LAZARUS: A Novel A review by Rod at Rod Online 2.0 Beta.

LAZARUS, come forth! A review by Malik at the BrothaLove RantSpace.

I am so grateful for these wonderful reviews!!! Please support these two bloggers, okay?

And don't forget the FIRST review at Sunpiper Press by Robert Denson, III!

Posted on May 17, 2005 at 7:20 AM | Comments (1)

What the...(a random entry encompassing all categories)

First of all....HI!

I've not been taking any calls this evening, and only placed one to him. Unfortunately, he got another call from someone he hadn't spoken to in a while, so I just said I'd talk to him tomorrow. I didn't really feel like playing the "waitupreallateandprayhecalls" game. Especially since I was already really tired and I know him -- he'd just fall asleep anyway. C'est la vie.

My boy Dwayne called me tonight and I checked his message...he is feelin' Lazarus and it really made me feel good to know that so many people identify with so many different little parts. One of his favorites so far was the scene in the Metro. (Won't say more for now.) Dwayne is really cool peeps -- I like him.

One of my APO bros from Region IV also called me tonight. I need way more time to holla back at him, I haven't seen him since summer 03 maybe?

And I STILL haven't called back my law school frat who was in town this past weekend. Where has all my energy gone?

Oh, I know...it's gone to that damn school house. I worked all five days last week with a second grade class, then no work monday due to parent conferences. Tuesday I came in to volunteer with the second grade teacher to ease her transition, but I got called in to cover a third grade class, so I got put on the schedule. Today, I subbed for a PE class all damn day! THREE, count them, THREE classes back to back, THEN recess duty! Then about 20 minutes for lunch and a pee break, then two more classes back to back! That shit was ba-noodles.

But fun. I did something slightly different with each class. All in all, only one acted like a little snot rag.

Tomorrow, I go in for the second grade teacher in the morning and the PE teacher in the afternoon, then Friday all day for the other second grade teacher.

I really do like this job, no matter how much I complain.

On that note, why do I feel like my biological clock is ticking and not only am I only 25 (26 next month!) but I don't have a biological clock! lol. I see these bright girls and boys and imagine what it would be like if I had kids like them. I can picture it now....three kids, two boys and a girl. One boy, the oldest, is going to be the "smart" one...overachieving and athletic. The type that would probably WANT to go to boarding school. The middle child is the bad boy -- the one that needs all the extra attention. He's BAD and people can't believe that's Rashid Darden's kid! But he's smart and just acts out because he feels like it. Then there is the baby sister whom everyone adores. Her hurh ALWAYS be in nice cornrows cuz her daddy finally will learn how to cornrow some day. She loves to read and her older brothers protect her fiercely.

Yes, that's that active writer's imagination of mine.

Once I get more settled down, I will mentor first. See if I can ACTUALLY help troubled kids.

Back to the book....yo, what's REALLY scary is that people are literally finishing LAZARUS in a DAY. Part of me is like damn, is it THAT easy of a read? But people are saying that it's good, so hey....it's just good then. Wierd. Weird? Why can I never remember how to spell that.

In terms of Entertainment...somehow, I got addicted to America's Next Top Model. It's good! So yeah, it's in it's fourth season and I didn't start watching until last year, but hey, I like it. My favorite is Naima (sp?) and it seems like she is America's favorite as well.

I'm not terribly interested in American Idol right now. Nor anything on MTV. I guess I am just patiently waiting for Big Brother and The Wire to come back.

I was really mad at myself this week when I had a check bounce. :-( I have automatic deduction for my cell phone bill, and I didn't have enough money in there. And Discover kinda wanted some money, too, and well....I just basically dropped the ball and I am mad about it. I ain't rich or famous enough yet to avoid these mishaps. Argh.

I am excited about Pride this year. I'm gonna be at like EVERYTHING. It should be fun.

Okay, now I am too tired to write more. I don't feel like going to sleep, but I certainly do have to work tomorrow. Maybe I'll write more in the morning.

PEACE.

Posted on May 11, 2005 at 10:40 PM | Comments (4)

A Review!!! (From Rod 2.0 Beta)

The book is neatly divided into four parts: Interest, Rush, Line and Crossing. The books reflect Adrian's stage in the frat process; anyone with just the basics of Greek 101 will understand the significance. For one of the first times, there is a detailed look at hazing and the induction provcess. It's a detailed story about some of the things we have heard about: discipline, hazing, paddling, homophobia and homoeroticism. There is plenty of all this, and this is hot ...

Read the whole review here.

Posted on May 3, 2005 at 7:01 AM | Comments (2)

A Toast to LAZARUS: A Recap

I am so tired, you don't even want to know.

A Toast to Lazarus went very well! I've already put the pictures on the gallery.

Special thanks to everyone who actually showed up in spite of the rain! They include my mom, her fiance', my grandma, Kim, Bruce, Betty, Lowella, Erica, Nefertiti, Perquita and her husband (Nick, right?), Tolani, Sheila, Nikki, Shari, Duane, Zachary, Storme, Ezra, Tina, Cylia and her line sister, Al, Lamont, Crystal, Kathy, Carmelita, Erin, Joe, Randy, Bryan, and a few others who rolled through! If I forgot your name, I'm sorry. :-(

It was great having folks there to just kick back and celebrate!

Go me!

Special thanks to Takoma Station Tavern for letting me host the event there!

Posted on May 2, 2005 at 6:53 PM | Comments (0)

The baby comes home....

Special Guest Star: Big Mike, Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, Omicron Gamma Chapter, Spring '94

Posted on April 29, 2005 at 10:28 AM | Comments (3)

Are you gonna get rich and quit teaching?

Rashid: oh, before you go

Him, via Sidekick II: Huh

Rashid: i had two of my books in a grocery bag today, and one of my students asked why was i always carrying books around

Rashid: and one of the other kids also said i was always carrying books around

Rashid: and the first kid says "Are those your books Mr. Darden?"

Rashid: and I said yeah

Rashid: and he said "You wrote them?"

Rashid: and I said yeah

Him, via Sidekick II: Yea

Rashid: so of course they got psyced

Rashid: then kid #1 says:

Him, via Sidekick II: Ok

Rashid: "Mr. Darden, so you're gonna get rich off of these books and quit being a teacher?"

Him, via Sidekick II: Awwww

Rashid: HI-fuckin-LARIOUS

Him, via Sidekick II: Its sweet too

Rashid: and i said YUP CUZ I WRITE BOOKS, BITCH!!!

Rashid: okay, not really, but i thought it real hard :-)

Him, via Sidekick II: Lol

What also happened was that my kids asked what the novel was about. And I said that it's about a guy who goes to college and experiences....stuff.

So they say "It's about SEX???!!!!"

And I say NO!!!! But it's for grown folks!

Then another kid says "So this book about Mr. Darden is about sex."

And I say NO, it's not about MR. DARDEN!!! It's fiction, you know, NOT TRUE.

And then the kid said "Oh okay. So this book is about a guy who went to Georgetown and is wearing blue and gray new balance, blue jeans, and a football jersey, and a purple bag, and has dreadlocks, and is standing right in front of me. HMMM, WHO AM I????"

Little whippersnappers!!!!

Posted on April 27, 2005 at 9:23 AM | Comments (2)

A Toast to LAZARUS -- THIS Saturday!

Friends,

All of my life, I’ve wanted to be an author.

Now…I am.

Please help me to celebrate the release of LAZARUS, my first novel. We will be convening upon Takoma Station Tavern on this Saturday at 7:00pm. Takoma Station is located at 6814 Fourth Street in Northwest Washington, DC, just one half block from the Takoma Metro.

There will be no cover charge until approximately 8:30pm, so if you’ve never been to Takoma Station, Saturday would be a great time to come try out their drinks and appetizers! Stay through the evening, meet some new friends, come chat with me, pick up a copy of the novel, and then be introduced to a reggae band later in the evening. If you’re not familiar with Takoma Station’s legacy of live music, by all means try them out for the first time this Saturday!

This is the moment of my life that I’ve worked so hard for…all the blood, sweat, and tears shed at Georgetown and American…all the weekends I gave up the past three years just so I could write novels…all of my hard work and what do I have to show for it?

A BOOK!!!!! And I wouldn’t have it any other way. So come celebrate with me!!!!

See you Saturday!!!

Extra special invitation goes to all Coolidge and Georgetown alumni; the Takoma, Riggs Park, and Manor Park communities; Brothers of Alpha Phi Omega; Alphas, AKAs, Deltas, Zetas, SGRhos, and Gamma Sigs; and even the Kappas, Ques, Sigmas, and Iotas.

RSVP: rashid@oldgoldsoul.com

Posted on April 25, 2005 at 10:30 PM | Comments (1)

Black House Book Club: LAZARUS

Well, I finally have some time to recount the experiences of Thursday, April 21, 2005.

Erin Meadors was the Black House resident in charge of the event. She's also grown to become a good friend of mine. I believe I initially met her when our mutual friend Shaina Jones lived in the house in 02-03.

My Alpha Phi Omega Brothers Rashad and Fitz were there to help me transport the books from the Leavey Center to the White-Gravenor Building. In fact, these Brothers were the epitome of deference -- I didn't have to carry a single thing for the rest of the evening. It was good having some brother to brother time to catch up before the program started.

One of my favorite professors, Adam Rothman (who is the author of Slave Country: American Expansion and the Origins of the Deep South, buy this book now!) stopped by to give his support, but he had to leave quickly.

It wasn't a large crowd, but it was lively! Everyone participated in the discussion, too. About ten people showed up all together, including a nice Freshman named Indra, Bill McCoy (LGBTQ Liaison for the university), a lot of APO Brothers, and of course my mentor Dennis Williams.

A lot of the conversation focused on my opinions about being black and gay at Georgetown -- I didn't really expect that, but I went with it because it's one of the few topics I'm an expert on. It was interesting (and sad) to see that there are so few gay black men on campus who feel equally part of the black and gay communities. According to the people who attended, there are no visible gay black men on campus who are active in the Black Student Alliance and other organizations.

The Georgetown University Step Team sent their regrets to be read at the event. It was a TOTAL surprise. The letter they wrote was so great....absolutely beautiful....I was very touched. Yes, I shed some tears. I couldn't believe how highly they thought of me!

Finally, they presented me with a token gift -- a Georgetown paperweight! I had no idea I would get anything like that. It's so nice. Sitting on my desk right now.

We retired to the Black House for snacks, and realized that my brothers, the Alphas, had just concluded a probate show. It went on at the same time as the Book Club event -- which they were invited to co-sponsor.

Kinda sucks that your brothers would sorta piss on your event to have their own. But at this point, am I really surprised?

All in all, I enjoyed myself that evening! I am so glad that my very first event was at my own alma mater, surrounded by people who care about me. I'm still on that high!

And here are the pictures!

Posted on April 23, 2005 at 11:43 AM | Comments (1)

Mr. Darden, it's a boy...

Just in time for my event at Georgetown tomorrow night, LAZARUS has arrived hot off the press.

I was getting concerned. I didn't want to have a "Meet the Author" event without having my novel there with me. It was bad enough that I was too sick to attend the event at American back in February -- I HAD to have Lazarus there with me tomorrow.

I talked to Central Plains on Tuesday, and they assured me that they could overnight the books to me, since they were going to be bound that very same day. But still, anything could happen, so I would believe it when I saw it.

Incidentally, my relationship with him seemed to have reached a turning point of some sort. I felt a lot more comfortable lately confiding in him, talking to him like we used to. He was sharing in my frustration, my fears, and my sadness. Somehow, he was anchoring me -- even though for the past few days I felt like everything was spiraling out of control. He wasn't just listening to me, though. He was listening and hearing. He really cares. If I were him, I don't know if I would put up with me!

We talked a lot yesterday, on IM and on the phone, well into the evening. He told me that I would cry when I feld the book for the first time. I was like yeah right, not me. On IM this morning, he seemed to just know that the books would come today, even though I hadn't received a final invoice from Central Plains yet. I hadn't even gotten a phone call from my customer service representative letting me know the books had been sent. So I was assuming that I would get the books tomorrow.

As it turned out, I didn't get a call to substitute teach today, so I was at home catching up on emails, maybe watching a little TV, and chatting on IM. I'd been wound up so tightly that I didn't need to do too much with Lazarus, lest it overwhelm me.

I think it must have been 12:30 or so when I decided to go upstairs and call Central Plains -- again. I had gotten tired of having to chase after them for information on the production of my novel, but I'd get answers no other way. I brought my rep's number upstairs with me and turned the TV on to The Young & The Restless.

I noticed that the mail carrier had already come. Nothing major was on the floor, just a catalogue and a few bills. I wasn't sure whether Central Plains was using the postal service, UPS, FedEx, or what. Another good reason to call and find out.

But I was hungry, so I grabbed some Chex Mix and began eating them straight out of the bag. I looked at the phone and picked it up, with every intention of dialing. But something told me to turn around....

Outside of my house, nearly perfectly framed by the living room window, was a FedEx truck.

This ain't real, I thought. Since everything in my life can be summarized by either The Color Purple or School Daze, as I recounted to my mentor later, seeing that FedEx truck felt like how Celie must have felt when Nettie finally came back. She knew what was in that car, but she didn't quite believe it. After all that time, Nettie was home. And for me, Lazarus was home. Adrian, Savion, Nina, Beta Chi Phi...they were home.

But the FedEx driver was making a liar out of me as I saw him come out of the truck and walk up the path to my front door. He was about ten steps away when I opened the front door.

"Rashid Darden?" he asked.

"Yeah, that's me?" I said.

"Okay great, got a package for you. Just wanted to make sure you were home first before I carried these heavy boxes to the door."

He carried the boxes to the stoop and I slid each one into the house. I signed for them and the driver was off. What a nice man he was....

I saw that the boxes were indeed from Central Plains, and they were too heavy to be anything but books. I found some scissors and carefully -- very carefully -- opened the box.

Staring back at me from inside the box were four perfect books representing the top of a stack of 32 perfect books.

I didn't cry....but I sho' did get right misty, Miss Celie.

I can't really describe how happy I was at that moment. I am kind of glad I was by myself because I was acting a damn fool, running around the house with the book in my hand, wondering who I was going to tell first.

Well...there was no question...

I got back on IM and asked him to call me at home. Once again, he was there for me, this time to share in my joy. He was so happy for me, so proud. I was glad to share in this moment with him. There will never be another moment like this one -- my first book, my baby. Everything was all there...not fingers and toes, but the cover, spine, pages...it was perfect to me. And again, I'm so glad I had someone like him to share that moment with.

Next, I got in contact with my mentor....man. To speak with someone who knows exactly how I feel. He is going to see me tomorrow night, too. I also hear that Dr. Mitchell is going to be there, and I haven't seen her in quite a while, at least since the 2004 graduation, and that was only for a moment. And dang, she has a book or two out as well!

Wow, I'm in some kind of elite club now...this is crazy.

I'm a lot less nervous about tomorrow night. I got a call from Rashad, my APO brother who is helping to promote the event. I don't know how he is able to do so much and know so many people. He's like my little brother who I know is going to be way richer and more successful than me one day, and I'm okay with that. :-)

I picked out my selection that I'm going to read tomorrow night. I will probably pick a few more, but it's kind of tough because I don't want to give away too much of the novel for those who haven't read it.

For the aspiring self-published authors, here is a word of advice: give yourself plenty of wiggle room in your publishing budget. The final invoice is threatening to kick my ass. Of course, having books overnighted didn't help, but it was necessary. No...the big, hidden cost was two-fold: residential delivery and overruns.

Why didn't anyone ever tell me about overruns! lol I actually knew about overruns through my contract and maybe a little bit in the Self-Publishing Manual by Dan Poynter, but it never clicked in my head that hey, if I get overruns, I have to pay for them. I always assumed that I would underrun and save money. C'est la vie, we're going to work it out.

I only have 64 books in my possession so far. This batch will be dedicated to the event at Georgetown tomorrow night. I would love to start sending out novels to those that pre-ordered, but right now I can only accommodate the pre-orders from Georgetown. After I distribute those, and perhaps sell more at the event, I will begin sending out the rest on Friday. Hey, pray that I sell out those 64 though! The rest of the books will be sent as soon as the final invoice is settled, which will be tomorrow or Friday. By freight, the books will take about four days to make it to DC -- just in time for "A Toast to Lazarus" at Takoma Station.

Things are really working out! I have a book, my Georgetown orders will have their books, and everyone else who pre-ordered should have theirs next week.

Now let's all collectively....exhale.

Posted on April 20, 2005 at 8:45 PM | Comments (5)

Just in case you miss it everywhere else

Thursday, April 21, 7:30pm
Black House Book Club: Lazarus
Georgetown University (37th & O Streets, NW)
White-Gravenor Hall, Room 311

Join us to discuss the new novel Lazarus alongside
Rashid Darden, a native Washingtonian, former
Black House resident (1999-2000), and alumnus of
the College of Arts & Sciences (2001). A light
reception with the author will follow the event at
the Black House, located at 1410 36th Street.

Contact Erin Meadors at emm24@georgetown.edu for
more event information. See www.oldgoldsoul.com
for more details on Darden and his work. For more
information on the Black House, see
http://blackhouse.georgetown.edu on the web.

Event Cosponsors:
The Black House
Alpha Phi Omega National Service Fraternity, Mu
Alpha Chapter
GU Pride (In conjunction with PRIDE Week 2005)

***

Saturday, April 23, 8:00pm
School Dayz: The Georgetown University Step Team
Charity Step Show
Georgetown University (37th & O Streets, NW)
Gaston Hall
$10.00

Featuring: Alpha Phi Alpha, Alpha Kappa Alpha,
Kappa Alpha Psi, Omega Psi Phi, Zeta Phi Beta,
Iota Phi Beta, and the Georgetown University Step Team
Special Appearance by Rashid Darden, Author of Lazarus

***

Saturday, April 30, 7:00pm
A Toast to LAZARUS: The Debut Novel of Rashid Darden
Takoma Station Tavern
6914 Fourth Street, NW

Join Old Gold Soul as we celebrate the publication
of LAZARUS at the historic Takoma Station Tavern.
Meet Rashid Darden and pick up your very own copy
of his debut novel. Grab a drink from the bar,
order up some appetizers, and then stay for Takoma
Station's legendary live music!

Posted on April 18, 2005 at 12:17 PM | Comments (0)

LAZARUS Update for April 16

Hello people!

Here is the latest update on when YOU will receive your copy of LAZARUS.

LAZARUS will be ready THIS week (April 18-22) and will be sent out the following week. I am allowing for time for the books to get to my house from Kansas, where the printer is.

The rest of this entry is just narrative for those of you who are invested in this process.

I spoke to Central Plains Book Manufacturing this week. (In case I never said so before, they are the people who are printing LAZARUS. They are located in Kansas.) To be perfectly honest, I am not one hundred percent pleased with the communication between us. However, I realize that some of my concerns are due to the fact that I am a first-time publisher/novelist, and I am getting used to the fact that some things aren’t in my control.

At any rate, a month ago I told them that I absolutely HAD to have LAZARUS in my hands by the end of the month. Well, the good news is that they said LAZARUS would be ready this week, perhaps as soon as Monday. The bad news is that it will take about four days for LAZARUS to reach me via freight. That means it is highly unlikely that the novel will be ready in time for my Black House event this Thursday.

I am very disappointed by that news because I really wanted the Georgetown Community to be among the first to be able to support this novel. I lived in the Black House myself, and we hosted self-published authors there while I lived there, too! But, I guess everything happens for a reason. We will just have a great discussion about the writing process, those who have read the ebook can share their thoughts, and we’ll make plenty of connections. I’ll also heavily promote my launch party at the event.

In the event that the books come after the Black House event, but before Saturday, I will set up a table and sell books at the Step Show on Saturday night. At least it will still be at Georgetown so that would be pretty meaningful.

In any event, the books WILL be here by April 30, so any of you planning on attending the launch party at Takoma Station won’t be disappointed.

Thank you ALL for your support, whether you bought the novel in December or if you bought it this week! I really appreciate all that you have done to talk up this novel among your friends, to share my website, to just pass along the word. Every mention of LAZARUS or Old Gold Soul is priceless to me.

Keep on visiting the site!

Posted on April 16, 2005 at 9:22 AM | Comments (0)

Galleys, Bluelines, whatever they're called....

Well....here's the latest with the book.

On Wednesday, my book manufacturer sent me the "blueline proofs" of my novel. They're actually NOT blue. Yes, I am that ignorant, lol. I don't know why they're called bluelines. At any rate, it came in this unassuming FedEx envelope, and when I opened it, I saw a 356-page replica of how the novel is supposed to look on the inside. It looked great! Honestly, since I was responsible for the typesetting, there were no surprises. But I was surprised at how professional it looked. I mean.... I MADE IT! That's crazy. Something I did looks professional. Crazy.

The cover -- phenomenal. I've got to really give it up for my boy Neil Wade. He really came through for me. I think we were both worried about how it was going to come out, though. What you see on the screen always looks a little different than how it might look when it comes off the printer. But Mr. Wade showed off with that cover, front and back. I am so happy to know Neil, to be Neil's friend, and to now always have this bond with him because of this cover. My first novel, his first cover. Wow.

Even the bar code was on the cover, and it was perfect.

I'm an author, y'all. That shit is crazy.

I sent the proofs and corrections back via express mail. Yeah, I did have about 13 very small corrections that were completely my fault. You THINK you've done a good job with proofreading, and then you notice even more corrections that need to be made. But hey, at least I found them!

I'm excited. The only down side is that there's no way that the novel will be ready by March 31. I should know by Monday or Tuesday what the precise date will be that I get the novels from the book manufacturer. Once that happens, I will update the website and send out emails notifying everyone.

Special thanks to everyone who pre-ordered! Without your support, I wouldn't even have a novel to begin with.

That's all for now!

Posted on March 26, 2005 at 6:22 PM | Comments (1)

A much needed novel update

Well.....I can tell you now, the book is undoubtedly a few weeks behind schedule.

Before I offer the explanation, I want to extend my apologies FIRST. I apologize that we will likely not be able to make the March 31 deadline. I will widely distribute the new print date as soon as I speak with my printer today.

March 31 was the day I estimated that the novel would be ready from the printer based on a lot of factors, including finances, internal design, and cover design. Surprisingly enough, the finances were there! Although the pre-order sale was not nearly as successful as I wanted it to be, I got enough pre-orders to fund part of the production costs of the novel. One hundred percent of the pre-orders went to paying the printer. No profit so far. But it's all good, because that's the point of self-publishing (for me) -- I'm not trying to get rich, I am trying to start a career.

The internal design took a weeeee bit longer than I had hoped, mostly because I was typesetting it myself and at the last minute, realized that I didn't have all of the necessary software. I obtained it though, and that maybe only put me a few days behind schedule.

The big problem was cover design. Neil, my cover designer, whom I love and is a great friend, is a first-time cover designer. And that's fine, because I am a first time novelist. We had some major problems with the cover, y'all. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't have cut it so close to the deadline -- there were times that I wasn't putting pressure on Neil like I should have -- time where it would have helped if he knew what kind of pressure I was under, but because I was so busy, I just let things be. Another thing that hurt us was Neil's travel schedule -- I'd asked me before to let me know when he would be out of town, or else I would assume he was available. So, sometimes when I needed him, he'd be away for days and days and I'd just be stuck. And the man is in Japan, so we're already on a huge time difference.

BUT, everything is done now. The cover is done (unless the printer tells me otherwise), the ISBN number is ready, the bar code is ready, all the internal info is ready, it just needs to be physically printed, and that takes time. I do have a few concerns with the current levels of communication with my printer, but I am confident in them. They've really been working with me.

Again, once I have a firm date from the printer today, I will widely distribute the final date.

Just wanted to give you all an update! LAZARUS will still happen!

Posted on March 17, 2005 at 7:07 AM | Comments (0)

Final Edits

As I make final edits to Lazarus and toss each marked page into a basket, Laila rips each page to shreds for me. Ladies and Gentlemen: Lazarus versus Laila Ali C. Darden.

Posted on March 1, 2005 at 10:50 PM | Comments (2)

Last Day!

Hey folks, today is the LAST DAY to pre-order LAZARUS! Get yours now!

http://thebook.oldgoldsoul.com/order.html

Posted on February 22, 2005 at 9:33 AM | Comments (0)

My Most Sincere Apologies

I sincerely apologize to anyone who attended last night's event at American University hoping to meet me and hear about LAZARUS. I wanted to be there more than anything in the world, but as the time drew closer, I realized that I just wasn't well enough to be there. I am sure you wouldn't want to hear me try to talk but get interrupted by a hacking cough with every word.

I apologize for any inconvenience that my abscence may have caused you. Thank you so much for your support. I really do appreciate it, especially now.

And please continue to pray for my health and recovery. I have mild bronchitis caused by an infection. I am indeed under a doctor's care -- I just really wish I was better already. I've been sick for so long.

Posted on February 4, 2005 at 7:38 AM | Comments (3)

The Cover

Posted on January 18, 2005 at 6:15 AM | Comments (4)

I Need Your Pre-Orders!

Haven't updated on the book in a while....

Well, the pre-sale began on January 1. I think I have respectable pre-orders considering the cover isn't ready yet. But I'm really waiting on friends, family, alumni, and co-workers to come through for me. Okay, so that's everybody, LOL.

I haven't rolled out the incentives yet, because at this point, I can't afford any, LOL. But everyone who pre-orders WILL receive something. I know for sure that I will be releasing ALIVE, my first chapbook of poetry, exclusively to those people who ordered LAZARUS. Just haven't put it in my advertising yet. That's one thing I'll be using this long weekend for.

Once the cover gets ready (SHOULD be ready on the 17th) I will be able to move forward on LAZARUS T-SHIRTS!!!!! I definitely want to use those as incentives, but again, can't do that if the cover isn't ready.

I have a feeling that once the cover is done, people will see that this whole project is really real, for real for real, and will be more inclined to pre-order. This sale MUST be a success for me to break even -- that's why I'm trying to appeal to people's sense of wanting to help out a starving artist.

My co-workers are buzzing about it and seem excited for me.

I'm going back to my old high school either this afternoon or tomorrow during the day to drop off fliers promoting the novel. I didn't take most of those teachers, but man may want to support an alumnus anyway.

I have so many emails to return -- bookstores and book reviewers have been contacting ME! That's crazy, yo. Never in a million years would I think that people who I don't know would contact me wanting to sell or write a review of my novel. I'm feeling good!

I also can't wait for my first review to drop....it is a WONDERFUL review! But don't worry, you all will see it soon.

To Do: I really, really need somebody to take my picture for promotional reasons. I need to email Phil, I guess.

Also this weekend -- need to make finishing touches in PageMaker. I want to have EVERYTHING done that I can possibly do right now when it comes to production.

Okay, I just took an Allegra....nose is all runny and ish right now.

I need to make a few touches on the site this morning, so this will be all for now.

PEACE!

Posted on January 13, 2005 at 6:08 AM | Comments (0)

Pre-Orders have Begun!!!!!

Guess what? My debut novel Lazarus is available for pre-order, a month ahead of schedule!

Please click here to pre-order: http://thebook.oldgoldsoul.com/order.html

Publishing a novel on my own has been a challenging, yet rewarding experience. I have learned how to be my own publisher, agent, and publicist all in one. However, such an undertaking has not been accomplished alone. I’ve had great editors, web designers, and a cover designer who will blow you away. In two weeks, the cover of Lazarus will be unveiled!

Pre-ordering Lazarus is extremely important. Sure, order it because it will be the best novel you read in 2005. And yes, order it because you like to read, especially African American literature. But also, please know that by supporting this novel, you are investing in a young artist’s career.

Please consider pre-ordering a copy of Lazarus for yourself, friends, or family. Discounts are available for group orders as well. Wouldn’t it be great if Lazarus sold out before the official publication date of March 31?

Thanks in advance!

Posted on January 2, 2005 at 8:21 AM | Comments (0)

A Very Productive Day Indeed

Now....I probably shouldn't be saying this, but um.....here are some things I did today.

Filed my Trade Name Registration papers with the DC government, registering "Old Gold Soul" as my official business name. Since I am a sole proprietorship type of business (not a partnership, limited liability corporation(?), or regular corporation) that means YOU can write a check to "Old Gold Soul" and I, Rashid Darden, can legally cash it.

That's kinda hot.

In DC, the kind of business I will be (sole proprietor seller of books via the innanet, book fairs, festivals, and directly to bookstores) means that I won't have to get the business license that say, a hot dog stand or barbershop would have to get.

It's kind of neat....and interesting just how much the government (even municipal) regulates.

One good thing is that Old Gold Soul has already been introduced to the public via this website, so it's like already a "recognizable" trade name. Not that that means anything particularly, I just thought it was cool.

I made my FINAL edits to my manuscript today, less than 90 minutes ago. It WAS finished, but then, a few months ago, I decided to have an editor review it AGAIN. Since I am self-publishing, and self-published authors have a stigma of producing sub-standard work, I wanted to make sure that the inside of my book was PERFECT. I really appreciated my editor's hard work. I took most of her suggestions, but kept certain things that I felt made the book uniquely a novel about black Greek life.

Favorite quote from my editor: "What's a Skee-Wee?"

Now, here is something I think is pretty important to share with other people interested in self-publishing. I have decided on my book manufacturer. I REALLY like these people. They are respected among self-published authors, and I'd found good reviews on them on the web. Also, they are one of the book manufacturers listed in The Self-Publishing Manual. I don't want to give their name just yet since no contracts have been signed.

But that's not the issue I wanted to share....the issue is that I asked for a prie quote for my novel based on 330 pages.

Um, how about I have 366 and counting?

Yeah.

So basically, after I add the back matter (basically just an order form for more books) I may have 368 or 370 pages.

That will affect the price of printing, unfortunately. It will probably go up. By how much? I don't know. But I'm not going to ask for a new quote until I am really, for really really ready to go to print. Like, we're talking the whole thing has been typeset, the cover is ready, and everything. Because I don't want to go back and get ANOTHER price quote -- it's not like I'm shopping around at this point.

Speaking of covers, now I feel I can talk about my situation with my cover designer. First of all, let me say this: I love that man. He has been my friend since 2000, and we have a friend in common. He's a talented architecture grad from Washington University in St. Louis. I am pleased to be able to introduce his work to all of you.

However, I wasn't feeling the proof that he sent me before the holidays. In fact, I was kind of upset with it. Not because it was BAD -- the boy does great work. But I think he and I need to improve our communication with each other. He had taken some elements AWAY from the work that he hadn't told me until he emailed it to me. So I am like "What?" when I'm checking the proof and thinking to myself "Where is this...and this...and this?" Well, I showed the proof around, and it seems as though I was the only person who hated it, LOL.

I know, hate is a strong word. I didn't hate it. It just wasn't what I was looking for. But once my artist returns from Cambodia (!) he and I will regroup, refocus, and have a cover for all of YOU to be proud of!

Yay us.

I plan on kicking off the pre-sale sooner than I originally thought, which is good. I also think I'll be able to bump up he publication date. HOWEVER, you all should know that the more successful the pre-sale is, the sooner we can move forward with publishing the book.

You see, self-publishing, as I like to say, is more like "Do it yo DAMN self" publishing. Every little thing that you see about a book will ultimately come down to little old me for LAZARUS.

BUT, the phone rang, so I will continue this another time!

PEACE

Posted on December 27, 2004 at 10:03 PM | Comments (0)

My Editor is a BEAST!

Yo.

I want to put my editor in my pocket and keep her FOREVER.

Editing is a CRUCIAL part of the writing process. I am so glad I decided to get a professional editor before Lazarus went to print. Basically, I know that the novel is good, but I wanted someone to read it who wasn't black, gay, or in a fraternity. You know, to look at it from a purely literary perspective.

At first, I was scared.

Wait a minute.

I wanted someone to read it who wasn't black, gay, or in a fraternity.

HAHAHAHHAHHA! That's funny to me for some reason. Like those are the only people I know!

Whew!

Anyway, at first I was scared because what if she HATED IT so bad that she couldn't finish reading it! But I knew that wouldn't be the case, because she's a smart cookie and has good taste, ;-)

But I was concerned that maybe she'd think it wasn't literary enough. But you know what? My editor read that thang and made EVERY correction that needed to be made, and made EXCELLENT suggestions to make it even more literary. I skimmed the comments and they are so on point.

Also, the whole time in which she was editing, I think I separated myself from Lazarus to the point where I can revisit it and make the appropriate changes to it. I don't think the changes will be glaring, like all of a sudden Adrian pledges Alpha instead, lol. But they will definitely improve the readability of the novel.

*sigh*

I am happy. Everything is coming together. I survived the editing process. Now all I need is TIME to make the changes. I work every day this week, so it is looking like Saturday will be the big day I make all the edits. Other than MAYBE going to this big holiday expo thingy at the Reeves Center I don't have any plans.

On tomorrow, I should be recieving the proof for my cover. I'm nervous, but hopeful. I have faith in my cover designer.

Okay, shower time!

Posted on December 14, 2004 at 6:51 AM | Comments (2)

Adventures in Cover Design

My cover is almost finished. However, since my cover designer is a first time, you might be interested in knowing some of the questions we had about the whole process.

When I get the ISBN number, and subsequently the bar code, what format will it be in? How can we integrate it into the cover? Another author I know has problems with the readability of her bar code....how can we ensure the integrity of the graphic?

Everything else I'm straight on. I am just not a designer, so I don't know how these things work.

Posted on December 10, 2004 at 6:37 AM | Comments (0)

Come January....

January is going to be an extremely important time for Lazarus.

As you all know, FEBRUARY 1 is the day that pre-orders start. Quantities will be in limited supply, so I have to have a pre-sale to make sure everyone who REALLY wants a copy will get one!

That's one thing that lightweight sucks about self-publishing. I can't just get 10,000 copies printed and distribute them throughout the world.

But the good thing is that because I am doing everything myself (with some wonderful friends!) I know that all of my successes will be because of my efforts. Since it is only me taking the risks I know that success depends on ME.

There's just meeeeee...one is the maaaagic nummmberrrrr.....

The Pre-Sale will be EXTREMELY important, y'all. Like, as soon as February 1 hits, I'ma need y'all to buy the book! Wouldn't it be tight if the book sold out in the first week?

So yeah....I'm trying hard! But it can't be a success without you all! Yay for you all! I really get a lot of encouragement from all of your emails and messages to my yahoogroup.

OH YEAH....y'all reall should get on the yahoogroup if you're not on it yet. Just click on my "Contacts" section.

Anyway...yes....tell folks about the website...sign the guestbook....send in your emails....join the yahoogroup....February 1 hits, buy the book!

Posted on December 9, 2004 at 6:39 AM | Comments (0)

Adventures in Promotion!

If you are reading this, it's because somehow you found out about this site.

You're welcome.

LOL just kidding....man, I do so much to promote this site....why am I a member of like fittyleben yahoogroups? The sad thing is I would be on that many even if I wasn't promoting my book somehow. I just loves the innanet.

Shame.

Anyway, yahoogroups was gettin' on my nerves tonight! I changed a crap load of my settings so about half of my emails would go to my oldgoldsoul account -- the public needs to get used to that account -- but the other more personal emails would still go to my gmail joint.

Well, yahoogroups wanted to be TRIPPIN tonight, but they finally got working.

But now sooooo much time has gone by and I am sooooo tired. I'll just have to do this on Saturday. Won't have time Friday. Actually, will I have time on Saturday? I have a thesis to edit.

Yes, I still edit papers....a nigga DOES celebrate Xmas and I DO need to get gifts, LOL.

Other stuff happened today in the WORK realm that I can't talk about here...argh.

I talked to him briefly tonight, but not for long....I was doing LAZARUS stuff and my mind was generally elsewhere...shame shame shame.

On the brighter side, undergrads at two local universities are really helping me out. Folks believe in THE STRUGGLE and are sincerely interested in helping me succeed as a writer in any way they can.

AND TRUST ME EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS!

Overall, I am excited...busy...but enthusiastic.

Oh yeah, stupid gmail and yahoogroups...I basically can't format my latest update email like I really want to, so I'ma have to make some changes to it over the weekend.

OOOOOOH I had an idea....'stead of emailing out chapter one, I will post it on the site and then email a link out.

I AM A MARKETING GENIUS!!!!! Ha ha ha, okay, not really....marketing and promotion are really all about knowing YOURSELF well enough where you can determine not only what kind of promotion you need, but what kind you are good at.

Me, I like this whole innanet thing.....we'll see how it all turns out.

Okay, too tired to think now....GOOD NIGHT!!!!

(My apologies for any incoherence!)

Posted on December 2, 2004 at 11:39 PM | Comments (0)

Book Manufacturing and Pre-Orders

It's Friday! Wooooo hooooo! I just wanted to say hello to everyone and say thank you SO MUCH for all your support. I really do think about my website, my yahoogroup, and all my supportive friends every day.

I am working very closely with a "Book Manufacturer" -- what you all might know as a printer. The publishing industry calls it "Book Manufacturing" because not every "printer" makes books. Anyway, I am using a very nice, very accomodating Book Manifacturer in Kansas. After I decided to decline the offer from the small publisher, deciding effectively to self-publish (again), I knew I would go back to this particular company.

I emailed my contact to try to knock down the price of printing, and they did (a little bit). I don't know if you all know, but I am poor. LOL. Self-publishing is ex-pen-sive. It really means a lot to me that this company is helping me find ways to lower the cost of printing without sacrificing the quality of the book.

You should also know that no matter how low they make the price, well, unless it is free (ha ha) that I will STILL be relying heavily on pre-orders to finance the book. I am not trying to make a profit, folks. My objective is simply to be published, to have my work available to YOU all, to have the story of Adrian Collins told. Therefore, when I start taking pre-orders, I am really going to need all of you to come through for me! February 1 is the date I will start accepting orders on the website, so mark your calendars!

Also, if you know any philanthropists who consider themeselves patrons of the arts, show them my website and tell them how poor I am. :-D Donations are ALWAYS welcome!

So, to sum it up: Working on an agreement with the book manufacturer, pre-orders will be taken on February 1, and TELL PEOPLE!!!!

The Book is LAZARUS.

The Author is RASHID DARDEN.

The website is OLDGOLDSOUL!!!!!

God bless!!!

Posted on November 19, 2004 at 7:58 AM | Comments (0)

The Scoop

The announcement you have been waiting for:

I'M GOING TO SELF-PUBLISH!!!!!!

For years, I was told by potential agents that even though my writing was great, they couldn't take me on because the market was already saturated with black writers. Or, I was told by the agents themselves that they didn't have the contacts in the right places to make a book like mine successful.

No potential agent ever told me that my writing wasn't strong. Not even a hint.

This summer, I took time to research the ins and outs of self-publishing. I got pretty far, too. I picked up the Ross and Poynter books about self-publishing, did a lot of research on the internet, saw how vast black book clubs were, learned about distribution, etc. It was a lot.

Then I got an offer from a new, small publisher. For a few months, all thoughts on self-publishing were put on hold, and then faded. My family was so happy for me....my friends were also happy, although they sensed my trepidation.

As I waited for the contract, I started weighing all the options. Self-publishing would be expensive, and I just didn't have the money to do it, nor did I even know anyone who could or would invest the money in me. I thought that signing a contract for a small advance would be better than the possible debt I would incur by self-publishing.

But when I reviewed that contract, I regained that confidence back. I could do this by myself if I had to. I asked follow-up questions of the publisher, read and re-read the contract, and consulted with other writers, including my mentor.

In the end, I followed my head, my heart, and my gut.

And now, here I am, a soon-to-be self-published novelist. I am neither embarrassed not ashamed. This is how many authors have gotten their start. I am no stranger to hard work when it comes to the things I love, and writing is one of those things.

I have so many people who are on my side...so many people who want to see this happen.

As always, I will be keeping everyone updated through this diary, the website, and the BRAND NEW YAHOOGROUP!

The Rashid/Old Gold Soul Update List

Join now for the latest updates!

PEACE!

Posted on November 8, 2004 at 12:01 PM | Comments (3)

Fall Back

It is early as hell, yo.

I have like 50 minutes to do random things before I head out to work. I WOULD just go to work early and clean up the classroom, but I really don't feel like walking all the way to the back door. (Nobody is in the front office to buzz me in before a certain time.)

I guess I'll work backwards....I am thisclose to making an announcement about the book. Some more conversations need to be had, but I am pretty sure that in my heart, I know what decision to make. I can't wait to be able to tell you all what the next move is going to be.

Along those same lines, I recently purchased Guerilla Marketing for Writers. Very very good stuff. Yesterday, I read a lot of this book and did a lot of thinking about the novel(s). This book reinvigorated a lot inside of me that I had over the summer. (That might be a major hint to those of you who know me well, but I still won't say right now what the decision is. Hell, it might change.)

The trick-or-treaters last night...we got so many more trick-or-treaters than we have before. Some of them were BOOTLEG. How you gonna roll up to my house with jeans, a sweater, and vampire teeth? And your parent is there just smiling like it's okay? How much are costumes from CVS? Come on.

Then my neighbors had the nerve to come begging for candy with NO costume! What the hell!? I started not to give them anything, little lazy runts. How dare you.

Yes, I take this holiday seriously.

Saturday, I visted one of my kids in the hospital. Sad. I need to go back and give him a picture of myself, since he asked for one.

Friday was the big "Fall Festival." Long story short, why did my kids act like a bunch of drunkards at an Irish Pub? We sat our first graders at clusters and left a lot of open space in the middle for our table with the food. We had so much candy it was sickening. SO MUCH! Anyway, so these kids kept toasting each other with little huggies. Pure sugar, water, and food coloring. Possibly some cocaine. But they were too young to understand that you say "cheers" when you toast, so they said:

"TOAST!"

Then, after they got tired of saying "Toast!" they said:

"Happy Halloween!"

then:

"Happy Fall Festival!"

then:

"Happy birthday!"

then finally:

"We love you Ms. ______ and Mr. Darden!"

It was cool....they deserved a nice little party. Most of them are hard workers. However, the insanity began when they started spontaneously singing and chanting.

That's why I say they became drunkards at an Irish pub. If they knew "Piano Man" by Billy Joel, I'm sure they would have sung it.

Okay, so first they started singing some random kids songs, like maybe the Pinball number song from Sesame Street, which I taught them earlier in the year. And maybe the bumblebee song. Me and my colleague were like "What the hell?" Who spontaneously sings at a party?

THEN...they went from drunken Irish pub to jook joint/church house/gin house. These bamas started singing the chants I taught them earlier in the day. Imagine thirty first graders chanting:

"Ice ice, baby! Too cold, too cold! Ice ice, baby! The black and gold!"

Oh my lordy. What have I done? The only reason we taught them the chant was to kill about ten minutes of time between an assembly and recess. Okay, more like twenty minutes, because we had time to teach them a variation of "All of my love..."

So of course, the next logical step for the little runts, high on sugar, was to spontaneous start singing:

"Alllllll of my looooove....my peace and happiness....I'm gonna give tooo _________ [name of school]"

After the first verse, why did these little bamas start rising to their feet like they were in church? What the hell!!!

THEN, they were swift enough to remember the other part of the chant that we made up, to be chanted at the same time as all of my love is sung:

"First grade! We are the leaopards! We're in the first grade! We are the mighty mighty leaopards!"

Why did first grade damn near have a probate show? See, this is why greeks don't need to teach, lol.

So anyway, they settled down and enjoyed the five course junk food meal we fed them. It was good though.

Whew.

I have a lot of cleaning to do this week before the regular teacher comes back on Thursday. But the good thing is while she is teaching, I can be grading papers and whatnot.

Okay....I have more time to kill, I think I am going to read some more.

PEACE!

Posted on November 1, 2004 at 7:07 AM | Comments (1)

Eric Benet...I'm coming for you!

Let's see.....

Last night, I spoke to a really cool dude on the phone for like two hours. He's really interesting....

Work was good. I found out one of my kids is transferring...awww, sad. I will probably get to see him this weekend.

So today, one of my boys asked me "Who do you want to meet most when you become famous?" So I was like wow, I never really thought about that, although everyone around me seems to think I will be famous one day. I always kinda set my sites realistically. AJ from 106 and Park, basically.

Ha.

So I said "Eric Benet" first just so I can get a picture with him and tell everyone "See? We don't look THAT much alike!"

(I've never said so in this diary, but lots of people say I look like Eric Benet.)

What people don't realize is that all light skinned dudes with dreadlocks look alike.

It's true. Me, Lenny Kravitz, Eric Benet, Gary Dourdan back in the day....okay, I don't think we all look alike, but people that have light-skinned dreadlocks man fetishes will think so.

And there's nothing wrong with such a fetish AT ALL.

Oooh, here's some good news, which I can only partially tell you. I THINK I have come up with a title for the second novel. I wasn't feeling the other working titles I had, and my number one pick was the title of an existing book by a black author (non-fiction, but still...didn't think that would be the right thing to do). My new working title keeps in the Biblical arena, as Lazarus but it makes sense.

*Doing a quick search on Amazon to see if it's taken.....*

It's taken, but not by any African American novelists. For that matter, old boy isn't alive, nor is his book popular. Book titles aren't copyrightable, so basically I could name a book The Green Mile if I wanted to. But a gentleman wouldn't do such things. I'd hate (in all seriousness) for somebody to order my book thinking it was another black novel, or vice versa. The polite thing is just to be more original if possible.

Writing....I love it. I can't wait for this time off, though. I've got so much I want to handle creatively. (As well as the business side of everything.)

But okay, I am like crazy tired all of a sudden....I think I'ma lay down.

PEACE!

Posted on October 26, 2004 at 9:06 PM | Comments (0)

Novel #3

Naw....I couldn't leave for work with that negative post being at the top of my page. I've taken a shower, cleared my head, and now I want to talk about my third novel and the writing process in general.

My novels so far all deal with one central character, Adrian Collins. I have about five stories in me that deal with Adrian's trials and tribulations as he navigates through college and onto manhood. In some ways, the are love stories, but not romance novels. To be honest, I don't quite know what genre they fall in. I would consider them "college novels" if that's a category. They aren't gritty enough to be STREET FICTION yet they definitely have elements of hip-hop in them. You can't have a novel about college students without using hip-hop as the soundtrack.

They also aren't really "gay" novels....okay, that's a damn lie, lol. What I mean is that they aren't like the gay novels you have read so far. They certainly aren't like mainstream gay novels written by white men. And that's okay, I know and appreciate the fact that there are differences between gay white men and gay black men that should be celebrated.

My novels aren't like E. Lynn Harris' novels although I definitely honor and credit him for paving the way for gay black fiction in the mainstream. E. Lynn's first novel, Invisible Life, was perfect for me to read when I was a high school student. But his subsequent books were a little too "old" for me when I was a college student. I still enjoyed reading them, but I didn't feel like they reflected my experiences anymore.

I also appreciate the work of James Earl Hardy, but my work isn't quite like his, either. I like him because he is on the opposite end of the spectrum as E. Lynn. It's like E. Lynn is the upscale mall, James is the street vendor. E. Lynn is the adult contemporary station, and James is hip-hop all the way. But the thing that sets me apart from James is, once again, the age of the main characters. My folks are all (initially) college students, and I like the fact that in college, you can illustrate code switching and the duality of language and behavior among Black students. Here you have this group of scholars who are comfortable saying "He be" and "we be" and "nigga, please" without losing their authenticity as educated, young, black people.

In my novels, you will not find stereotypes -- you will find people who are like you and me. There is no token slut, no hypersexed, overly masculine DL brother, no drag queens, and no hyper-sensitive emn. They are just normal college students, some of whom happen to be gay.

I think it's about time we had a novel like that, don't you think?

I am concerned with how gay black men are protrayed in literature, in the media, and the collective eyes of African America. Books like that one by JL King aren't doing anything positive for gay black people....it's just dividing us more from our straight counterparts and doing little to address the real issues among us, including self-esteem and tolerance.

I don't think my book is going to automatically change lives and open doors....I think it's just going to be a small piece of an overall movement.

Anyway, about my writing process.

I can't start writing without an outline. That's just how I work. I have about five novels in me dealing with all these characters. Just because one novel begins and ends, there are always going to be loose ends that can be carried over and expounded upon in the next novel. I think I must be influenced by my love of soap operas in that way....reading is important, and fun, and somewhere deep inside I was also a little disappointed by stand-alone novels. Like Carrie by Stephen King, for example. I always wanted to know "And then what???" even though the novel was really conclusive in how it ended.

So, I write an outline. I might not always stick to the outline, but I must have a completed one before I begin. Right now, I am stuck on my currently outline because although I know what I want to say, I am not so sure how I want to execute these themes.

Writing takes a lot of time, and it's not for everyone. But don't be fooled....you don't have to be rich to create the "leisure" time necessary to be a writer. Personally, I like being a substitute teacher. It's not exactly the most lucrative field, and I don't get benefits, but it gives me a shorter work day. I can come home and write a little bit if I want. And of course, weekends and holidays are free. And summers. But most importantly, I know that if I budget properly, I can take a few days or weeks off and do nothing but write if I want to. Right now, I have a long term assignment subbing for a woman on maternity leave. I have about three weeks left in this assignment, and when I am finished, I will take about two weeks to do nothing but research and prepare for this third novel.

I got to do it...I have to do what it takes to get the novels in my head onto paper.

After they're on paper, then we can work on editing. But the toughest part is getting what you want to say on paper in a way that makes sense artistically and contextually.

Anyway, now I need to go to work....PEACE!

Posted on October 18, 2004 at 7:29 AM | Comments (1)

Things

Things are moving in a positive direction.

I hope to have some news...soon. Not like tomorrow soon, but like within the month soon.

Keep waiting with baited breath!

Posted on October 15, 2004 at 9:31 PM | Comments (0)

Thursdays

Thursdays are sooooooo hard. Not impossible, but tough. Every hour needs to be planned out to the second. We didn't get as much accomplished in the classroom as I would have liked. But it wasn't a bad day.

My kids recited a poem over the PA system during the morning announcements. It is a poem called "Ations" by the late, great Shel Silverstein. It had lots of big words, but they did great! Of course, some of them didn't show up on time, but they are all their by the time the announcements started. We got a lot of props for how well they did.

I think other teachers think I am doing WONDERS in the first grade in the abscence of the pemanent teacher. I think I am doing an okay job, but I'm not so sure I am advancing them by leaps and bounds. I mean, they ARE kids, ya know? I'm still struggling with my "below-level" group. But all in all, they are a good group.

*****

I've got lots of emails to return! The support for this site and my writing projects has been overwhelming, for real! I really appreciate everyone who has been visiting this site. By all means, if you enjoy the site, sign the guestbook. If you find yourself addicted to this diary, then please leave a comment. This site is supposed to be interactive, so interact!

*****

You will notice that my "Favorites" section is still under contruction. Basically, I wanted that to be one of the tightest, most entertaining parts of my site aside from the diary. I have a lot of favorite books, movies, tv shows, people, etc, that I want to share with you all. But I don't want to just give you a list and say "Here, buy these." I want to tell you WHY I love these things so, where you can get them, who introduced me to them, etc, etc.

It'll be great, I promise. It will depend on how soon I actually get the damn thing written.

*****

Some of you have been asking questions personally and on the message boards I frequent. The number one question is "When can I buy Lazarus?" Well firstly, thanks for asking! Unfortunately, the book is not currently for sale, but we ARE surveying interest! So if you DO want a copy of this book, you MUST send us an email letting us know! When the book does become available, people who email us directly will get priority. We want to take care of the true, die hard fans first -- as it should be!

Other people want to know how they can help. Well, you can help in many ways. One very small way is just to tell people about the site. A really easy way would be to just email the link to all your friends, or send it through your instant message programs. Tell people through word of mouth. If you are Greek, tell your prophytes, sands, brothers, sorors, whomever. Lazarus will definitely interest them!

The more people that know about Old Gold Soul, the more people will know about Lazarus. As an artist, what I want to do is share my work with the world. To be perfectly honest, being an artist has a lot to do with personal satisfaction -- the fact that I created something that people will (hopefully) fall in love with. That's so much more fulfilling than being on a best seller list.

...though being number one on the New York Times best seller list wouldn't be a BAD thing.

If you have other specific ideas on how you'd like to help, feel free to email me!

God bless and peace out!

Posted on October 14, 2004 at 4:23 PM | Comments (0)

Oh My Gosh

Wow.

The first thing I want to do is send out a supreme shout out to my web designer for doing a fabulous job on this site! Check out her design site, Lovely and Uppermost Design! She's the bomb and so is her work. Girl, you know that the magic that is Old Gold Soul could not have happened without your creativity and know-how!

Next.....oh my gosh, the response to this site has been suprising, to say the least! I did a lot of promoting of this site, true, and I am still promoting, but for it to be a Sunday evening, this site got an awful lot of hits!

I also want to highly recommend Funk Media Web Hosting. They are really affordable and accessible. Love them, love them.

I want to thank all the visitors to this site so far! Your emails and comments in the guestbook have been very encouraging...I am definitely going to keep up the work on my writing my novels and envisioning this site.

I have a wonderful team hard at work on the Old Gold Soul mission, so please don't think this is all just me! I have a mentor, family, friends, readers, researchers -- folks who just want to help a young man realize his vision. I am so appreciative of all the help people have been providing. I will do my best to keep doing what I do -- writing books. We've just got to get them published!

Keep coming back to this blog. It might not be as juicy as some other blogs out there, but I promise you will be entertained and educated....edutained?

Have a good night y'all!

Posted on October 10, 2004 at 11:52 PM | Comments (0)

Done!

Novel #2 is OVAH!!!!!

And once again, I had my emotional moment at the end. Like Kathleen Turner in Romancing the Stone:

Sobbing: "The (tap tap tap)....end (tap tap tap)"

Yes, it is always just like that for me. I loooooove my characters so much. I have had these chracters in me since 1999, and I only got them warmed up in Novel #1. In THIS novel, they are really coming into their own.

I am so glad I finished, man. I was eating, breathing, and sleeping this novel. Once upon a time, I might have fancied myself as similar to my main character, but we are really two different people.

I am not sure if I mentioned this before, but I HATE HATE HATE when people ask me if I've written an autobiography. UGH! Does anyone ask Toni Morrison that junk?

Anyway....I am getting really anxious to get my career rolling. I am now at a point where certain things aren't in my control, therefore causing me to put other things on hold. I am being patient and understanding, but I can't help but be concerned. This is my career.

On a website for my friend Amerie she was talking about how she had to adapt from artist to businesswoman when she started making it big. And having known her in undergrad, I can see how that would be a challenge for her, yet fun at the same time. Looking back on myself at that time, I don't think I would have thought of myself as thinking the challenge would be fun, but it is. I like the fact that my career is in my hands. I am a talented writer, but I can't ONLY be a talented writer....I have got to be a brilliant promoter, publicist, all that....and right now, since I am not "famous" I have to be all those things for myself, or I will fail as an author.

****

One of my high school friends called me last week. I love that man SO MUCH!!!! He is like a long lost brother who you really do admire and respect, but your lives are so different that they don't actually "mesh" so all you truly have is great conversations. Anyway, I think I want to explore the option of writing a book about his life. He has seen and done A LOT and I think telling his story could be a new take on the "Street Fiction" genre. Or, it could be more of an anthropological type of book....I so loved anthro in college. I'll see.

****

That's all for now folks! Enjoy your week!

Posted on September 12, 2004 at 7:03 PM

Like, two and a fourth more chapters....

I am listening to this song called "Tale Your Mama Out" by the Scissor Sisters. It's really tight. Too bad I haven't listened to the lyrics yet. It could be talking about killing blacks and homosexuals.

Anyway.....I haven't exactly been writing my butt off lately, due to honestly being worn out from one of the chapters I wrote last month and then school starting not too long after that. However, I have indeed been writing, and now I am almost finished with chapter 18 of novel #2.

Isn't that crazy? I've always been able to write fairly quickly (meaning, writing a major piece over the summer was never a major feat for me) but it's still kinda odd that I remain so on-schedule when it comes to writing, but the rest of my deadlines are in a shambles, ha ha ha. But seriously....

I have really enjoyed writing Novel #2. I like my characters. My main character from Novel #1 really grew and matured by #2, and I introduce a complex character, too. I am just really eager to get these works out there to the public -- I think I am a good writer, and each of my works is better than the next.

I sat down and figured out that I have about five novels in me with the existing characters. Primarily, these books will be about my original protagonist, but there will be some other standard characters. I wish I could speak about them more specifically, but you'll just have to wait!

My friends who have been reading my work (the women) all jokingly tell me what they wish would happen to the female character in my novel. Truth be told, although she is an extremely strong and vital character, my female lead is mostly a sidekick. Hey, I am no Terry McMillan -- I can't do justice to a story about black women. But I can definitely honor black women by putting a really strong one in my novel.

I don't want to go the E. Lynn Harris route. I believe his first two novels were vehicles for social change, but his later novels began to cater to black female audiences. I could no longer pick up his books and feel that they were for me anymore.

And that's fine, E. Lynn is making his money, I'm not mad at him. But I hope that my first five books will be the vehicles for change that pick up where E. Lynn left off. They reach a slightly younger audience, a smart audience, an audience that is familiar with and/or intrigued by Greek life; a female audience, but also a male audience. I am speaking to my gay, black brothers, but I am also speaking for them. I want people to read my novels and walk away thinking "I had never considered that before...."

So, we'll see.....I REALLY hope that I can share some good news in here in the next few weeks. Like, some REALLLLLLY good news.

But I shouldn't say more, don't wanna jinx it.

PEACE!

Posted on September 5, 2004 at 2:29 PM

Filth Flarn Filth

So.....I finally finished writing the longest love scene in the world. Oh my gosh. It was so long. The whole thing ended up being 20 pages, inclusive of some important in-between conversations. All my other chapters average ten pages.

That scene is BANANAS. We are talking some 9 and 1/2 Weeks type stuff. I'll spare you the details, but it's definitely a marathon.

I'ma little weirded out by it being so graphic, but it's all for a reason. Or multiple reasons.

The bad thing is that I had to get up very early this morning (early for someone with no job this summer) and let in the gentlemen who will be fixing he ceiling in my old room, stripping the wallpaper, and painting the walls. I went to sleep at like 3:30 last night. I think my body is so used to my cough syrup that it wasn't used to going to sleep drug free, LOL. Let me find out I'm an addict.

So now I am working on four hours sleep, watching Days of Our Lives, and not really doing much of anything because I don't want to fall asleep with strangers in the house. They are nice people though.

Posted on August 9, 2004 at 12:58 PM

Love Scenes

My lord, my lord.....I had to take a break from the sex scene I was writing in the second novel. I normally don't like writing love scenes because they make ME feel nekkid. Like my friends/family will be like ewwwwww this is how Rashid has sex! In reality, it's how my characters have sex, but it still has an air of exhibitionism around it.

This scene was really important because it is the culmination of a lot of sexual tension between my two main characters.

Some of you might know that I use music to put me in the mood to write any particular chapter. Luckily, I had a playlist I called "The F*** List." No comment as to whether I have used it in real life before.

Okay, I have.

Here are my songs on the F*** List. Please, download or purchase them where available:

If I Ever Fall In Love, Shai
UHH AHH, Boyz II Men
Moments in Your House, Alanis Morrisette vs Art of Noise
Darling Nikki, Rebecca Romjin Stamos
Say Yes (Timbaland Remix), Floetry
Part-Time Lover, H-Town
Slow Grind, JS
Splash Waterfalls, Ludacris
Pussycat, Missy Elliot
I'm Still In Love With You, Sean Paul ft Sasha
Untitled (How Does it Feel), D'Angelo
Delicate, Terence Trent D'Arby
Red Light Special (LA's Flava Mix), TLC
Woke Up, W. Ellington Felton & Raheem DeVaughn
Justify My Love, Madonna
Rock The Love Boat (Mikenzo Mash-Up), Aaliyah vs Art of Noise
For the Good Times, Al Green
Uninvited, Alanis Morrisette
Candy, Big Maybelle
Sometimes, Bilal
Ecstasy, Bone Thugs N Harmony
Sign Your Name, Terence Trent D'Arby

They are hot and guaranteed to get the draws every single time. But you don't have to take MY word for it. BA-DA-DUN!!

Posted on August 7, 2004 at 11:28 PM

I Had a Dream....

I had a dream the other night. I was with a light-skinned guy who was very lean but very muscular. He had to have been an athlete -- I thought track at first, but now I know it was basketball.

I know now that the person I dreamed of was not a boyfriend or a lover -- it was a character from the novel I am currently writing. This is the first time I've ever dreamed up one of my characters. He looked different from the person I always imagined in my head. But that's a good thing, I guess.

This novel, the second one, is going to be THE HOTNESS. I am enjoying the writing of it. Parts have made my cry with sadness...other parts....well, they were highly frought with sexual tension that my readers will definitely find to be palpable. Probably moreso than the first novel.

I am really looking forward to getting my work into readers' hands. I hope my readers can be patient while I make it happen.

Posted on August 5, 2004 at 7:12 PM

Writing My Ass Off

I have been writing a lot this past week or so. I am really doing my best to be done with the first draft of the second novel by September 1. It would be really great to start my career with one novel and have the second one ready to go shortly thereafter. After the first two novels, I think I'd like to release the first volume of poetry. Ultimately, in five years, I want three novels and three books of poetry. That's a pretty decent goal to have, eh? Especially if I am self-publishing.

I had a conversation with Shari today. Every now and then I need to discuss "art" with her. Although she was a business major, she minored in English and has a really good eye for plot development. Anyway, it was good to know that she and I were on the same page about this one particular element of my novel. I am pretty stubborn when it comes to...well, when it comes to anything, but especially my craft. I take very few people's opinions to heart in this game. Well, probably more people than average, but...a lot of people who think they know me probably don't, at least when it comes to writing.

How many people know that I really like science-fiction and horror and that after my initial projects are out, I'd like to turn my attention to those genres?

Ummmmmm-hmmmmmm. Didn't think so. Ha ha ha.

Posted on July 31, 2004 at 8:32 PM

Going to the Post Office

I'm going to the post office today to mail Soror her shirt that I really should have mailed to her a few months back. Oops. She visited DC on the weekend that the Ques, Deltas, and Zetas all came out at Howard. After the Deltas came out, we went to the Guild, across the street from Howard. She paid for the shirt with her credit card and I said "Suuuuuuure! I'll pick it up next week and drop it in the mail, SAWRAH!"

Well, needless to say, that was April, now it is July. I went back to the Guild last week to pick it up, and it looks nice.

I am also going to mail my manuscript to Neil. He is interested in designing the cover, as is another friend of mine. I kinda asked them both on the same day. I am interested in seeing the designs that they come up with. I feel like Neil is gonna have some funky, Asian influenced design that could work well. But I also feel like Scott might have some really intense concept, as well. I don't know....I like them both and if they both have really awesome designs, I'm really not trying to reject a friend. At the same time, it's all bidness, I suppose. I'll love them both regardless.

I am hoping that while at the Post Office, I can get a PO Box. That will be incredibly necessary in the coming year when I take pre-orders and mail orders for the book. But the ghetto ass Post Office in my neighborhood said they don't have any boxes available. Doesn't that suck? They are the "mean" Post Office anyway. When I say mean, them negroes are MEAN. I have to use the ill Georgetown voice on them sometimes. You know, the hoity toity "I can't believe I'm even speaking to you, but I will if I must" voice.

So, I might just go up the street to the next neighborhood over. There is this reaaaaaaaly nice Delta who works in the "good" post office. Plus, this one is cleaner and looks bigger, like they might have more Boxes. So, we shall see.

Posted on July 26, 2004 at 1:53 PM | TrackBack